"do I have bad manners"??????

So, some of you have been following my story, calichick007 and others and have been guiding me along the way you keep telling me that it is not a relationship and I understand, but darn I felt so close to him there for a while and he was sooooo affectionate whilst we were together BUT

I TOLD HIM OFF LAST NIGHT!

yay yay!

He stood me up again and accidentally text me and said, "oh I will try to call you later"

I said to him:

"I am so mad at you for ignoring me so much, don't bother calling me ever again, I was really into you but you have really pissed me off with your manners this past week."

do which he responded:

"Wow, OK"

"I have bad manners?"

and then I said:

" We were supposed to hang out today and you did not even have the common courtesy to text me back and say you were working, to me that says you are not interested in dating me so just tell me instead of leading me on falsely."

then I said

"maybe I went a little overboard with my texts and calls and chats but you straight out have ignored me all week so that tells me you are not interested, don't give me false hope, just tell me the truth."

then I talked to my sister and she said I was being dramatic so I said:

" I can tell you are a good person and I have loved all of the time that we have spent together, but you are unavailable to date me and meet my needs that I have. If you think you are open to dating me and actually responding to my communication then feel free to contact me but until then please don't contact me anymore. I don't want to be friends either. Take Care"

(this is where my influence from the perfect plan came in

What do you all think???

I am over him, I got SOOOOOO mad last night and I think all of the encouragement and reassurance from this site that he was not into me helped me try to make a case for myself but I am mad at myself about telling him "oh you are not into me" that is self-defacing and I should not have said that, but I am glad I got mad, FELT GOOD!

He will probably never contact me again but at least in this situation I have had some control over him not contacting me instead of waiting for contact, I know he won't contact me again. I just wonder why he kept stringing me along and then just dissapearing on me TO WORK! ha he has to work all of the time. I just have lost all of my respect for him and his behaviour towards me

thanks to CALICHICK007 Browneyedgirl36 and sidehop

!

I guess this is over I wont talk about it anymore here lol.

He is the one with bad manners and needed to have someone call him out on it. Well done.

Showing self respect does wonders for your self-esteem.

Keep your chin up!

He is the one with bad manners and needed to have someone call him out on it. Well done.

Thanks DN! and HeartGoesOn!

I don't know what was really going on since I haven't been following your threads, but it sounds like he's rather inconsiderate and even if you were being dramatic the end result is good because you are now rid of him!

High-five.

I feel devestated today

should I apologize, ask for forgiveness? I miss him so much

Not while your emotions are all over the place, read what you were saying last night. You need to try and calm yourself down and limit any damage by doing nothing for a while

do I apologize?

the truth is that I went out with a guy from work whilst we were dating and also another guy from okcupid se technically I was cheating on him, but since everyone says we were not in a realtionship then thats ok right?

I just feel morally wrong about seeing other people while I was dating him.

You have to be in a relationship with someone to cheat on them. You. Were. NEVER. In. A. Relationship. With. This. Man. Do you really not understand that??? I guarantee you he is seeing other women. More importantly, he has no interest in seeing you. What are you going to apologize for? For wanting him to respond to your messages? For wanting him not to ignore you? For expecting basic respect???

Are you in any sort of therapy? I think you need to get to the root of why you are so incredibly desperate for a relationship.

 

Are you in any sort of therapy? I think you need to get to the root of why you are so incredibly desperate for a relationship.

My psychiatrist/therapist told me that I need to be in a relationship. She told me that is one way I can be cured. That's why I am looking so hard. This guy and I went to the same high school so we share a lot of memories and I felt so comfortable around him. He was also SUPER touchy feely around me, hug me kiss me wrap his arm around me hold my hand and such and to me that kind of body language says relationship, not just dating. I was a little uncomfortable with it but I just let it happen. He also called me sweetie, told me I was pretty ...I dk I guess he could do that stuff to someone he was just dating. Its just annoying I was taken by his actions. Now I have nothing left of it.

should I apologize, ask for forgiveness? I miss him so much

No. If you do he will push the boundaries on mistreating you , knowing he will get away with it each time and all you need is time to cool off. Stand firm or you will be enabling him to treat you bad forever.

I think you need a new therapist. I honestly do not think you are emotionally stable enough to have a healthy relationship... you seem completely out of touch with reality. A man putting his arm around you or calling you pretty does not make him your boyfriend. It just doesn't. People go on a few dates all of the time and things just don't work out. Everybody you go out with will not end up being your boyfriend, or your fiance, or your husband down the line.

Yeah, that's weird for a therapist to recommend a relationship while you're at that emotional stage. Ask someone else. Go get a second opinion.

You do not owe him an apology. He owes you one at this point. He should man up and say "Dang, I sure deserved that. Sorry for what I did." Bonus points if he thanks you for calling him out on his behavior, though few people will go that far.

You weren't cheating on anyone. You were just dating. Simple as that.

do I apologize?

 

the truth is that I went out with a guy from work whilst we were dating and also another guy from okcupid se technically I was cheating on him, but since everyone says we were not in a realtionship then thats ok right?

 

I just feel morally wrong about seeing other people while I was dating him.

You were not exclusive with him! You can date whomever you want. And, NO...you should NOT apologize. The guy was totally blowing you off. He wasn't that interested. Why in the world would you apologize to him for being honest? He said he'd contact you, and he didn't until MUCH later. He's been hot and cold with you all along. He doesn't deserve an apology.

You say you "miss" him, but even if you did apologize, I doubt anything would change. He would still not be that into you, and you'd just be opening the door for him to keep you hanging on with sporadic contact, cancelled dates, etc.

What's so great about this guy, really?

My psychiatrist/therapist told me that I need to be in a relationship. She told me that is one way I can be cured. That's why I am looking so hard. This guy and I went to the same high school so we share a lot of memories and I felt so comfortable around him. He was also SUPER touchy feely around me, hug me kiss me wrap his arm around me hold my hand and such and to me that kind of body language says relationship, not just dating. I was a little uncomfortable with it but I just let it happen. He also called me sweetie, told me I was pretty ...I dk I guess he could do that stuff to someone he was just dating. Its just annoying I was taken by his actions. Now I have nothing left of it.

Your therapist did you NO favors by telling you this. It will "cure" you? Wow. Being in a relationship doesn't "cure" us or "fix" us; we need to be whole, well people before we can have good, healthy relationships. Your therapist has it backward. And, something tells me that she's the type to stay in a bad relationship -- any relationship -- just because she doesn't want to be alone.

I get it that he gave you attention that made you feel good about yourself. I've been in your shoes, and yeah, stuff like this makes it tons harder to let go because when they take away their attention, they take away that good feeling. BUT...the thing is, you HAVE to create that good feeling within yourself -- through loving yourself, taking care of yourself, cultivating hobbies and interests, making friends, enjoying your life. Without that, another person's affection/attention is going to amount to nothing, and if it gets taken away, you'll be devastated. YOU have to love YOU and appreciate YOU; you can't rely on anyone else -- especially a romantic partner/date/crush to make you feel good about yourself.