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Thread: 4 years together, no proposal

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Generation's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by annabelle7777
    I will graduate in may with a law degree and already have a job lined up. He still has 3 more semesters until he gets his mba, but I don't think this is a reason to wait.

    My plan is to move out in August and just explain to him that I am not breaking up, but I just want to live alone. What do you think?
    I personally think it's a reason to wait. On the other hand, say if you spoke to me about it like where is this headed and will I propose, I'll think hard about it and see if that can be done sooner. So have you talked to him about it?

    Also, rings are expensive! And guys (at least myself) like to think of good and unique ways of proposing.


    About moving out, gonna be hard to explain to him, might even break his heart, just cause he might not be able to understand why and why you want to live alone. If you can come up with a better reason.


    So talk to him, see where's he at, see what he thinks about it and take it one step at a time.

  2. #12
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    I wouldn't worry too much. Do you guys have a good relationship? I was with my husband for 5 years, lived together for almost 4, before he proposed. We just got married this past May. I honestly didn't think much of it. I knew we loved each other and would get there one day. If anything, I almost wasn't sure if I was ready to get MARRIED. And I am just 2 years younger than you. And don't take this as me trying to tell you how to feel or anything, i'm just speaking from MY own perception and situation. Good luck either way! And like people have said, talk to him. And please, don't give up just yet.

  3. #13
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    It was a huge compromise, but since he moved from europe to the US because of me, I felt bad saying "I don't want to live with you."

  4. #14
    Platinum Member FathomFear's Avatar
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    It seems like you're being a little passive aggressive. I wouldn't play games here and move out just to get him to do what you want. If you want to get married, you should discuss it. I think the more troubling issue is not that he hasn't proposed, but that you're saying that you never talk about it. That could be a sign you don't have good lines of communication.

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  6. #15
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    He moved to the US for you, you live together...?? I mean, I think a serious conversation is 3 years overdue!!!

  7. #16
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    Hi scared and alone,

    Congrats on your marriage!
    We do have a great relationship. I think he is the perfect boyfriend- always romantic, always understanding of my busy schedule, always fun to be with! In fact, he was sad yesterday because i did not get him a valentine card ( just a gift)
    Again, thanks for your help and support! It really helps
    Last edited by annabelle7777; 02-15-2012 at 11:51 PM.

  8. #17
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    annie,

    you are 100% right, but I always thought that marriage was a sure thing. I just assumed that if he is taking such a big step, he loves me and wants to get married.

  9. #18
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    Hi generation,
    I don't really care about a ring. I know it may sound unusual, but I will be ok with just a proposal and no ring.

    FathomFear,

    We talk about everything, but marriage

    btw my bf is currently watching a movie (which has a lot of jokes about marriage and how men don't want to commit). Isn't that ironic
    Last edited by annabelle7777; 02-16-2012 at 12:02 AM.

  10. #19
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    you don't know that he doesn't want to get married! He obviously loves you enough to move for you. Just give him time! Guys are different. Sometimes they just need time. Just be patient! And I am also like you, I didn't give a crap about a ring. All I wanted to know was that he really loved me and wanted to be with me. I think you just need to not over think this. Just enjoy your relationship and give him a chance. Whatever happens next will come naturally Bottom line is, if you guys love each other enough, it will work out. Don't over think the proposal, marriage thing. The important thing is your commitment to each other and how you feel about each other. If you guys really love each other and dedicated to each other, that is in the end, all that really matters. A ring and ceremony is just an in the moment heart warming thing. It's what day to day, not a huge ceremony of your love, that REALLY matters.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Fudgie's Avatar
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    annabelle,

    I would definitely talk to him. Just muster up that courage, sit him down when you're both relaxed and comfortable, and have a talk. Ask him what he thinks about marriage and if he sees it in his future.

    This talk is long overdue and you need to have it. I'm a little saddened to hear that you find it difficult to talk to him about such big issues.

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