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Thread: Is she trying to make me jealous? Why?

  1. #1
    Soprano
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    Is she trying to make me jealous? Why?

    Ok so very long story short, I have an ex girlfriend who I still talk to daily and who I may get back together with in the future.
    We live a few hours away from each other at this point, because I go to university.
    She may come to this city though soon.

    Anyways, I often get jealous at things she does, sometimes reasonably, other times not.
    Jealousy for me is the worst emotion to have. I absolutely despise it and could live a far better life without it.
    So I'm trying to care less about things that she does.

    She was texting me yesterday after a night going out with her friends, and wanted to skype, which is very unusual.
    I asked her what she had done the night before and she said she went with her friends to her friends boyfriends house who also lives with a guy she slept with over the summer. There was her and 3 of her girlfriends, how many other people I don't know.

    So I responded sort of sarcastically, but then let it go. She continued to persist asking what was up with my text and if I was mad etc. Almost as if she wanted me to be angry. I didn;t answer her and I didn't have time to skype because I was going out.

    Anyways, this morning I texted her saying good morning etc. At this point I'm going to post our conversation so you guys can get a judge of how she is acting.

    She responded back saying "Are you mad I went to John's?"

    MEo you want to skype now?

    HER:I have to go to work soon

    ME: Lol okay. When do you work until?

    HER: 6 30. Can you answer my question?

    ME: No. Do you want me to be mad lol..?

    HER: No but after I told you you sent me loool yeah. Then when i said what you ignored me for an hour and continued to dodge the question.

    ME: Well is there anything I should be mad about?

    HER: No. He has a new girlfriend and the only reason i went was cause it was the only way we could all see each other (her 4 female friends) I don't think I even talked to him minus when we went out for a smoke and had a spit race

    ME: Lol. So then there's nothing to be mad about. Relax.

    HER: Yeah well you normally get mad whenever I hang out with someone who's male

    ME: Lol okay well I'm not mad so idk what the problem is.





    She hasn't replied yet.
    Does it not sound like she's dissapointed that I'm not angry?
    It almost feels as if she wanted to bait me into getting angry considering she usually dosent put this much effort into texting or ever wanting to skype.
    I mean, when I asked if there was anything to be mad about she could have simply said no. Instead she brings up the he has a new girlfriend line, their "spit race", going for a smoke, etc.
    I'll admit, usually this type of thing would make me super jealous and angry, and perhaps Im a bit jealous or suspicious now, but im tired of letting it effect me and letting her weigh me down so..

    Anyways, any thoughts on why/if she's trying to make me jealous?

  2. #2
    DN

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    I think you should be looking for someone else.

  3. #3
    Soprano
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    Quote Originally Posted by DN [Register to see the link]
    I think you should be looking for someone else.
    Why?

    I do go on dates with other women and hookup with other women, but she's the only one I've had emotions for in quite a while.

  4. #4
    DN

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    Because she isn't available and you are wasting time and emotional energy.

  5. #5
    Soprano
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    Quote Originally Posted by DN [Register to see the link]
    Because she isn't available and you are wasting time and emotional energy.
    What do you mean by not available?
    We're both single, we used to date, and we may date again in the near future if she ends up coming to the school in my city.
    Besides that though, could you answer the original question of if you think she is trying to make me jealous?

  6. #6
    DN

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    I think you are wasting your time.

    But yes, she is trying to make you jealous but that doesn't mean she wants you back. It could equally well mean she likes the idea of you wanting her when she isn't available because it feeds her ego.

  7. #7
    Soprano
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    Quote Originally Posted by DN [Register to see the link]
    I think you are wasting your time.
    Fair enough. I've definitely thought about that too. At this point I don't invest much time in her besides briefly talking each day, which we do less of now. But we'll see how things go over the winter break I assume, and go from there.

    Quote Originally Posted by DN [Register to see the link]
    But yes, she is trying to make you jealous but that doesn't mean she wants you back. It could equally well mean she likes the idea of you wanting her when she isn't available because it feeds her ego.
    I recognize that, and at this point, I'm not sure which it is, though I feel it could be the latter. She has been starting arguments with me quite a bit lately it seems, so idk what her intentions are by rambling on and on about how she expects me to be mad. I just hope I can keep my cool. I love when I don't care.

  8. #8
    Captain Obvious
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    Its like being in a relationship but without the actual relationship, she is not the one making you jealous, you are. You care about a girl who is single, how can someone not get jealous? Find someone else, the longer you are hung up on this girl the longer you will be hurt.

  9. #9
    giubilante
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    Maybe she was playing games, or maybe she picked up the tone in your texts and was honestly trying to make sure everything was okay. To be honest, the tone of your messages did come accross as somewhat passive aggressive to me, at least.

    Good luck figuring everything out.

  10. #10
    Soprano
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    Quote Originally Posted by Captain Obvious [Register to see the link]
    Its like being in a relationship but without the actual relationship, she is not the one making you jealous, you are. You care about a girl who is single, how can someone not get jealous? Find someone else, the longer you are hung up on this girl the longer you will be hurt.
    You make a very good point. I guess I'm trying to condition myself to not feel jealousy haha. It's not really working, but I have improved/

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