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Thread: My girlfriend is kind of boring.. why are my feelings fading?

  1. #11
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    570
    Actually to me, it sounds like you guys DO have a really great connection....but she has just gotten into a rut in life where she has forgotten about her passions and instead is choosing to just wait it out until she can have kids and then make that her passion. And I don't really blame her--it's tough to make it in this world and hold on to your humanity. Succumbing to TV watching is unfortunately what happens to a lot of people. And when you've got a couple dogs around, and a nice guy like you...it's really easy to do. I think the best thing for you to do is to look at the situation realistically. You have a connection, you are attracted to each other, she treats you well, and you obviously love her. Those are the raw ingredients for a good relationship so don't throw it away. Instead talk to her about how her life is going. Try to find out what she is waiting for. My guess is, she is just waiting to have kids and that will give her a sense of purpose. Honestly, that's not a bad thing necessarily. I think you should start an honest dialogue about what she wants out of life, and try to find out whether you want to be in that picture. And to be perfectly frank, it sounds like you guys need a community around you. Any local churches you could join? Often when people get into a rut, it is because there is no outside input or accountability to anyone.

    Also, don't be afraid to do your own thing sometimes. If you want to go off surfing for the weekend, tell her about it in advance and see if she wants to come. If not, you should still go. This might cause her to realize that she is sitting at home watching TV while you are out having fun, and it may cause a shift in her perceptions.

  2. #12
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    1,208
    People who say someone else is boring tend to be pretty boring themselves. What are you doing that is interesting? Do you expect her to entertain you or turn into a train wreck so you would have some interesting drama to tend to?

    Normal relationships are kind of boring at times but stable.

    You can always find someone with a meth addiction, 10 kids and several abusive exs to liven things up for you!

  3. #13
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    North America
    Age
    31
    Posts
    126
    Gender
    Male
    This is a really common problem. The analogy I like to use is relationships are like train tracks, and the partners are trains - if your tracks run parallel then enjoy the ride together! If not, no big deal. But of course if you derail your train to be with someone it's going to get you down.

    It makes sense that you're not excited - look at your life before you met her and now look at it after. Plus the whole thought of commitment probably makes you feel even MORE down because it takes you even further away from where you want to be. You need to readjust your lifestyle and find a way to incorporate the things you love and the lifestyle you want with this person, and if you can't do that, consider finding someone else.

    Good luck!

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