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Thread: invite to his place after just 2 dates?

  1. #1
    reddot
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    invite to his place after just 2 dates?

    this is the same guy I've written about earlier, we did have a second date and he asked me if I would like to come over to his house and cook dinner together. What do you think? Is it a bit too early to go to his house (don't know him that well yet and I haven't known him for a long time obviously) or is it ok? What would you do and after how many dates do guys usually invite you to their home?

  2. #2
    Batya33
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    I have gone that early on but first explained that I wasn't ready to be sexual yet so there was no misunderstanding or awkwardness. Usually an invite like that that early on assumes that there will be some hooking up/fooling around unless there is some unusual or less typical reason like he cannot afford to take you out or is on a special diet.

  3. #3
    DylanNotorious
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    Well you could look at it this way, that he feels comfortable to invite you back to his place to cook dinner for you. I think that's nice. It gets expensive going out all the time, and you shouldn't just assume he just wants to have sex with you. You can sit down and talk and get to know each other.

  4. #4
    Batya33
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    Quote Originally Posted by DylanNotorious [Register to see the link]
    Well you could look at it this way, that he feels comfortable to invite you back to his place to cook dinner for you. I think that's nice. It gets expensive going out all the time, and you shouldn't just assume he just wants to have sex with you. You can sit down and talk and get to know each other.
    I think it's too risky not to discuss your expectations beforehand and if you're not comfortable doing so then you shouldn't be alone with him yet. If you do want to hook up then no need to discuss of course.

  5. #5
    BrianH46
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    Listen to Batya make sure you get the message accross, whenever I invite a girl to my place or she to hers I always feel bolder about where things are going.

  6. #6
    Thorshammer
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    I usually wait until the 3rd date, i dont know why, but i think the first date is... "do i like her", second date is, "is it consistent", third date is, "somebody rocking knocking the boots, ooooo gimmie some goooood looooove". If the girl turns me down, but i want to date her, its all fine as though she did it because she wants to wait, and not that i feel she isnt attracted to me in that way.

    I wouldnt put too much thought unless you were building seduction with him a lot before this. That means you are sending him messages that its 'go time'. If he starts getting touchy, then keep it at your pace and hold his hand. This sends a signal that all you want to do is kiss, and if he tries, put some pressure on his hand. If he backs off and says, "oh, i dont want this to lead somewhere so fast", say, "ok, i appreciate that", dont stay quiet.

    If he folds his arms and tries to kill the mood, but is really hoping you will initiate, dont. They try to self-guilt you, or make you panic that you ruined the flow of the date and turned him off, just leave if he keeps pushing it or play his game and fold your arms, dont make him think that you feel stupid, act like you saw this coming and hes acting like a kid.

  7. #7
    Sugar Leopard
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    I wouldn't go over there for a second date. You really have to get to know someone first before going to that level and putting yourself in that kind of situation. I would ask him to go somewhere public like a movie or dinner until you really get to know him and feel comfortable. Be careful and good luck.

  8. #8
    OrangeMoon
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    So this is your 3rd date right..

    Batya is right..somewhere in there you need to make expectations clear (and stick with them). But do it in a positive way otherwise it can kill the mood of something that started with positive intentions.

    Going to cook together is a natural thing at a 3rd date, its cosier and could be more fun and open. Yes you can expect some kissing etc, but make sure you check with him that he understands that its too early for you to go all the way and that you would just like to focus on getting to know him better in his own surroundings and just have simple fun together (watching movie, talk, etc). So if he understands this and is ok with that..you will gladly accept his invitation.

    (if he doesnt, or sounds hesitant...don't do it)

    Now mind you..if you go and do some heavy kissing..there will always be some further exploration when the chemistry is there. It will be up to you to turn him down lightly as Thorshammer mentioned.

  9. #9
    Batya33
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    Yes definitely speak to him in a positive way and in one short sentence "I'm really looking forward to cooking with you but just to make sure we're on the same page I'm not ready to be sexual" (honestly I got fine results by simply saying "ready to have sex with you" although typically by the third date he knew about my values on that topic so I didn't need to be as explicit).

    Big mistake to either reveal past bad experiences or to be defensive or accuse him of having "other" motives -even in a joking way since you don't know him well enough yet to joke like that.

  10. #10
    lady00
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    I wouldn't - for safety reasons and just in terms of my own comfort about the speed at which a relationship moves. I would not go over alone to the home of someone I do not know well.

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