Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Male - Issues Staying Aroused

  1. #1
    Telsiph
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    7

    Male - Issues Staying Aroused

    I have had numerous relationships, but none of them were particularly sexually active. My latest girlfriend is very sexually active though, and I can tell she is getting annoyed by my current lack of performance. I am not sexually excited very often, and when I am, I am not particularly sensitive. Thus having sex with a condom on ends up being a waste of time as I feel almost nothing, and combine that with my lack of arousal I end up losing my erection.

    I don't really believe it's medical. I have no problem staying erect during hand or oral, it is simply a lack of feeling from the condom, plus not a massive amount of drive. After a few minutes of feeling nothing, I get nervous, and that doesn't help either and it becomes a downward spiral. I am curious if anyone has faced something similar to this. I am thinking about trying some different positions as well to perhaps increase contact and stimulation with that damned condom on, but I also want to increase my drive. Has anyone tried any type of supplements or pills to counter this, or any special type of condoms? I have heard "Kimono" mentioned in the past, but that's all I know right now. All advice is appreciated!

  2. #2
    FreeFallFeelin
    Platinum Member FreeFallFeelin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    West Coast USA
    Age
    42
    Posts
    1,223
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    14
    I think your issues are more common than you might think. Let's face it, guys are under pressure to live up to the myth that we have unstoppable 24/7 sex drives. Just isn't so. I mean, I was a horn-dog in my twenties and early thirties, but that has dropped off quite a bit since passing my mid 30's. I like you, despise condoms for the same reason - can't feel a thing.

    Definitely try different positions, rooms, times of day, etc. But also clue your partner in to how you're feeling. She probably senses your lack of drive and may be thinking it's because you aren't attracted to her. If you open up to her about this issue, she'll probably be more patient, put less pressure on you, and be more open to doing new things. She might even be thrilled that you want to address the issue (because it shows you care for her).

    I can say for sure that exercise, vitamins, and eating well will boost libido. Also, if you're over worked, over stressed, or just bored with day to day routine, those things can decrease libido. So maybe it's a matter of giving your body what it needs to be healthy, and removing things that make it unhealthy.

  3. #3
    arrakis77
    Bronze Member arrakis77's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    165
    Gender
    Male
    I would get checked out (testosterone levels, prostate inflammation) just to make sure there's nothing medical. Then try what I did -- eat healthier (cut out sugars/carbs), do some aerobics a few times a week and try 5G L-arginine powder (not tablets) daily on an empty stomach. Also, lay off self-gratification for a bit. I noticed a big difference in sensitivity and desire after just 5-7 days.

  4. #4
    Telsiph
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    7
    Yeah, over the last year I've really gotten myself into shape in the hopes of having a healty relationship. I'll be the first to admit, I spent about 4 years just gaining weight and contributing nothing. Over the last year I've gotten back into school, lost about 45 pounds (6'1 at 175 pounds now) and eat generally healthy, but that drive is still lacking. I definitely still have those "self pleasure" moments, but I suppose that's because it's just to get rid of stress from working, school, working out, etc. It does seem rather obvious that laying off that would assist, need to figure out a good avenue of approach for that as I'm certainly quite used to it.

    I'm not familiar with L-arginine. I take my multi vitamin and fish oil, but that would be new. Something I would need to pick up at a GNC perhaps? What are the benefits?

    Yeah, unfortunately birth control apparently effects her hormones, and other methods of birth control are "nasty gels" that she wants to avoid. So I have to figure out a way of becoming comfortable doing this.

  5. #5
    cdb1204
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    334
    I've learned that having at least 20 minutes of good foreplay can help.

    I recently experienced this with a woman who was much more attractive with her clothes on than she was with her clothes off (due to some recent weight gain), and I wasn't nearly as aroused as I could have been.

    Turn the lights off and think about your favorite centerfold.

  6. #6
    arrakis77
    Bronze Member arrakis77's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    165
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by Telsiph [Register to see the link]
    I'm not familiar with L-arginine. I take my multi vitamin and fish oil, but that would be new. Something I would need to pick up at a GNC perhaps? What are the benefits?
    You can Google about L-arginine, but basically it increases bloodflow. I use the Now Sports Free Form powder which you should be able to get at any health store. Warning that it tastes absolutely horrible but because it works for me, I deal with it.

  7.  

Top Threads
Saying "stop"
I just want to know how many people think it is something serious when you are about to have sex, starting to have sex or in the middle of sex and
Male opinions on this?
Hey, need some advice. I have been dating my boyfriend for a little less than a year. I have not, as of yet, been able to make him climax. He is able
Why doesn't he want to have sex with me?
I go to a small university and I sort of knew this guy vaguely for a while but one time we started talking randomly and it was like we instantly sort
Best condom for finishing inside her?
Hey all, The g/f and I have always done the pull-out method with condoms and finishing either on the body, mouth or face (all which she enjoys
Can we have a relationship with no sex?
I've been with my partner for over 7 months his 45 and I'm 37. We hit off really well it was like love at first sight He makes me feel special and
Having trouble with an orgasm...
I ended a relationship with a guy that I have been with for three years...it was an unhealthy relationship that I needed to end. Anyway, now that I'm
Featured Threads
Tired of Being His Provider??
Okay so I found this site through Google. This seems like a pretty common topic and I suppose I just need to vent. My husband has been unemployed
Beautiful women who works at lush...
So there is this a girl who works at this place. I've been in there twice now and she is a stunner. Its one of those girls who you have to look twice
Being left for another man by my ex girlfriend
My and my ex gf broke up 7 months ago back in late April. We had bad fights and she stated she was unhappy. She then proceeded to have an active
Wondering?
Ok, I posted before about my situation but I would like to further talk. This woman I became involved with 3 years ago TOLD me she had feelings for
Break up Advice Needed
Hi all, I really need some advice on my recent break up with my girlfriend of almost five years. A few months ago I started to feel unhappy and
She's getting ready for marriage. She thinks that it is what I want. My fault.
So, I am pretty much in a difficult situation. I have been with a girl for the past 4 years. In these 4 years, after a while I realized she really
Venting - Advice...?
Hello, Im a 36 year old male, married with 3 kids. My wife and I are pretty much like roommates. There is zero sex life and its from both ends
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •