"Acceptance" is upon me...

Happy New Year my friends!!

I am writing this for those you are just about to get on "The Rollercoaster of Heartbreak"

It's gonna be a bumpy ride but one day it will stop and you will be able to get off....

I been on it for the last 4 months...I’m now at the point of “Acceptance" I’ve been through the horrible stages, Anger, Resentment, Hate and even thought of Revenge, to my shame ….. The waking up in the morning with that burning agonizing ache inside of me (you all know what that's like I’m sure) not nice!!

Waited for the messages, nope didn't come..no birthday message, no late night "i miss you's", no early morning "good morning baby" message, me constantly checking my phone, no email saying he made a mistake, he needs me in his life...

I've done the NC, the LC (after i initiated contact) we spoke on the phone, he seemed happy to talk to me, got my hopes up, thought that his last text messages meant he still wanted me, maybe we could work it out...nope!! Just those good old "false hope" messages referred to as "breadcrumbs"....

Well… I woke up today, no acid burning pain inside me, although he was still there in my mind, he's a lot further away now, a little more in my distant memory...I’ve by no means stopped loving him, I’ve just got to the point where i know that me holding on will get me nowhere...it's a new year and i can't live in the past, I’m moving forward...

To all the ENAers that are just starting out on this journey...it will get better, it may not seem like it now but i promise it will, you have to go through all the emotions first, you can't get away from them, no matter how hard you try to push them away, it's gonna hurt..(My god is it!!) but it will make you a stronger, better person for it i can assure you..I’m not saying give up hope of ever reconciling, that hope right now is your crutch, it's what will get you through each day, i know it has me, I myself have not given up hope, hope for me has just changed, I hope one day we will be together again but it’s not my be all and end all anymore…..

I don't know where I would be right now without this site...i want to say a big thanks to the people that helped me, through their PMs and Personal stories...you have all give me the strength to get to where i am today, we are all wonderful people...love to you all

As i say below: The future may hold promise unimagined today....i now finally believe that.

loulou x

SuperDave TierdTiger CrapAtNC Learning2Relax

Nice post Lou and all very true.

Happy new year to you

Steve x

fabulous lou to wake up feel ok with stuff ....

good for you girl

loulou- I am pretty much there too, or close to it. I have been through all those stages too with more crying in the last few months than I have ever done in my whole life.

I'm just feeling free and that I will be happy again. I have accepted it too..It took awhile to see the whole relationship clearly but I have learned so much!

I am doing things that make me feel good: working out, yoga, quiet walks and cuddling with the pets. I set a goal to make a thousand origami cranes for the good luck they bring.

I know I will talk to my ex again one day. I got the closure I needed by my Christmas time email... I am sure I do not want to be with someone who doesnt want to be with me. Its all good...

Life moves on and I know I will be OK...

I am happy you are finally at peace.... Best wishes for a fabulous New Year!

It's a good feeling eh bluerose ....love and peace to you...and i hope this year brings you all the happiness you deserve

loulou x

Nice post Lou and all very true.

 

Happy new year to you

Steve x

hi steve, i've read some of your past posts...i hope this is the year that you can finally move on...much love to you my friend

loulou x

This makes me very happy! Thank you for sharing loulou, I wish you all the best for 2012!

This makes me very happy! Thank you for sharing loulou, I wish you all the best for 2012!

 

hey hodge!! i hope all is well with you hunny...happy new year!