I just want some advice on what I can do in these last few months with her.
I feel guilty because we found out about the cancer end of August. It was quite a shock. She started chemo and started feeling better, so we all kinda of relaxed. But she just talked with her doctor today about the chemo results and found there was no improvement and nothing can be done. She only has 6-8 months to live.
I feel a bit guilty because I didn't spend to much time with her in these last few months. I mean I did come over several times but not every weekend. I also feel guilty because I had an abortion a few weeks ago and told her about it. I feel guilty about that.... that I shouldn't of said anything to her.... But I went to her to talk about it when I got pregnant cause I didn't know what to do and I needed to talk.. but then after talking to her I got the abortion which she was against... and I told her my decision. She was very displeased.
This is last thing we talked about before the news today..... I feel so stupid for even bringing it up to her... why did I tell her that with what she's dealing with already. Maybe she is mad at me now...
and also, I feel very awkward around her right now for some reason and I hate that too. I don't know why I feel so awkward around her.... If that normal? like I don't know what to say to her now that she is dying... I don't want to say the wrong thing.. or seem too cold or too sappy... I want to be more affectionate to her but I dunno I just feel awkward. Anyone else every feel like that?
I'd like some advice of what kinda of things can I do with her and for her in the next few months? Gift ideas? Things to do with her one the weekends? Outing ideas? etc.
She is very weak but can still walk around and stuff.
I was thinking maybe the family can rent a cabin for a weekend and we all stay together in one place.... But I don't know if she would feel up to it.
I dunno just wanted to get a few things off my chest and some ideas for the future.