Ever have your ex come back when you thought they never would?

I was wondering if anyone had an ex come back when they thought they never would. What about an ex who said they thought they wanted to date other people but still came back?

Does it happen? Sometimes. Should you count on it? No.

Yes, they left me for someone else. 4 months down the line, and after 2 months NC, she came back. Got back together for 2 years, they left for someone else again. I don't recommend it.

My first ex came back, but it was once i was pretty much fully healed- aka a year later. We had a messy break up and he was really adamant about leaving, and a huge jerk about it. We got back together but history repeated itself. It's always nice at first because it's like you're falling in love again but it doesn't last, if two people haven't really changed much on their own and they come back together, the same bad stuff is bound to happen.

You have to think about if you really even want them back. If someone is so strict on not wanting you back or in their lives- if they're really okay without you, then why would you even want that? Find someone who sticks with you, who fights for you, and who you don't have to spend every day hoping for. Easier said than done, i'm in the same position but at the same time i'm mature enough to know that relationships have hard moments, and i know that i would put any effort in to someone if i loved them enough, i could never walk away.

Maybe love wasn't enough for them- either way it's their loss. They may come back, they may not, but you have to look inside yourself at the same time and ask yourself if it's what you really want or if it's just something that makes you comfortably happy.

my ex came back.. but nothing really changed.. she still is in and out of my life.. saying she loves me..

they need to change and relize what they lost for it to work..

my ex came back.. but nothing really changed.. she still is in and out of my life.. saying she loves me..

 

they need to change and relize what they lost for it to work..

and for the record, they rarely ever change. people in general hardly ever change and that's something i believe. they never want to take the blame or realize they have faults too.

Don't hang onto hope in any form JLKLEE. You are planting seeds of pain that you will harvest someday when you realize you've been hoping for several months that she'd come to her senses and come crawling back, and then one day you see her smooching with a new guy....you will be crushed. Hope is now your enemy. Pretend she's dead. Don't even try to keep tabs on her. It will keep you in limbo.

Amen to that, FreeFallFeelin

I also agree to not holding on to hope. It's incredibly natural and we all do it after we are in a break up. I mean because let's be honest, it would be awesome for you ex to show up on your doorstep in the pouring rain looking pathetic and begging for you back, buuuut unfortunately that doesn't happen. They mostly feel better for awhile after the break up, especially if they're really pushing the idea of NOT being with you. It's hard to convince someone to be with you when they just don't want to, believe me. I've had so many ups and downs and i recently broke NC because i thought maybe if i reach out one last time...and you know what? I found out he's been getting closer with this girl that i KNEW something was up with and it sucks.

Hope sucks, it really does, because it's always going to be there and it makes you think up things like oh maybe they'll show up on my doorstep, maybe they'll call, maybe they'll miss me so much they just can't take it anymore, maybe if i remind them of XY and Z, the memories will make them remember. Nope. Once someone is done, they're basically...done. For a good amount of time anyway. Just think, don't hope. It's better to be surprised than disappointed.

God i should take my own advice.

Two came back but just to get the power. In both cases, I broke up first. They came back, reeled me in, and boom - dumped my sorry ass. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!

I know each situation is different. I've had all my serious exes come back. One guy was 10 years later but didn't really push the issue of getting back together. Another guy I dated about 6 years ago still tells me losing me was his biggest regret. When he found out I'm note single, he said "his loss. I know from experience". The guy before my current ex was with me for 3 1/2 years. We were always on and off because he wasn't ready for me to be last girl he slept with. I understand sexual venture and if he didn't string me along, we probably would have gotten back together. He treated me so bad during the break up, he lost any chance of getting back together. He told me he made such a mistake and thought he was going to marry me and have kids.

My current ex....I just don't think the timing is right. Too much going on in both our lives. I told him if he feels that he needs to date other people to go ahead. Do I think he will? Not really. I'm not going to stick around to wait but I'd be lying if I said I didn't hope things work out.

Generally, if they're willing to walk out of your life for whatever reason, then they'll just keep doing it. Now, as JLK pointed out, there are times when timing impacts a relationship. With so much stress in both individual's lives, it can be a good thing to just stop trying to keep the relationship afloat. Those are probably the best candidates for a 2nd round. Though personally, I feel that people really should try to look ahead a bit before even considering dating. I'll use my life as an example. Last year I was established in a job, I had free-time and started putting more attention into my social life. Started hanging out with friends more, met a girl, hit it off, started dating. Fast forward a year later, relationship is done, trying to get another job and pursue so many other things, I refuse to even consider dating. It's just a bad time, and it wouldn't be fair to a girl to get something going right now when I can't give her hardly any attention. I'd hate to be the person who gets involved with someone, gets them emotionally hooked and then lays the old "I don't have time for a relationship." Most people use that as an easy out for whatever reason, legitimate or fake, but I would rather just avoid that situation altogether.

Yes, I had a difficult break up, dumped by this guy, felt soooo bad. A year later I ran into him by chance. We met for dinner and he was so nervous his hands were shaking. He kept saying I have changed. Well, he was right about me having changed. But that also meant I didn't want him anymore. I have outgrew him through the process. Since he himself didn't change, he wasn't good for me anymore. He wanted to try again and I had to turn him down, which I did not enjoy at all because I still cared about him. When you have really moved on, you don't want the dumper to come crawling back anymore. Believe me, there is no satisfaction in that once you've really moved on.

Yes, I had a difficult break up, dumped by this guy, felt soooo bad. A year later I ran into him by chance. We met for dinner and he was so nervous his hands were shaking. He kept saying I have changed. Well, he was right about me having changed. But that also meant I didn't want him anymore. I have outgrew him through the process. Since he himself didn't change, he wasn't good for me anymore. He wanted to try again and I had to turn him down, which I did not enjoy at all because I still cared about him. When you have really moved on, you don't want the dumper to come crawling back anymore. Believe me, there is no satisfaction in that once you've really moved on.

I've seen this happen. I know that one of my exes wanted me back desperately. If he had just walked away from the break up and did what he needed to do, instead of treating me poorly, I probably would have given him another chance.

My current ex and I ran into problems because I am more established than him and I know he isn't happy with his life. He graduated in 2009 and his plans did not happen and he is in a job he doesnt want to do. His job also ables him to go out, etc while I'm a fresh graduated with a few job offers and my schedule doesn't allow for out time during the week. Our arguments stemmed from us being in different places, not from not having the same views, interests, or compatibility. I'm walking away and left the door open if he feels necessary. I can't deny our chemistry and love but he has to want it to. And not every ex deserves a second chance but not everyone deserves a door in their face either

I've had a few girlfriends over the years drift in and out of my life. It really was never a good scene. In those cases where the girl initiated the original breakup, it was hard for me to be back with that person. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop again............... and it always did. Even when I told myself that I would just get back in for the sex, and not let my emotions come into play, it never worked. Every man is different, but for me, I just couldn't handle the transition from being in a relationship, to being a FWB.

Unexpected stuff happens all the time, so yeah.

Yeah mine came back after a year and slept with me for my birthday. I did not know it but she actually had a bf and were having problems. Well she went right back to him. So be careful what you wish for.

Yes...my ex ex came back n i swear i never ever thought he would!! we were together a year and in that time love was never mentioned between us, i needed to know how he felt about me, so one night i asked him, he told me he didn't love me, he never had jesus!! knife in the heart or what!!..it all blew up, i told him i loved him and it wouldn't work if he didn't feel the same way, he told me he would never love me.....1 week later i moved home to my country, i did see him once before i left but he said nothing to me and let me go.

We had light contact as i he was getting a deposit back for me from my old landlord...3 mnths later i had to go back to out to collect the money, he said i could stay with him but not to get the wrong idea, it didn't mean we were getting back together, i'd lost all hope of that happening anyway.

About 20 mins after i arrived..he asked me back!!! told me he loved me n always had!!!

Didn't last as it was LDR. we finished and it really effed my head up...i was a total mess after that...that is the break up that first brought me here......like LNL said...be careful what you wish for

loulou x

Two came back but just to get the power. In both cases, I broke up first. They came back, reeled me in, and boom - dumped my sorry ass. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!

haha "do not try this at home". Ive had 2 recons (i was dumpee in both, and both recons were initiated by me)where stuff just blows up, and my heart breaks a second time yet i think this last one could work if recon happened? must be insane. idk who said it, but the saying goes something like the definition of insane is doing something over and over and expecting different results. i'm not very s-m-art in that sense.

It's better to be surprised than disappointed.

is that off the top of the ol' dome? or did you hear that somewhere? puts a few things into perspective for me haha

My first really serious boyfriend (from 18-early 20's) and I had a terrible break up. He eventually came crawling back a year or so later. He was friendly at first and I was receptive to being friends but I found out he was still in love with me and wanted to get back together. At that point, even though I wasn't seeing anyone new, I had moved on and did not want anything to do with another relationship.

Someone who I had been casually dating for a while also eventually came back after he and I just stopped talking abruptly. Again, I had moved on at that point and was not interested.

Current ex- not so much.

I feel like people only come back after long periods of time (obviously some people never come back at all...) and at that point, you've usually moved on by then.

ex of 8 years..been apart for 8 months. Contact here and there. We both have trouble letting each other go. I want to give it another shot. She doesnt know what she wants. In the last month we have slept together twice. Great right?? Wrong. It sux, its like going back to the beginning again. I am over it. Like alot of people say, i just dont think she will ever change, she complains about her life, yet doesnt do anything positive to fix it. Its easier to just drop in and see me to get her self esteem boost, then dissappear into thin air.

Stupid me has done the same as others, maybe we can catch up, even FWB, and i can keep my emotions in check.................Yeah well...........Idea fail. It just doesnt work. So i have told her now or never, yes or no, answer Today, otherwise i will make the choice for you. I would rather never hear from her again than be taken advantage of like this. Yes you heard right. 4 Months ago i would have wrestled a pack of rabid silverback gorrilla's in barefeet on broken glass with a plastic spatula just to hear her voice. Now that i have seen her, and even had sex, how it makes me feel is just as terrible. So terrible, i am willing to never see her again.

Food for thought.

Now that i have seen her, and even had sex, how it makes me feel is just as terrible. So terrible, i am willing to never see her again

I had the same thing happen....Yes having them come back part way is worse that not at all. Pure hell. My ex did the same thing. came back we had sex now and then and I thought this would bring her back fully. Never happened. I was so damn miserable. I wanted her heart and affection not just sex. It felt empty.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ True that.

Hello.

Here is my story. I started seeing this guy (he was 22 and I 24 at the time) who lived a couple houses down from me. Right from the start I told him I was only looking for a relationship, as I had only ever been in one before and was ready for another after years of being single. He agreed and I was ecstatic—I was super attracted to him and his personality. After a few dates I was ready to have sex with him, and we did. The very next day he texted me saying he could never be in relationship again as the last one broke his heart…I’d never felt so played before, as he so clearly lied just for sex. We stopped talking and he would occasionally text me. Well, loneliness got the best of me and I agreed to his proposition of being FWB. Didn’t work out. I quickly got attached and he felt suffocated and suddenly blocked me. Never happened to me before and truly shook me. Well, a few weeks later there was a note on my door saying how terrible he felt and that he wish he’d been better. I ignored it completely and went to bed, but not long after there was a knock on my door. I was shocked but I still opened it. We talked, he cried, and we had sex. He stayed over every day for like 2 weeks straight. I was truly happy.

Flash-forward a year and so far he’s left me twice. Always coming back crying and begging me to forgive him. This last time left is different. It has been 6 months apart (besides him coming over once for sex). He said he changed his number and basically there is no contact between the two of us. I deleted all my social media accounts and my email that I know he has. I am pretty sure he still has my number.

When he came over this most recent time, I asked him bluntly if he was going to come back/if he wanted to be with me. He didn’t really answer. All he said was he needed time to get his head on straight.

I really don’t know….What do you guys think? The coldness and blocking is a bit much for me to ever forgive him. But then again, I have done it before…

I just don't understand why he is so unsure about what he wants. I have always been kind and loving towards him.

Yep. I've had it both ways. I've ended a long-term relationship and then 1 month after no-contact realised i ed up and called him and asked for him to come over and discuss working things out. He slept with 2 people in that time but we managed to work it out. (We broke up 8 months later).

The other way has happened, I have been dumped by my current boyfriend who I am truly truly in love with. I told him okay and that i'll give him all the space he needs for whatever he had going on, went no contact, and then what do you know 10 days after he dumped me he calls me texts me saying he ed up and asked for me back. I didnt make it easy for him but now we are back together and everything is going great. I do kinda live in constant fear that he'll do it again but oh well i'm just taking each day as it comes.