This isn't a big deal, maybe I just need to vent, but I figured I'd ask--how do you deal with gifts from a partner that are not to your taste? Obviously I thank the person and hide any indication of disappointment, but how is he supposed to learn what I like if I give him the false impression that I like things I don't?
My tastes are simple. I like roses. I've told husband this. Told him just to go to the grocery store and buy an un-vased bouquet of a dozen roses and bring them home, I'll trim them and put them in a vase we already have. It's easy and it's a way to get a beautiful dozen roses cheaper than if you paid for a pre-made arrangement (much cheaper.) You would think a man would like such simple direction and a woman providing him with a way to save money while making her happy.
I like red roses or those multi-colored ones that are orange or pink with red rims--I've told him this. And I've told him that pink is not my favorite color anymore, and that red is. And yet today I get a pre-vased arrangement of mostly pink flowers, with a couple red roses. Not only that but they've got some extremely-strong-smelling flower in them that just REEKS, giving me a headache already--roses do not do this. I already thanked him and said they were beautiful, and I'll continue to thank him and be sweet to him today, but this is getting frustrating--what I want is so simple. I want a dozen roses, either red or the multi colored ones, and a box of gaudily wrapped chocolates. (I've directly told him about how I like the gaudy chocolate boxes.) Last week, when he asked me what I wanted to do for Valentine's Day, I said, "I want to look at beautiful flowers that you gave me and eat chocolates. Should I buy these things for myself?" I was trying to give him an easy way out. I honestly wouldn't have resented it if I'd have had to buy these things for myself--it's that big of a deal that I just want a pretty dozen roses and a heart-shaped box of chocolates. But he said no, he'd take care of it.
I love my husband, and as the day goes on I'll like this arrangement more and more because it came from him. But still, I'm just frustrated. Us women are always accused of being all irrational, hard to figure out, and here is a case where I have directly laid out what I want, and it seems like he wasn't paying any attention. I don't want to be ungrateful, but at the same time, I want what I want. It's not a big deal, I can just go out and buy it myself, but if I do that now it's going to look like a massively insensitive move. So once again...here I am on Valentine's Day wanting for ONCE IN MY LIFE to get what I actually want.
And it pisses me off because every year there's those stupid news articles advising men not to get roses, because they're too cliche or whatever. WHATEVER. Roses are the classic Valentine's Day flower for a REASON. They are the most beautiful flower, they keep their shape, their colors are incredibly deep...but I guess husband decided to take the advice of some web article over the words of his wife? It's just that he's NEVER ASKED what I like. I've told him, yes, but apparently he's forgotten--and yet he doesn't just ask me. I'd tell him straight up 100% what I want and I feel like a loving husband should take the time to figure out what flowers his wife likes--good grief, we've been together for five years now, it seems like he should know, but he apparently has no clue.
I guess I just needed to vent, because I feel I already know what I have to do--grin and bear it, be thankful, and accept that I may never get what I want for Valentine's Day. Still, it's freaking frustrating because why should I be touched by a bouquet of flowers that, had he been thinking, he'd have known I wouldn't really like? I want to be more direct with him because this is stupid. He's wasting his money, honestly. He could spend half as much and make me twice as happy--he basically paid to give his wife a headache. Should I just give up? Can anyone else relate just to make me feel a little better?