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Thread: how do I let my crush know that I like him?

  1. #1
    peanutbutterandjelly
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    Question how do I let my crush know that I like him?

    I have a crush on this guy and I don't know what to do. I'm not sure if he likes me back, but sometimes I get the feeling that he does. We have been friends for about 6 months and I've pretty much liked him the entire time. I'm afraid of ruining the friendship or making it weird or awkward if I tell him that I like him and he doesnt feel the same way. I wouldnt want to ruin a friendship, but I'm worried that if I don't say something, I'll never know. I feel like one of the reasons he hasn't made a move on me might of been because of some of the things I've said. One time we were driving somewhere with our mutual friend and our randomly asked if we would have sex. I said "no", he was like, "ummm, no!!" but I was just caught off guard and didnt know how to respond to that question. Another time our friend asked me again with him in the room if I was attracted to him and I was like... "uhhh, i dont think he's really my type" just because it was so awkward. Then a week or two ago, this same mutual friend asked if I would "bang" him and I told him that I wasn't going to bang anyone, I was looking for a boyfriend not something casual. My crush wasn't in the room at the time, but it's possible that he might have heard me from upstairs. It's not really that unusual for my friend to say that kind of stuff, so I dont necessarily think that my crush expressed an interest in me, but I guess it's possible. My friend just likes to joke around like that, he has kind of a dirty sense of humor and likes to make jokes about his friends having sex with his other friends... he also means well though and always is asking me if I found so and so attractive cause he knows I want a boyfriend. I know my crush is looking for a girlfriend, and he knows im looking for a boyfriend, but i think those interactions probably made him think that i was totally not intersted in him.

    I feel dumb for not answering honestly, and saying that I wasn't interested in him but my friend made it awkward. I said no because it was right in front of him and I didnt want to admit that I had a crush on him, but now I think I basically told him right to his face that I wasn't interested. I'm not sure if he isn't putting a move on me because he really isnt interested or because of what I said. When my friend asked him about me though, he said "no" too but I dont know if it was because I had said no first or because of the same reason I said no... because we were put on the spot. Maybe he said no, because he really meant no, but I'm not sure. Sometimes I feel like he likes me or does stuff that he thinks will impress me, but I could just be thinking that because I have such a crush on him. I feel like such an idiot. I'm afraid that if I dont say something and there is mutual interest, it will be my fault. If he gets into a relationship, I know I will be kicking myself, but I feel like if he doesnt like me back, I will never hear the end of it from my friends and it will be akward. I dont know what to do... i dont know if should send him a message, or try to talk to him in person, or what.
    Last edited by peanutbutterandjelly; 11-14-2011 at 02:24 PM.

  2. #2
    DylanNotorious
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    If you don't want to come right out and ask him, you could just start getting more into his personal space. Like get kinda touchy/feely with him when he cracks a joke, or playfully hit him, get real close to him when he's speaking - he will get the hint. And if you see him suddenly jerk away, or trying to get away from you then you know he's not interested and then you can go back to just being the way you were before.

  3. #3
    John3572
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    If I were you I would take my chances and make a move. Don't waste anymore time on having a crush. I had an experience of being hung up on a woman for almost a year. I think I was her crush but she never really made a move and neither did I. When I finally decided to stop torturing myself over her it hurt worse than ending an actual relationship because I had to let go of the hope that something may have happened between us.

    Ask him for coffee. See what happens.

  4. #4
    peanutbutterandjelly
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    last night I was hanging out with him and some of our other friends and I touched him playfully for the first time. I have never touched him in any way before, mostly because I get nervous that he won't like it or will take it the wrong way, but I know that is a way to express interest so I tried. I slapped his leg a couple times when he said something funny. I also tugged his hair and touched his neck playfully and he didnt seem to mind. At one point this guy that was also there who I had never met before told me I should sit on my crushes lap, and I kind of balked and hesitated and then just laughed it off. my crush didnt say anything, he didnt object at all. I should have just done it, but I get so nervous that he wont like me coming on to him like that.

    There are other girls that are interested in him, and they will touch him and flirt with him, but he's told me and some of our friends that he doesnt like them because they are fake and they lie. yet he will still hang out with them and let them flirt with him. a lot of the times i go over there, they will be over there and they will be trying to win his attention. he likes the attention, so it works, but I end up sitting in the background. Last night neither of them were there, and I wish I would have flirted with him more, but I was nervous. I like him so much, that i over think things because im worried about how he will react. At least I touched him a little bit last night though, thats the most affection/interest that ive ever showed in him.

    he's the king of cryptic fb statuses and I kind of want to make one directed at him and see if he picks up on it, but thats kinda childish and silly i guess.

  5. #5
    peanutbutterandjelly
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    I feel like I made a huge mistake, but what was I supposed to say when our friend asked me that? I automatically said no because that was the easiest thing to say, but i think that screwed me over. i feel like if he was interested in me, he would make it known... he makes it known how he feels about other girls, but I really dont know how he feels about me. For some reason, last night our friend asked this guy, "What do you like about milkandhoney?" and he said how he liked that i was a very accepting person and didnt judge people and my friend agreed with him and said that i had helped him to become more openminded. That made me feel really good and I do think this guy thinks of me as a friend... but for some reason I just really want more with him. He tends to go for the loud drunk bad girl type. I'm realllllly shy around him, more than anyone else and I dont really drink... but then he complains that he can't find a nice girl. i dont know how he doesnt see me right in front of him... maybe he does though, im not sure.

    I feel like overall he is not into me, but then something will happen and i think he's doing something to impress me or he likes me. generally i feel like he is almsot indifferent to me, but i think our friendship is just starting to grow. i dont really talk to him outside of the time when im at his house, and I always talk to my other friends in the house when i make plans to come over. yesterday he mentioned me on his facebook. im thinking that i should probably just try to get closer to him, maybe try to talk to him more online. he doesnt have a phone.

    its weird because i always see him make plans pulically with other girls on facebook... but the other girls will come to his profile and ask what he's up to or if he minds if the stop by. he doesnt go onto their profiles and ask them if they want to hang out. its kinda weird, because its clear that this one girl is really into him, but he doesnt like her because he thinks shes fake and stuck up. i think he thinks of me more of our friends friend and not his friend.. maybe i need to change that and become a closer friend and go from there... i think thats probably the best way to handle it.
    Last edited by peanutbutterandjelly; 11-15-2011 at 12:47 AM.

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    peanutbutterandjelly
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    today i sent him a message to see if I could connect with him over something and try to gauge his interest... we were talking about music the other day so I asked him to recommend an album about a particular band he had mentioned he liked... and i recommended him a song and said something about another band we had been talking about. I asked him what song he liked from that band. he wrote me back within 10 minutes with the name of the album and thats it and didnt answer my second question. i wrote a paragraph and he wrote a sentence. i was surprised that he wrote back so quickly but disapointed that he only seemed to have read part of my message. i can't figure this guy out. im pretty sure he's just not interested... if he was, youd think he'd say something to keep the conversation open and going, right?

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    peanutbutterandjelly
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    i wrote him back saying thanks for the recommendation and he wrote me back within a minute saying no problem. uggg. i dont get this guy.

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