Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: invite to his place after just 2 dates?

  1. #1
    reddot
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    7

    invite to his place after just 2 dates?

    this is the same guy I've written about earlier, we did have a second date and he asked me if I would like to come over to his house and cook dinner together. What do you think? Is it a bit too early to go to his house (don't know him that well yet and I haven't known him for a long time obviously) or is it ok? What would you do and after how many dates do guys usually invite you to their home?

  2. #2
    Batya33
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    43,118
    Thanked
    3085
    I have gone that early on but first explained that I wasn't ready to be sexual yet so there was no misunderstanding or awkwardness. Usually an invite like that that early on assumes that there will be some hooking up/fooling around unless there is some unusual or less typical reason like he cannot afford to take you out or is on a special diet.

  3. #3
    DylanNotorious
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Nigeria
    Age
    32
    Posts
    3,289
    Gender
    Male
    Well you could look at it this way, that he feels comfortable to invite you back to his place to cook dinner for you. I think that's nice. It gets expensive going out all the time, and you shouldn't just assume he just wants to have sex with you. You can sit down and talk and get to know each other.

  4. #4
    Batya33
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    43,118
    Thanked
    3085
    Quote Originally Posted by DylanNotorious [Register to see the link]
    Well you could look at it this way, that he feels comfortable to invite you back to his place to cook dinner for you. I think that's nice. It gets expensive going out all the time, and you shouldn't just assume he just wants to have sex with you. You can sit down and talk and get to know each other.
    I think it's too risky not to discuss your expectations beforehand and if you're not comfortable doing so then you shouldn't be alone with him yet. If you do want to hook up then no need to discuss of course.

  5. #5
    BrianH46
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    1,911
    Thanked
    145
    Listen to Batya make sure you get the message accross, whenever I invite a girl to my place or she to hers I always feel bolder about where things are going.

  6. #6
    Thorshammer
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Brooklyn, New York
    Posts
    4,319
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    6
    I usually wait until the 3rd date, i dont know why, but i think the first date is... "do i like her", second date is, "is it consistent", third date is, "somebody rocking knocking the boots, ooooo gimmie some goooood looooove". If the girl turns me down, but i want to date her, its all fine as though she did it because she wants to wait, and not that i feel she isnt attracted to me in that way.

    I wouldnt put too much thought unless you were building seduction with him a lot before this. That means you are sending him messages that its 'go time'. If he starts getting touchy, then keep it at your pace and hold his hand. This sends a signal that all you want to do is kiss, and if he tries, put some pressure on his hand. If he backs off and says, "oh, i dont want this to lead somewhere so fast", say, "ok, i appreciate that", dont stay quiet.

    If he folds his arms and tries to kill the mood, but is really hoping you will initiate, dont. They try to self-guilt you, or make you panic that you ruined the flow of the date and turned him off, just leave if he keeps pushing it or play his game and fold your arms, dont make him think that you feel stupid, act like you saw this coming and hes acting like a kid.

  7. #7
    Sugar Leopard
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    USA
    Age
    30
    Posts
    17
    Gender
    Female
    I wouldn't go over there for a second date. You really have to get to know someone first before going to that level and putting yourself in that kind of situation. I would ask him to go somewhere public like a movie or dinner until you really get to know him and feel comfortable. Be careful and good luck.

  8. #8
    OrangeMoon
    Gold Member OrangeMoon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    NL
    Age
    43
    Posts
    963
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    5
    So this is your 3rd date right..

    Batya is right..somewhere in there you need to make expectations clear (and stick with them). But do it in a positive way otherwise it can kill the mood of something that started with positive intentions.

    Going to cook together is a natural thing at a 3rd date, its cosier and could be more fun and open. Yes you can expect some kissing etc, but make sure you check with him that he understands that its too early for you to go all the way and that you would just like to focus on getting to know him better in his own surroundings and just have simple fun together (watching movie, talk, etc). So if he understands this and is ok with that..you will gladly accept his invitation.

    (if he doesnt, or sounds hesitant...don't do it)

    Now mind you..if you go and do some heavy kissing..there will always be some further exploration when the chemistry is there. It will be up to you to turn him down lightly as Thorshammer mentioned.

  9. #9
    Batya33
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    43,118
    Thanked
    3085
    Yes definitely speak to him in a positive way and in one short sentence "I'm really looking forward to cooking with you but just to make sure we're on the same page I'm not ready to be sexual" (honestly I got fine results by simply saying "ready to have sex with you" although typically by the third date he knew about my values on that topic so I didn't need to be as explicit).

    Big mistake to either reveal past bad experiences or to be defensive or accuse him of having "other" motives -even in a joking way since you don't know him well enough yet to joke like that.

  10. #10
    lady00
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Age
    33
    Posts
    9,498
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    14
    I wouldn't - for safety reasons and just in terms of my own comfort about the speed at which a relationship moves. I would not go over alone to the home of someone I do not know well.

  11.  

Top Threads
Post here instead of contacting your Ghoster!
I had to!! :lol!: I've been seeing a lot of us struggling with ghosting and having a hard time not texting, which in most cases it's the right
We're so perfect but..
Hello everyone, so i'm new here and i thought why not get some advice on how to handle this guy i'm texting, so i'm gonna get right into it! I'm
Changed his mind after finding out I was a virgin
I have been going on dates with this guy for a few times. We were on a car ride and things get quite heated and he invited me to his place for fun
Who pays airfare in long-distance relationship?
I connected with a girl living 4 states away. At 1st, I was flying there, 3 or 4 times. Then we mostry took turns, she flew here, then I flew
Blast from the past
Hello, I haven’t been here for a while, but I guess now is that time again when I would appreciate a lot your opinion. Long story short: 1
My date flaked on me to hang out with his friends???
So last week a guy I'm talking to suggested that we go for drinks one day. He suggested we go the very next day. I said I'm busy, but I might be free
Waiting for the call
I met a guy on a dating app and we went for coffee the next week. We talked and talked and time ended up flying and we stayed there for four hours

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
I love you, but I'm not in love with you.
So my fiancé of 7.5 years has decided she isn't in love with me anymore so has broken up with me. Our situation is very complicated we have a 2.5
How far should I go with unfriending/blocking on social media?
Hi all, I'm going hard no contact. She originally unfriended me on Snap and Twitter. I recently unfriended her on FB and IG. I also went a step
missing atm
I think what I miss at the moment is having a friend to talk to like we used to. She became the only person I really talked to for the better part
Mum boyfriend inapropriate
Hi everyone, thought i would share an update on whats happened so far. Thankyou all for helping me out yesterday, everything you all said was really
Girlfriend always mad at me
Me and my girlfriend have been togetehr for almost a year. I love her more than anything and i know shes not cheating on me or anything like that
I [F/26] found underwear in my boyfriend's [M/30] pocket.
I've been with my boyfriend for over a year. Recently, my boyfriend asked me to look for some money, so I looked everywhere and I couldn't find it. I
Ex gf text me out of the blue
I guess I just want some feedback and honest replies as my head is completely gone again. Me and my ex gf have been in no contact for a few months
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •