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Did you ever have a feeling that your story isn't over with your ex?


rebellefleur

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My healing has been incredible lately (KNOCK ON WOOD!). I've finally taken all of the productive steps. I deactivated facebook and made my other social networking sites private. I've started working out, i'm really busy with school work, have spent time with family, etc. I'm on day 3 of NC, and while i was tempted to contact him yesterday after finding out something that made me angry, i didn't.

 

I don't think about him as much. I mean, don't get me wrong i still think about him or us at least every half hour but not for long, it's like a fleeting thought and that's it. I do have some bad bouts of missing him, but they don't get me down like they used to. I'm not sure what's going on with me but i hope this isn't a fake feeling or coming from the wrong incentives. This it the first time since my long rollercoaster ride of a break up that i've felt okay, that i've accepted it's over for now, and that i'm content with just...myself.

 

However, i still get this feeling that it's not over for us. I feel like our future may bring us back, i'm not sure. I don't know, maybe it's just false hope. I know if he found someone else, i'd be crushed, so maybe it's just me unconsciously hoping things turn out for the best between us. It's not an obsessive though or something i dwell on, just a feeling.

 

Anyone ever feel like this? Has anyone ever felt like this and their feeling was right/wrong? Just curious...

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I sometimes get this feeling. It's hard to tell, since our families are still good friends.

Although we now go to different schools and it's only been a few months, I don't think the story is over just yet.

Maybe, maybe not. Only time will tell. Even if it isn't, who's to say it's positive?

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I definitely can relate to how your feeling. The moment she left me I felt it wasn't truly over. She left me for another guy and has been in two relationships since we broke up 5 months ago. I started to work on me and stuck to NC. I didn't dwell on the feeling that I felt which was that I truly believed me and the ex would be back in each other lifes again. This feeling was so intense I can't describe it. I even started eventually dating but none of the girls panned out. None of the relationships for the ex worked out either. I truly believe me and her are meant to be. Well let's fast forward to today. We are now taking things slow. We hang out regulary laugh and have only good times. We hold hands cuddle and kiss from time to time no sex because we both want it to work this time. She tells me she only sees herself spending her life with me how much she misses me when were not together and how happy she is that we are trying again. It's crazy but this breakup has seemed to bring us closer and seems we both now appreciate what we had together so much more. We are not official but I am confident we will be and happier then ever before. So that feeling you have well I had it too and seems my gut instinct was right. I didn't force anything with her I let her go and moved on started dating stayed out of her relationships but for some reason none of the girls I dated and the guys she dated worked out. I am now believing in the saying if it's meant to be it will be.

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When I first met my ex I definitely had that "he's the one" feeling. I was certain of it. We dated off and on, then became best friends. Even when we dated others, we always found our way back to each other. Somehow, I always knew he was the one. We finally became "official" 16 years ago, but it ended last year with the revelation that he was never in love with me.

I have always trusted my intuition, my gut feelings about things. Now my feeling is that there is going to come a day when my ex regrets his decision and it will be too late because I no longer want to be with him. And do you know what is really strange? During all those years when we were happy together, I would often have these dreams/nightmares where he was begging me to come back to him and I wouldn't. I would wake up and think, what the heck was that? I would even tell him about those strange dreams I was having. Of course, I don't know it it will ever happen, it's just a feeling I have about him. I just know that I have left him behind for good.

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First off, congratulations on your progress. I've read several of your posts, so I am glad to hear that things are turning around for the better. Keep your strength!

 

Second, I have these feelings, too. I don't know if it is false hope or what it is. But for whatever reason, I get the sense that our romance was an unfulfilled, yet lingering one, and that the possibility will always be present. For whatever reason, something is different about her vis-a-vis my other romantic endeavors. I do not recall having these feelings with previous romances, but I will concede that I may have forgotten about those feelings if they were present about previous exes.

 

That being said, I have no choice but to operate under the assumption that it is merely false hope, and that I have to move on. I cannot and will not wait.

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I have that feeling as well. I think it probably has a lot to do with the fact that the chemistry was so strong between us. The romance, affection, and sexual attraction were so high that it is just strange that we are not together anymore. Those things went away in the other relationships I have had, so that is why I think I feel different about this one.

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To all of you- was the break up a mutual, respectful one or did any of you have a messy break up where harsh things were said?

 

I'm wondering if these feelings or reconciliations ever happen after harsh break ups? Mine has been pretty messy with a lot of ups and downs in between and disappointments.

 

I don't know, maybe it is just false hope.

 

Beachwrangler, i do love your story though! I'm glad you were strong enough to accept things as they were and move on at the time. That's the stage i've reached. I want to just accept things for now and worry about myself. I wish you the best of luck and i hope things turn out!

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Something my mother said to me one time while I was driving with her (my mom) while I was still with my ex always stuck with me.

She said to me, out of the blue, 'I wish you'd met J later in your life.' When I asked her why, she said, 'Because you make each other happy, yet you're still so young. If you'd met later, maybe it could be permanent.'

While it sorta got on my nerves that she implied that it wasn't going to last forever since we were young, I believe that in a way, she was right. So who knows, maybe the story isn't quite over yet.

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Something my mother said to me one time while I was driving with her (my mom) while I was still with my ex always stuck with me.

She said to me, out of the blue, 'I wish you'd met J later in your life.' When I asked her why, she said, 'Because you make each other happy, yet you're still so young. If you'd met later, maybe it could be permanent.'

While it sorta got on my nerves that she implied that it wasn't going to last forever since we were young, I believe that in a way, she was right. So who knows, maybe the story isn't quite over yet.

 

I always think of this. My ex and i are fairly young (23) and i was his first girlfriend at 22. Even if all the fights and bad stuff didn't pull us apart i feel like eventually a break up would have been coming because, especially in this day and age, what guy that young really stays with the same girl forever? It happens yes, but it's rare. Timing really is everything, it really is.

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Something my mother said to me one time while I was driving with her (my mom) while I was still with my ex always stuck with me.

She said to me, out of the blue, 'I wish you'd met J later in your life.' When I asked her why, she said, 'Because you make each other happy, yet you're still so young. If you'd met later, maybe it could be permanent.'

While it sorta got on my nerves that she implied that it wasn't going to last forever since we were young, I believe that in a way, she was right. So who knows, maybe the story isn't quite over yet.

 

My ex's best friend said this to me after we broke up. It really doesn't matter. It's been a year and a half now, and she's still the same person. So don't sit there and hope.

 

I think the "it's not over, I feel it" thing IMO is just holding onto hope. Whether or not you choose to do this, it's up to you. Just know that nothing is for certain, and I believe that you need to completely detach before you heal.

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My ex's best friend said this to me after we broke up. It really doesn't matter. It's been a year and a half now, and she's still the same person. So don't sit there and hope.

 

I think the "it's not over, I feel it" thing IMO is just holding onto hope. Whether or not you choose to do this, it's up to you. Just know that nothing is for certain, and I believe that you need to completely detach before you heal.

 

Nah, I'm not waiting for anything. It's been 5 months since we broke up, 3 since I last said anything to her.

Plus, we no longer attend the same school, so I'll never see her. Both of us have moved on in our lives, and accepted that the chapter is over.

Life is too short to wait around for someone who doesn't want to be with you.

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Nah, I'm not waiting for anything. It's been 5 months since we broke up, 3 since I last said anything to her.

Plus, we no longer attend the same school, so I'll never see her. Both of us have moved on in our lives, and accepted that the chapter is over.

Life is too short to wait around for someone who doesn't want to be with you.

 

If you say so. If you truly don't have any hope in the back of your mind, good for you.

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Yes, I feel like that. It's the only reason I came to this site, so I could process it all.

 

We have a "connection" that I cannot deny. As much as I thought we were over, I kept coming back to that. Whenever we see each other or talk, something "clicks" with us. And trust me, there were many things in our R that needed to be worked on. That is why I walked away. But it didn't last long.

 

Our BU was friendly and respectful, and we didn't burn any bridges. It's been 6 months since the BU. I had a brief R with another guy, but that is over. I wasn't over my exBF.

 

Unfortunately he is now talking to another lady (a LDR), so there is not an opportunity to get back together.

 

I hold out hope for us someday, but all because of that "connection" that I cannot shake (believe me I tried!) I'm doing my best to move forward in life, and I'm not waiting. But I am not opposed to reconciliation either (not yet anyway).

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This thread reminds me of the scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark in which Indy shows up at Marion's bar after not having seen her for 10 years.

I myself don't think there's anything wrong with thinking you're not done with an ex, just so long as it doesn't keep you from doing other things (or other people ).

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So many kindred spirits on this thread. Yeah, me too. I have that feeling our story isn't over, and I've never felt that about any of my past relationships.

 

Since I can't write the next chapter about "us" by myself and there may never be another chapter anyway, I've been taking a hard look at myself and my history to try to understand why this one feels so different. But, yes, it feels very different.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I didn't feel that way with my first or second ex but I feel that way with my most recent ex for some reason. I can't say that we're meant to be or anything like that, but I have this feeling that we will make amends (or something like that) somewhere down the road. He's younger than me so he still has a lot of growing up to do.

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trying very hard to not think about it. my dad's made a comment about my ex and i, and his insight about things has always been spot on.

 

this time... i hope he's wrong. it's too hard. i'm moving on and i'm okay and valentine's day didn't hit so hard but still. i still have my down days. i miss him.

 

better days ahead always.

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I had that same feeling too a year ago, after I broke up with him after I found some questionable text messages on his cell phone. For the past 1.5 years before that, he was throwing the whole "I'm not ready for a commitment" card in my face. He tried to break up with me a few times, but I always insisted we could work on things and we stayed together. While I thought we could work on things, I could never shake the feeling that he didn't want to commit to me, he might have been playing the field behind my back, and that there was something else going on. Eventually, I forgave him after finding the text messages and we got back together, but a year later, he dumped me because he couldn't handle us working on our issues together. That was after I found the nude pictures he was receiving from other girls and he was still meeting up with his ex behind my back. And he had the nerve to dump ME.

 

Sooo...yes, I followed my gut feeling that it wasn't over with my ex. And 2.5 years later here I am. He ended up breaking my heart in more ways that I could never imagine before.

 

They act like jerks because they don't want to work on things. If they really wanted to keep you, they would never treat you like garbage to begin with. Just my two cents...

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  • 7 years later...

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