Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Male - Issues Staying Aroused

  1. #1
    Telsiph
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    7

    Male - Issues Staying Aroused

    I have had numerous relationships, but none of them were particularly sexually active. My latest girlfriend is very sexually active though, and I can tell she is getting annoyed by my current lack of performance. I am not sexually excited very often, and when I am, I am not particularly sensitive. Thus having sex with a condom on ends up being a waste of time as I feel almost nothing, and combine that with my lack of arousal I end up losing my erection.

    I don't really believe it's medical. I have no problem staying erect during hand or oral, it is simply a lack of feeling from the condom, plus not a massive amount of drive. After a few minutes of feeling nothing, I get nervous, and that doesn't help either and it becomes a downward spiral. I am curious if anyone has faced something similar to this. I am thinking about trying some different positions as well to perhaps increase contact and stimulation with that damned condom on, but I also want to increase my drive. Has anyone tried any type of supplements or pills to counter this, or any special type of condoms? I have heard "Kimono" mentioned in the past, but that's all I know right now. All advice is appreciated!

  2. #2
    FreeFallFeelin
    Platinum Member FreeFallFeelin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    West Coast USA
    Age
    42
    Posts
    1,223
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    15
    I think your issues are more common than you might think. Let's face it, guys are under pressure to live up to the myth that we have unstoppable 24/7 sex drives. Just isn't so. I mean, I was a horn-dog in my twenties and early thirties, but that has dropped off quite a bit since passing my mid 30's. I like you, despise condoms for the same reason - can't feel a thing.

    Definitely try different positions, rooms, times of day, etc. But also clue your partner in to how you're feeling. She probably senses your lack of drive and may be thinking it's because you aren't attracted to her. If you open up to her about this issue, she'll probably be more patient, put less pressure on you, and be more open to doing new things. She might even be thrilled that you want to address the issue (because it shows you care for her).

    I can say for sure that exercise, vitamins, and eating well will boost libido. Also, if you're over worked, over stressed, or just bored with day to day routine, those things can decrease libido. So maybe it's a matter of giving your body what it needs to be healthy, and removing things that make it unhealthy.

  3. #3
    arrakis77
    Bronze Member arrakis77's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    165
    Gender
    Male
    I would get checked out (testosterone levels, prostate inflammation) just to make sure there's nothing medical. Then try what I did -- eat healthier (cut out sugars/carbs), do some aerobics a few times a week and try 5G L-arginine powder (not tablets) daily on an empty stomach. Also, lay off self-gratification for a bit. I noticed a big difference in sensitivity and desire after just 5-7 days.

  4. #4
    Telsiph
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    7
    Yeah, over the last year I've really gotten myself into shape in the hopes of having a healty relationship. I'll be the first to admit, I spent about 4 years just gaining weight and contributing nothing. Over the last year I've gotten back into school, lost about 45 pounds (6'1 at 175 pounds now) and eat generally healthy, but that drive is still lacking. I definitely still have those "self pleasure" moments, but I suppose that's because it's just to get rid of stress from working, school, working out, etc. It does seem rather obvious that laying off that would assist, need to figure out a good avenue of approach for that as I'm certainly quite used to it.

    I'm not familiar with L-arginine. I take my multi vitamin and fish oil, but that would be new. Something I would need to pick up at a GNC perhaps? What are the benefits?

    Yeah, unfortunately birth control apparently effects her hormones, and other methods of birth control are "nasty gels" that she wants to avoid. So I have to figure out a way of becoming comfortable doing this.

  5. #5
    cdb1204
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    334
    I've learned that having at least 20 minutes of good foreplay can help.

    I recently experienced this with a woman who was much more attractive with her clothes on than she was with her clothes off (due to some recent weight gain), and I wasn't nearly as aroused as I could have been.

    Turn the lights off and think about your favorite centerfold.

  6. #6
    arrakis77
    Bronze Member arrakis77's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    165
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by Telsiph [Register to see the link]
    I'm not familiar with L-arginine. I take my multi vitamin and fish oil, but that would be new. Something I would need to pick up at a GNC perhaps? What are the benefits?
    You can Google about L-arginine, but basically it increases bloodflow. I use the Now Sports Free Form powder which you should be able to get at any health store. Warning that it tastes absolutely horrible but because it works for me, I deal with it.

  7.  

Top Threads
How to slow *her* down...
I've been dating a girl for a while, lovely girl, beautiful, interesting, smart...all good! Anyway, she is busy, as am I, so we only really get
Sexless Relationship- Why do we have to settle?
Hi there, I have been with my boyfriend 4 1/2 years. The first 6 months were amazing, he proposed and it all went pear shaped. Sex went from every
feeling sexually rejected by boyfriend
I am a 21 y/o F and my boyfriend is 23. We've been dating on and off for about 2 1/2 years. We lived together once before, but broke up because of
No sex because of weight gain
Hi all, I'm 25 years old dating a 36 year old. We have been together for 2 years, and overall I think we have a fantastic relationship. We want the
Lost the Spark?
I'm in a relationship with a really great guy (for about a year and a half now), but I don't get super turned on by him. Are you supposed to be super
I don't feel lust towards my girlfriend of 6 months.
I've felt this towards every girl I've dated longer than a few months... I lose my desire to have sex and no longer feel the lust I used to feel
14 years old and need help :( ....!
ANY HELP IS APPRECIATED XX I'm 14 years old and in year 10. I struggle to break my emotional walls, have many family issues, not many friends but
Featured Threads
Dating younger guy 24 years difference
I am 50 yrs old dating a 26 yrs old guy. We been dating each other for a couple months things are great between us. He told me he will always be
Boyfriend gets very angry if I mention his ex, is this normal?
Hi everyone! My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 5months. He broke up with his ex and a year and a half ago. 7 months after they
Should I let my boyfriend stay overnight with his friends?
Hi there. Firstly thank you for reading this post. I am a new member to this forum, and also will soon be new immigrant of the UK so basically there
Is this abuse?
Iím desperate for some advice. Iíve been with my partner for nearly 2 years and everything has been ok, except from when he drinks. I really do not
Is there hope for me?
Me and my girlfriend of two years had been talking about moving in together lately. We didn't actually go look at any place in person, but browsed a
Bringing up trust issues at the start of a new relationship? My situation...
Haven't been on these boards since my last break up a couple years ago, and here I am about to begin a new relationship with feelings from the last
Whats my next move - Dating a girl fresh out of a relationship
Hey guys, So heres the deal. Met a girl in class and I asked her out. Her answer was "maybe" because she didn't want to say no to me but just
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •