2 Gf's only 1 of me HELP!

Ok, So I been seeing 2 diffrent women over the course of 3 years and I love and care about both of these girls dearly. Now before everyone thinks Im an inconsiderate pig hear me out cause i need some good advice. Neither of them know about each other and Losing either one of them would kill me, but I know this cant go on forever and Im just hurting myself and other people in the process. Ive asked friends and their all the player types and are like just let it ride. Its Hard to let something ride when your heart is on the line. I have thought about telling them but that would risk them both leaving me. i can see my self with both of these women in my future. Its almost impossible for me to choose one since their both so close to me. This was all done completely on accident and the guilt is honestly making me an emotional wreck and tearing me apart. So all advice will be awsome.

End both of them. You're screwed either way. Say you pick one and end the other, eventually the one you picked will find out and then it will end even worse than ending it now.

My advice is to break up with both of them. Tell them what you did and end it. That way, they can move on without being horribly scarred. Make it as quick and painless as possible. Do not take either of them back and remove yourself from their lives totally.

Short of doing all of that, you would deserve every ounce of guilt you feel.

3 years and neither found out? Props man you must be a genius at lying

Ending both of them is a little easier said then done since I love them both a lot. >.>

Oh I love how your whole post basically consisted of 'mememememe'. Observe the bolded.

Ok, So I been seeing 2 diffrent women over the course of 3 years and I love and care about both of these girls dearly. Now before everyone thinks Im an inconsiderate pig hear me out cause i need some good advice. Neither of them know about each other and Losing either one of them would kill me, but I know this cant go on forever and Im just hurting myself and other people in the process. Ive asked friends and their all the player types and are like just let it ride. Its Hard to let something ride when your heart is on the line. I have thought about telling them but that would risk them both leaving me. i can see my self with both of these women in my future. Its almost impossible for me to choose one since their both so close to me. This was all done completely on accident and the guilt is honestly making me an emotional wreck and tearing me apart. So all advice will be awsome.

There are no such thing as accidental cheating lol. And if you had any remaining decency you would come clean.

Both of them deserve so much better. I feel so sorry for them -_-.

These types of things don't happen by 'accident' you've always had a choice. If I were you I'd end both of them if you had any respect whatsoever for either of them.

Honestly? I think you only love yourself. You didn't even mention once being afraid of how they feel or how this will effect them. It was all about you.

You like how they make you feel about yourself. You don't know the first thing about love if this is your idea of it.

I actually can't fathom lying like this daily for 3 years? Man I could never pull it off lol.

Don't take any of this the wrong way Im here asking for help not to be talked down to.

i feel sorry for them too believe me. Its hard honestly to talk to them with me felling awful about myself. I didnt think it would last this long and next thing i knew Im caught up i this.

@Brian~Nope never lied. Just very good at convincing people.

You need to think about the lies you've told, how selfish you've been to do this and how both relationships are built on deceit and therefore not healthy. You need to break up with them botha nd see a therapist to deal with the aftermath and to learn why you would do this.

I actually had this happen to me. Five years later the other girl contacted me. She had developed an eating disorder after it had happened and was still profoundly effected. I was unable to feel emotionally close to anybody for a long period of time. I felt *horrible* that they only person who had been close to me in my life, so severely broke my trust.

So no.. don't feel any sympathy for your potential loss. -_-'

I actually can't fathom lying like this daily for 3 years? Man I could never pull it off lol.

I didn't lie I'm just a very trustworthy person to them >.>

I actually had this happen to me. Five years later the other girl contacted me. She had developed an eating disorder after it had happened and was still profoundly effected. I was unable to feel emotionally close to anybody for a long period of time. I felt *horrible* that they only person who had been close to me in my life, so severely broke my trust.

 

So no.. don't feel any sympathy for your potential loss. -_-'

I honestly wouldn't expect any women to feel sorry for me what so ever.

If you let them be under the impression that you are an in exclusive relationship OR that they are your girlfriend (unless you specifically said it is an open relationship) you lied.

You need to think about the lies you've told, how selfish you've been to do this and how both relationships are built on deceit and therefore not healthy. You need to break up with them botha nd see a therapist to deal with the aftermath and to learn why you would do this.

Your right I was selfish and now im trying to fix this.

If I tell them and 1 says they would stay with me should I stay with them??

I honestly wouldn't expect any women to feel sorry for me what so ever.

Do you expect any men to feel sorry for you either? I have a feeling many of them would be offended if that is what you expect.

LOL but you did. You know lying includes omission of the truth. And I'm sure you lied about your whereabouts and why you were busy a specific day or night. People usually get so screwed up after the cheating not cos of the cheating itself, but bc of the fact they knew they were lied to. Lies hurt. I can imagine both girls have big fat emotional issues after this.

Didn't you post about this a couple days ago? Uk vs French girl?

Anyway, same advice. You need to make sure these women understand that you are not exclusively seeing either one of them. However I don't know any woman who would stay i a relationship with a man however on and off it be for three years without an exclusive commitment. You need to clear your head most likely by distancing yourself from both of them and find yourself. It's not fair to them or you to go on like this.

For your own well being I think it would be good to move on from them both and take time out to recouperate, and to learn from this, go to therapy and when your ready enter a new, healthy relationship built on honesty and love, and monogamy.

If you let them be under the impression that you are an in exclusive relationship OR that they are your girlfriend (unless you specifically said it is an open relationship) you lied.

My intentions from the beginning was for them both to be open relationships but then i started developing these feelings for them. its human nature nothing u can do about that.

its weird since I've always been the typical Athlete guy who Just hooks up with women and look what happens I end up screwing myself and 2 others over.

I actually had this happen to me. Five years later the other girl contacted me. She had developed an eating disorder after it had happened and was still profoundly effected. I was unable to feel emotionally close to anybody for a long period of time. I felt *horrible* that they only person who had been close to me in my life, so severely broke my trust.

 

So no.. don't feel any sympathy for your potential loss. -_-'

Yeah all thanks to that one ex, I have issues with trust and my emotions are screwed up alot.

I also feel numb to everything. It's like my heart has never truly repaired itself.

Don't take any of this the wrong way Im here asking for help not to be talked down to.

 

i feel sorry for them too believe me. Its hard honestly to talk to them with me felling awful about myself. I didnt think it would last this long and next thing i knew Im caught up i this.

 

@Brian~Nope never lied. Just very good at convincing people.

Very good at convincing people? I hate the term narcissist because honestly it gets thrown around by emotionally weak people at people who don't deserve the title but you are the epitome of a narcissist.

As for the responses, man we give advice to people who get their hearts broken, you're the guy that breaks them. But yeah my advice is to tell both of them and afterwards leave them the hell alone. You say you're scared to lose them both but your also a man and for the sake of your pride as a man; I say do whats right and face the consequences of your action, learn from them so if your lucky enough to find another woman who'll love you for 3 years, you won't lose her.

Good luck man, dont pull this * * * * again, next time come back on this forum and ask for us to tell you not to cheat.

Didn't you post about this a couple days ago? Uk vs French girl?

 

Anyway, same advice. You need to make sure these women understand that you are not exclusively seeing either one of them. However I don't know any woman who would stay i a relationship with a man however on and off it be for three years without an exclusive commitment. You need to clear your head most likely by distancing yourself from both of them and find yourself. It's not fair to them or you to go on like this.

Nope Just Joined this site.

Well either way its a relationship advice forum.

And I do appreciate you guys telling me how to go about this. Im just trying to find the most simple way.