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Thread: I need some advice about my situation

  1. #1
    Bronze Member Anusha's Avatar
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    I need some advice about my situation

    Hi all,it have been a while since I last posted.Anyway my situation with that guy from my last posts became a bit complicated.It turned out that his "aunt" was actualy his wife like some of you suspected.My parents found that out when investigating him(cause they thought he was exploting me for money) and told me.I talked to him and he confessed and he apologized saying he just hided it cause he didnt want to lose me.By then I had fall so deep for him already that I just acepted it(stupid I know but I couldnt help it)

    My parents threatned to tell it all to his wife if he didnt stop seeing me and since he didnt,they told her.Things got a bit shaky between us after that and we stoped seeing each other for about a month(even though he would call me once a week).After that time we started going out again but it was very complicated to hide cause my parents had got together with his wife to watch us,so every time she suspected that he was with me she would call my parents and ask if I was home and vive versa.The last time we meet his wife caught us.She got his mobile when he went to shower and saw his call to me.She got really angry and called me(I didnt answer) and texted me too.

    About 2 days later she called again and I answered this time.I denied that I was with him and I said that indeed he had called me but it was just to wish happy birthday(it was my birthday that day) but said that I havent meet him and that I was out with my friends.She didnt seem to believe much and even said I could have him and for me to help her to take him out from the house.The week after all that he was all weird with me,he wouldnt call me like he used to and when I called he seemed on a rush to hang up.He said it was because of all that happened but I said there was other ways he could contact me without risking to be caught again like from a paid phone,lend somebodies mobile or even call my other number that his wife didnt know.

    He came with all kind of excuses like saying there was no paid phone near his work or that he didnt know my other number(!!!!).I had gave the number to him about a month before so how he didnt have it I dont know.He even told me to not call him anymore besides the day of our next date(what would be a week or more later yet).I didnt like all that and felt like he was playing with me.So the following week I decided to call his wife and tell the whole true.I tried calling him first let him know what I was about to do and explain why but his mobile was of.What made me think even more that he was avoiding me since that was the day we usualy called(and I dont think his batery was of or anything like that either cause it stayed of pretty much all day).

    Anyway I called his wife I told her we had meet on my birthday and some of his other lies(like that he lies the time he leaves work,that he hints on other girls,that he went out with other girls besides me and so on).She then said "Why just now you decided to tell it all? He dumped you is that it?" So as you can see the whole thing backfired and I end up helping him instead cause now she thinks he dumped me she probably will forgive him and give him another chance.Plus a while later I started to get some few ofensive texts that later on I found out was from her sister's mobile,so instead of geting angry at him she got angry at ME.

    Anyway now that some time had passed and my anger had went down a litle,I have tried to contact him to explain why I did all that but he wont answer.His main number is always of(what makes me think that he doesnt use it anymore) and when I call on his other number he wont answer.I tried texting too but got nothing back.I might confess that I have felt a litle guilty for what I have done(althought I think he deserved for playing me) and I kept second guessing myself about he playing me the week after his wife caught us.What if he really was like that because of all that happened and I just got it all wrong? All I wanted was to be able to talk to him to ask all that Im wondering about and explain why I did all that but like I said he wont answer.What you all think I should do?
    Last edited by HeartGoesOn; 03-10-2012 at 09:24 PM. Reason: Added paragraphs

  2. #2
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    please save your money and go to therapy. you're obsessing over a married man who wants nothing to do with you. Please, learn to love yourself more and insist on better. you will never be happy as long as you don't want better for yourself.

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    You are wasting your time.....and all of the above that annie24 said..

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    Anusha, give it up! This man cheated on his wife with you. He would cheat on you if you were his wife. [B]He is not a good guy. Please stop wasting your time with him.

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  6. #5
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Anusha, It's been a while since you've posted, and all the signs that he was married were there all along. I wish you would take a step back, and ask yourself why you're willing to settle for a married man.

    Have you given any thought into getting some type of therapy?

  7. #6
    Bronze Member Anusha's Avatar
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    Thanks all for the replies.Yes I have considerated therapy,actualy Im doing it once a week for about 3 months now.It have been really hard to let go,I keep thinking about him and replaying this whole situation on my head all the time.Sometimes I get to the conclusion that he just doesnt care,others I wonder if maybe I wasnt too hasty and got things all wrong.What you all think about the way he was acting on the week after his wife caught us? Was I right to think that he was playing me?

  8. #7
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    What you all think about the way he was acting on the week after his wife caught us? Was I right to think that he was playing me?
    Yes, anyone who chooses to cheat on their spouse is playing you, yet you also have a choice not to participate after knowing full well that he's married.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member thejigsup's Avatar
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    You were a toy, an amusement, an object, a money machine, for him. He never considered you a person with feelings. You were easily discarded. Find a nice, single man who will love you. There is a lot about you to love. First, you have to learn to love yourself. Get going, girl!

  10. #9
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    "When you start rationalizing and accepting a cheater's behaviour/excuses, you start playing a game of how low can you go." ~ Lavenderdove ~


    So it turns out that he is married. Yet the only reaction to this revelation and final proof that he is taking advantage of you doesn't seem to phase you one bit. Instead you are still trying to overanalyze one randam action of his instead of looking at the bigger picture.

    Please stay away from him and work with your therapist to improve your feelings of self worth

  11. #10
    Bronze Member Anusha's Avatar
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    That is how I fell too,I was just a distraction from his marriage when he was bored or stressed with it.Besides a money machine when he needed some money.

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