Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Male - Issues Staying Aroused

  1. #1
    Telsiph
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    7

    Male - Issues Staying Aroused

    I have had numerous relationships, but none of them were particularly sexually active. My latest girlfriend is very sexually active though, and I can tell she is getting annoyed by my current lack of performance. I am not sexually excited very often, and when I am, I am not particularly sensitive. Thus having sex with a condom on ends up being a waste of time as I feel almost nothing, and combine that with my lack of arousal I end up losing my erection.

    I don't really believe it's medical. I have no problem staying erect during hand or oral, it is simply a lack of feeling from the condom, plus not a massive amount of drive. After a few minutes of feeling nothing, I get nervous, and that doesn't help either and it becomes a downward spiral. I am curious if anyone has faced something similar to this. I am thinking about trying some different positions as well to perhaps increase contact and stimulation with that damned condom on, but I also want to increase my drive. Has anyone tried any type of supplements or pills to counter this, or any special type of condoms? I have heard "Kimono" mentioned in the past, but that's all I know right now. All advice is appreciated!

  2. #2
    FreeFallFeelin
    Platinum Member FreeFallFeelin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    West Coast USA
    Age
    42
    Posts
    1,223
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    13
    I think your issues are more common than you might think. Let's face it, guys are under pressure to live up to the myth that we have unstoppable 24/7 sex drives. Just isn't so. I mean, I was a horn-dog in my twenties and early thirties, but that has dropped off quite a bit since passing my mid 30's. I like you, despise condoms for the same reason - can't feel a thing.

    Definitely try different positions, rooms, times of day, etc. But also clue your partner in to how you're feeling. She probably senses your lack of drive and may be thinking it's because you aren't attracted to her. If you open up to her about this issue, she'll probably be more patient, put less pressure on you, and be more open to doing new things. She might even be thrilled that you want to address the issue (because it shows you care for her).

    I can say for sure that exercise, vitamins, and eating well will boost libido. Also, if you're over worked, over stressed, or just bored with day to day routine, those things can decrease libido. So maybe it's a matter of giving your body what it needs to be healthy, and removing things that make it unhealthy.

  3. #3
    arrakis77
    Bronze Member arrakis77's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    165
    Gender
    Male
    I would get checked out (testosterone levels, prostate inflammation) just to make sure there's nothing medical. Then try what I did -- eat healthier (cut out sugars/carbs), do some aerobics a few times a week and try 5G L-arginine powder (not tablets) daily on an empty stomach. Also, lay off self-gratification for a bit. I noticed a big difference in sensitivity and desire after just 5-7 days.

  4. #4
    Telsiph
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    7
    Yeah, over the last year I've really gotten myself into shape in the hopes of having a healty relationship. I'll be the first to admit, I spent about 4 years just gaining weight and contributing nothing. Over the last year I've gotten back into school, lost about 45 pounds (6'1 at 175 pounds now) and eat generally healthy, but that drive is still lacking. I definitely still have those "self pleasure" moments, but I suppose that's because it's just to get rid of stress from working, school, working out, etc. It does seem rather obvious that laying off that would assist, need to figure out a good avenue of approach for that as I'm certainly quite used to it.

    I'm not familiar with L-arginine. I take my multi vitamin and fish oil, but that would be new. Something I would need to pick up at a GNC perhaps? What are the benefits?

    Yeah, unfortunately birth control apparently effects her hormones, and other methods of birth control are "nasty gels" that she wants to avoid. So I have to figure out a way of becoming comfortable doing this.

  5. #5
    cdb1204
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    334
    I've learned that having at least 20 minutes of good foreplay can help.

    I recently experienced this with a woman who was much more attractive with her clothes on than she was with her clothes off (due to some recent weight gain), and I wasn't nearly as aroused as I could have been.

    Turn the lights off and think about your favorite centerfold.

  6. #6
    arrakis77
    Bronze Member arrakis77's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    165
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by Telsiph [Register to see the link]
    I'm not familiar with L-arginine. I take my multi vitamin and fish oil, but that would be new. Something I would need to pick up at a GNC perhaps? What are the benefits?
    You can Google about L-arginine, but basically it increases bloodflow. I use the Now Sports Free Form powder which you should be able to get at any health store. Warning that it tastes absolutely horrible but because it works for me, I deal with it.

  7.  

Top Threads
Is she telling the truth about being a virgin?
LONG POST. BUT FUN TO READ. BASED ON MY EXPERIENCE. I'M NOT SURE IF THESE TYPES OF POSTS ARE ALLOWED. Me and my girlfriend started becoming
Condom issues - help
I'm on my phone so this will be brief right now...so I was with a new guy recently and the condom came off during sex :(. To me it seemed too big
I feel horrible, need advise please
I know I will be judged, and believe me I feel horrible. Never been in this situation. I have dated only three men in my life (including my ex
Help Please
This is really starting to get on my nerve now. Firstly, we are 22 and my boyfriend and I have been dating for about 3 years now. I left him last
Was it me?
My ex partner and I have been broken up for a few weeks now. We had our issues of arguing and she couldn't handle it and didn't know what she wanted
Sex drive high then disappeared
I know this doesn't really mean anything now as we aren't together. However when we first together it would happen all the time pretty much then she
Featured Threads
Whatever Happened to.....
Hey there, Does anyone know whatever happened to ENA old timers Brownstone, TiredTiger, SuperDave, mhowe, John Galt, Shane Falco, etc? I'd be
I Need Urgent Help With This, Please!!!
Sorry this is long, just want to explain the whole thing. I've been dating a guy for about 3 weeks. The first two weeks we hung out as "friends"
Being a "little man"
So I've been carrying this chip on my shoulder that has been a hindrance to my self confidence that I wanna get rid of. I'm 5'6, with hands and feet
So we broke up, but while I was breaking up with him his phone rang...
So I broke up with this guy who I thought was absolutely wonderful and trying to support as he was going through so much, divorce, business
No contact rule to get ex back.
So ive used the no contact rule to get my ex of 2 years back one other time after we had a short break. Our relationship only allowed us to see each
Am I being too harsh or a push over?
First post so here goes feel like I don't have anyone to turn to about this. Been in a relationship for about 6 years now all has been great for
You find love when you stop looking ??
I don't know how many times I've heard this expression. What do the people of ENA think of this statement? I get pretty annoyed when somebody
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •