The Case of the mean girls..Need help!

The Case of the Mean Girls: What if they are family?

Well, I really need a response to this because I am grieving and I am hurt beyond words. To make a long story short. I stepped out of my “ old-fashioned strict religious world” for a moment to be with my in-laws who are not blood relatives, but who are family.

I experienced a weird phenomenon, my boy cousin in-laws were very receptive of my presence. I often offered words of wisdom, encouragement, and unconditional love and support. My cousins in-laws and my aunts…………. world was “dark”…”void of any form of light” (drug infested, violent to the max, I could make a rated R movie about it). Nonetheless, I felt compelled to be with them, and just share Gods love persay.

In sum, although I was nice to all, when I would walk in the room (with my long skirt, long sleeved shirt, and with a smile), I was looked at as if I was a marshin from the moon The girl cousins who were my friends before changed, as they became friends with their brothers girlfriends who hated me. One minute, they would tell me that they never met someone so kind etc, the next one would say : you are not really family….I don’t know why my neices and nephew call you Auntie…or why you do so much for them etc…just mean things. I would call them, they wouldn’t answer their phone.

My aunt (their mom passed), all the girl cousins spoke to me ( which I was shocked beyond belief), I gave them all a sympathy gift from the heart. I facebooked them 2 weeks later, just checkin on them and there was no response. However, one of my cousins sisters just flat out wont talk to me, and she is just really rude to me. Only at one point in the funeral when she saw me crying did she speak. I just hi.

Anywayz, I am writing to get over it. I need to grieve this thing it out of my spirit so that I can move forward. I am not going to elaborate on foolishness. I never wronged them, I never disrespected them, they even admitted that I am a very nice person.

So why in the world were they being so mean to me? I need to process this.

people are mean to people they think they can be mean to. so just stand up for yourself!

If they are being mean, then show them kindness, but if they continue to be mean or get worse, don't be a glutton for punishment. In other words, be kind to them when you are around but don't go out of your way to seek it out. Sometimes some folks don't understand how other people can be happy and it bugs them. Its dissonant to them. Some people decide one person is the scapegoat. Some peopel are just mean because they are unhappy with themselves and do it to everyone. So, you have been kind, now just sit back and live your life. It will either dawn on them someday that you must be doing something right since you are happy and they realize you are not. Or not. I guess what really is best is to not take any of it personally. People do weird things when theygrieve also.

Thank you all both for your advice I really appreciate it. Its exactly what I needed . I feel that I should stick up for myself , but at the same time if it is going to continue then why would I want to be "friends" with them? Because my aunt died and these were her family members, I am trying to grieve both her loss and the loss of my relationships that I had with them..so that I can move forward. So thank you.

Anyone else have any advice or insight ?????????????????????