"If you weren't married to ____, I'd totally hit on you."

So this was a line one of my wife's co-workers (who I happen to know) used on her. I'm happy she told me, but I'm a bit ticked off about it. It just seems so inappropriate.

To top it off, the guys married! It wasn't "If I wasn't married" it was "if you weren't married to X" which indicates to me a clearly unhappily married man.

I don't think anything would ever happen, but what would you do in this situation?

what can you do`? move on,forget and be happy she told you

he can be one of those guys that naturally flirt with women,,without having any intentions at all...just out of fun,joking around

I would let her handle it appropriately.

I wouldn't really do anything. Like guynextdoor mentioned, I would let them handle the situation accordingly.

Talk to your wife about it. How does she feel? What did she say in response?

Chances are, if she told you, she probably feels that it's inappropriate too.

what can you do`? move on,forget and be happy she told you

 

he can be one of those guys that naturally flirt with women,,without having any intentions at all...just out of fun,joking around

No such thing as a guy that flirts without any intentions. Beware.

Talk to your wife about it. How does she feel? What did she say in response?

 

Chances are, if she told you, she probably feels that it's inappropriate too.

She said something along the lines of "Well, I'll take that as a compliment." She was put on the spot though, and didn't have time to think. My personal response would have been "... and what would your wife think about that?"

No such thing as a guy that flirts without any intentions. Beware.

Agree with this. I am not a flirty person to begin with but that's why I'm against flirting when in a relationship.

She said something along the lines of "Well, I'll take that as a compliment." She was put on the spot though, and didn't have time to think. My personal response would have been "... and what would your wife think about that?"

That would have been mine too. I'm such a ball-buster. I like to say "Oh I'm sure your gf/bf would LOVE that!". oh well. As long as he's not actively trying to get in her pants by keeping up the behaviour and really bothering her, I would let this one go. It's GOOD that she told you though.

Hearing about any form of flirting towards the partner especially in an environment where the partner is going to be seeing this person who has flirted with her and is seeing her every working day is worrying.

In these situations partners should always back up what was mentioned with something which keeps their partners mind at rest.

e.g. This married guy at work told me (insert concerning sentence) so I said (insert response/action towards concerning sentence).

Just saying they had been told this or that and was flirted with only causes alarm.

Of course the SO is going to want to hear what was said in response.

If the partner sees their SO concerned or upset after being told the news and responds with a "Don't you trust me?" does not help either.

Such phrases as "Don't you trust me" only makes a person feel ashamed of the concern they have which is natural as they do not want to feel like they have someone else embarking on their relationship with the intention of breaking it up and should be eased no matter how much trust they have in their partner.

Hearing about any form of flirting towards the partner especially in an environment where the partner is going to be seeing this person who has flirted with her and is seeing her every working day is worrying.

Yeah. The fact that this guy supposedly respects me enough not to put any "real" moves on my wife is not really reassuring. See, my dad had an affair with best his friend's wife, who happened to be my mom's best friend. Ouch, right? This guy is FAR from my best friend; he's an acquaintance at best.

So, I'm the kind of person that doesn't believe anything is impossible, cause I've seen it first hand. I believe friendships between men and women can work, but I also think they have the potential of being extremely insidious (slow-moving slippery slopes). So, prolonged exposure to this guy is extemely unpalatable to me.

So there is an issue with memories from your past due to a situation between your parents.

Remember that the relationship between you and your partner is not the same and not destined to go down the same road.

This is where you have to resolve the concerns.

If your partner is not just ending the story at, "The guy at work said....etc etc...." and saying what she did in response, you have to take her word.

Especially if she has never done anything in the past which should cause concern in such situations with men who hit on her or flirt with her.

I think your wife handled herself admirably. I probably would have said the same since I would have been caught extremely caught off guard. The response isn't always to be rude back to someone, especially in an office environment. I think that I would trust her to handle herself admirably.

Remember that the relationship between you and your partner is not the same and not destined to go down the same road.

This is where you have to resolve the concerns.

It certainly could go down the same road and the OP would be wise to make sure his wife knows he has clear boundaries. For example, I don't think any kind of friendship with this guy would be appropriate given what he has done already. I don't think his wife has crossed any reasonable boundary here, but if this guy persists she will need to deal with him firmly and make it clear the feelings are not mutual.

This happens more often than you think. Sometimes, the other party would flat out hit on you without saying "if you weren't taken...". Some people have no respect for the committed relationship, and that reflects poorly on that person. If you two trust each other, then there's nothing to worry about. It would be even more worrying if she didn't tell you.