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Thread: Male - Issues Staying Aroused

  1. #1
    Telsiph
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    Male - Issues Staying Aroused

    I have had numerous relationships, but none of them were particularly sexually active. My latest girlfriend is very sexually active though, and I can tell she is getting annoyed by my current lack of performance. I am not sexually excited very often, and when I am, I am not particularly sensitive. Thus having sex with a condom on ends up being a waste of time as I feel almost nothing, and combine that with my lack of arousal I end up losing my erection.

    I don't really believe it's medical. I have no problem staying erect during hand or oral, it is simply a lack of feeling from the condom, plus not a massive amount of drive. After a few minutes of feeling nothing, I get nervous, and that doesn't help either and it becomes a downward spiral. I am curious if anyone has faced something similar to this. I am thinking about trying some different positions as well to perhaps increase contact and stimulation with that damned condom on, but I also want to increase my drive. Has anyone tried any type of supplements or pills to counter this, or any special type of condoms? I have heard "Kimono" mentioned in the past, but that's all I know right now. All advice is appreciated!

  2. #2
    FreeFallFeelin
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    I think your issues are more common than you might think. Let's face it, guys are under pressure to live up to the myth that we have unstoppable 24/7 sex drives. Just isn't so. I mean, I was a horn-dog in my twenties and early thirties, but that has dropped off quite a bit since passing my mid 30's. I like you, despise condoms for the same reason - can't feel a thing.

    Definitely try different positions, rooms, times of day, etc. But also clue your partner in to how you're feeling. She probably senses your lack of drive and may be thinking it's because you aren't attracted to her. If you open up to her about this issue, she'll probably be more patient, put less pressure on you, and be more open to doing new things. She might even be thrilled that you want to address the issue (because it shows you care for her).

    I can say for sure that exercise, vitamins, and eating well will boost libido. Also, if you're over worked, over stressed, or just bored with day to day routine, those things can decrease libido. So maybe it's a matter of giving your body what it needs to be healthy, and removing things that make it unhealthy.

  3. #3
    arrakis77
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    I would get checked out (testosterone levels, prostate inflammation) just to make sure there's nothing medical. Then try what I did -- eat healthier (cut out sugars/carbs), do some aerobics a few times a week and try 5G L-arginine powder (not tablets) daily on an empty stomach. Also, lay off self-gratification for a bit. I noticed a big difference in sensitivity and desire after just 5-7 days.

  4. #4
    Telsiph
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    Yeah, over the last year I've really gotten myself into shape in the hopes of having a healty relationship. I'll be the first to admit, I spent about 4 years just gaining weight and contributing nothing. Over the last year I've gotten back into school, lost about 45 pounds (6'1 at 175 pounds now) and eat generally healthy, but that drive is still lacking. I definitely still have those "self pleasure" moments, but I suppose that's because it's just to get rid of stress from working, school, working out, etc. It does seem rather obvious that laying off that would assist, need to figure out a good avenue of approach for that as I'm certainly quite used to it.

    I'm not familiar with L-arginine. I take my multi vitamin and fish oil, but that would be new. Something I would need to pick up at a GNC perhaps? What are the benefits?

    Yeah, unfortunately birth control apparently effects her hormones, and other methods of birth control are "nasty gels" that she wants to avoid. So I have to figure out a way of becoming comfortable doing this.

  5. #5
    cdb1204
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    I've learned that having at least 20 minutes of good foreplay can help.

    I recently experienced this with a woman who was much more attractive with her clothes on than she was with her clothes off (due to some recent weight gain), and I wasn't nearly as aroused as I could have been.

    Turn the lights off and think about your favorite centerfold.

  6. #6
    arrakis77
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    Quote Originally Posted by Telsiph [Register to see the link]
    I'm not familiar with L-arginine. I take my multi vitamin and fish oil, but that would be new. Something I would need to pick up at a GNC perhaps? What are the benefits?
    You can Google about L-arginine, but basically it increases bloodflow. I use the Now Sports Free Form powder which you should be able to get at any health store. Warning that it tastes absolutely horrible but because it works for me, I deal with it.

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