Awkward with a co-worker after hooking up....sort of..

Its times like these where I'm glad of the anonymity of the internet. I'm basically just writing this out to get it off my chest, so there's no order or anything just thoughts

so basically me and this co-worker (who I'm her immediate supervisor) began texting and hanging out over the past 3months just being flirty and just getting along really well and working well together. There is an age-gap I'm 27 and shes 20. she had a boyfriend up until new years which is basically when we started texting more frequently (we texted before as well). Well we started going to the clubs in a group of us from work. Last weeks was my birthday and we all went out as a group. We went to several places flirting via text and dancing together when the others were away. Eventually we ended up back at my place where we began to hook up...I dont normally do this. I've had 4 sexual partners my whole life but I liked this girl. i thought she would stop us at a certain point but we just kept going. I went down on her and she on me....then bam.... could not get it up to save my life (or my pride) Now I did drink alot and was REALLY NERVOUS but she just chalked it up to drinking to much and said we could try it again in the morning - again could not get it going... (I think it is porn induced ED which I never heard of before in my life, as it had been over 16months since i last had sex but im treating that (different topic))

She doesn't seem to mind again and we make out and roll around in bed I make a comment about how I thought we had a connection from day1 and shes says that her transferring to my department was the best move shes ever made. She also says that "I will get another chance later". I later drop her off at her car and she kisses me like all is well. I had some things planned for my birthday so we dont hang out that day but send a few texts. I leave town Monday to see a sporting event so again we exchange some texts. I come back Tuesday and ask her if she wants to hangout...nope....Wednesday?....nope....well Thursday we have a business meeting so we have to hangout...and its AWKWARD as I ever been with a girl. I play it casual though as we both agreed no to tell any co-workers. After the meeting I ask if I did something wrong she says were fine...but after says she doesnt want a relationship i reply with " well you know how i feel so the balls in your court and walk away" that was just over an hour ago.

I plan to not text unless work related, keep it fun and hopefully normal (and by normal i mean flirty) on the job like before and just take it day by day and just forget about the whole thing. However it will be an act as I do care for this girl and would like a relationship. I also would like another chance to REDEEM myself in bed with her but I'm not sure how to approach that. (I did go down on her in the morning as well and brought her to orgasm)

I just needed to write this out because this kind of happened previously to me and I hate the fact that a nice guy who does everything right can get stuck in the same situation again. I really am a total gentlemen and good all around guy yet I can be socially awkward and have troubles meeting new people - especially girls.

I originally came here Years ago for advice and it popped in my head again after receiving a Happy Bday message from the site so I figured I'd post and hopefully help some other people or let others write out their feelings.