does your guy check out other girls when he's with you?

my guy does.when i ask why he goes "i cant stop it. it means nothing. probs just cuz i like the looks". he says looks but i know it means boobs and ass too.

i know it's just guys..but i still feel upset about it..and i cant understand it cuz myself dont feel the need to check out other guys. so i really cant relate.

what does it mean when a guy does it? does it mean im not enough for him? does it mean he needs something new? does it mean he;s just a jerk?

is it really in guys gene? does it really mean nothing?

It means nothing, nothing at all. Would you look away when you see a sunset or a cute puppy? Beauty draws the eye, that's all it means. His heart is with you, no matter where his eyes are. Now if his hands wander, that's an issue.

I know quite a few guys who do this even though they are with their partner.

Only answers I was given is, they like the looks of other women as well so they are going to look and it keeps their partner on their toes.

The belief that their partner is still looking makes them want them more and try harder to be a please out of the insecurity created by the mans behavior.

Yes I am a male, but when I am in a relationship I see my partner as the most beautiful woman in the World.

All other women are just phased out.

I feel I have no need to look when I have someone beautiful.

My boyfriend doesn't do this. I don't either. He did fuss at me a while ago though when this girl walked by with this HUGE rack and I don't know, I just looked for a while (several seconds), mostly wondering "Holy crap I wonder if those are real...?" and he was like "HEY!". Oops. He doesn't do that to me though.

well i have a few things for you to think about. first off... once you have a big screen tv that you love does should that stop you from looking at the other tv's when you walk into best buy? i actually asked my dad about this when i was little and he told me something i will never forget "i'm married not blind" I personally love pepperoni pizza. and i always order pepperoni pizza when i get pizza. but i still stop and smell the veggie and meatlovers pizza before i go back to pepperoni.

in fact if i were you i would be incredibly proud and happy that my man is looking at other women. instead of thinking that he wants something else because he is looking while with you... why dont you try seeing it as, even after looking at all the other girls around my man still thinks i'm better then all of them and thats why he comes home to me.

same scenario, same actions he's taking, different view for you, and a completely different way of thinking about how much your man cares for you. be happy he looks and comes back to you, instead of him only looking at you and then 3 years down the road wondering "is she really what i want or is there something else out there for me?"

to sum up my advice... encourage him to look at other girls. nothing bad can come from it unless he takes it past looking in which case he isnt really the guy for you. but that probably wont happen so be happy

That's really cute. IF only all men had those innocent little boy intentions.

I recall when my ex's truck broke down and I spent the night picking hin

Up and driving back to his truck. On tHe way he almost got whiplash checking out some girl.

I didn't say anything, I was just silent. He finally got it out of me-why I was pi$$ed off.

Then he got mad for me being mad.

I don't like it when a guy checks out another girl while we are on a date.

Sure its ok to look, but to stare/drool is not cool.

Anyway, world cup soccer is coming up- or football as they call it.

Let the tv chanel changer linger on Manchester United. You need to get your fill as well.

If its ok for him, its ok for you...

I think it's disrespectful to do that with your partner right there to witness you gazing at another woman or man. It's called having some self-control. If my partner was doing that while we are out together, the last thing I would be feeling is happy and proud. There should be a level of tact and respect while out as a couple. Of course you will find others attractive from time to time, but to go out with your partner and displaying an obvious gaze towards someone else is completely unnecessary.

Is he staring or is it a quick half second glance? If he's staring/gawking, that's just rude and disrespectful. He can do that when he is out with his boys, but not with me on a date.

i would feel happy if he thinks "she's pretty but my gf is better" but i cant think positive if he thinks "hmm that's a nice as* i wish i had it but too bad i have a gf already"

and i dont know how he really thinks

Is he staring or is it a quick half second glance? If he's staring/gawking, that's just rude and disrespectful. He can do that when he is out with his boys, but not with me on a date.

what's the difference he's with me or with his boys? staring is just wrong no matter who he's with. isnt it?

I think it's disrespectful to do it in front of your partner if you know it bothers them. i think if it's just a group of guys having fun, then not a big deal. i mean, assuming that they aren't being caught by the woman they are leering at!

My boyfriend doesn't. I used to be very insecure and watch out for stuff like this, but I'm very lucky in that he only has eyes for me! Having said that however, I wouldn't think too much of it. It's natural for your gaze to follow things that are appealing. If you're bothered by it, I'd have a chat to him.

My boyfriend does, to be fair I often actually point out girls who I think are his type. He does it to me too, it's harmless. I simply believe that when you're in a relationship it doesn't mean you never notice other attractive people, but it also doesn't mean you find them more attractive than your SO just because you check them out. I look at attractive guys when I see them in public, it's purely an observation rather than deep lust. As long as he isn't looking at other girls and wishing I looked more like them instead then it's fine to me.

My boyfriend does, to be fair I often actually point out girls who I think are his type. He does it to me too, it's harmless. I simply believe that when you're in a relationship it doesn't mean you never notice other attractive people, but it also doesn't mean you find them more attractive than your SO just because you check them out. I look at attractive guys when I see them in public, it's purely an observation rather than deep lust. As long as he isn't looking at other girls and wishing I looked more like them instead then it's fine to me.

^^ I second this post - word for word. My husband and I do the same thing, we point out good looking people to each other all the time. No harm in it (imo). I can't walk around with blinkers on the rest of my life and nor can he. I think it's normal human behaviour.

My boyfriend does, to be fair I often actually point out girls who I think are his type. He does it to me too, it's harmless. I simply believe that when you're in a relationship it doesn't mean you never notice other attractive people, but it also doesn't mean you find them more attractive than your SO just because you check them out. I look at attractive guys when I see them in public, it's purely an observation rather than deep lust. As long as he isn't looking at other girls and wishing I looked more like them instead then it's fine to me.

how do you know he;s only observating but not thinkin "i wish i could get some of that"?

^^ I second this post - word for word. My husband and I do the same thing, we point out good looking people to each other all the time. No harm in it (imo). I can't walk around with blinkers on the rest of my life and nor can he. I think it's normal human behaviour.

maybe i'd feel better if it was only face. but body involved just makes it sexual as if he would wanna do them?

Truth is, you don't (and won't) ever know what your guy is thinking. That's just something that you're going to have to accept and deal with.

My boyfriend doesn't look at other girls (at least when I'm with him) but I wouldn't care too much if he did. We both enjoy porn too and that doesn't bother me. Does he look at these porn models and think "Oh I want to do them?". Well, he's told me (without me asking) that he doesn't, but if he did, I wouldn't know! I'm definitely no porn star so I'd think if that's what he's into, that's what he'd be with, ya know? He's had thin, conventionally beautiful women crush on him in the past and he turned them down when he was single. So really, if he wanted to be with someone else, he could. But he's not, he's with me.

I don't know about you but that's good enough for me.

Every time you guy looks at a woman, pinch him hard. Over time he will associate looking at other women with pain and wont do it. It will counter the instinct of looking at other women with the higher instinct of wanting to avoid pain.

Is he staring or is it a quick half second glance? If he's staring/gawking, that's just rude and disrespectful. He can do that when he is out with his boys, but not with me on a date.

Yes, agree with this completely. Of course he can help it. Would he ogle other women while he was on an interview or out with his grandmother?

I don't check out other guys - I notice other people ,all the time and some of them are men but no I don't check them out. I did when I was younger and yes a few times I acted rudely and still feel badly about that. And no I never used the excuse that I couldn't help it.

My husband doesn't and he didn't when he was my boyfriend. I'm fairly certain he doesn't when he's not with me but it's not something that concerns me.

how do you know he;s only observating but not thinkin "i wish i could get some of that"?

Because I trust him. I am not a clingly girlfriend, I don't care if he looks at porn or other girls in the street so he can look at all the girls he wants and he's still telling me I am the most beautiful woman in the world in his eyes. He has no reason to lie to me. I don't care if he thinks it'd be hot to have sex with a hot girl he sees, that's harmless and really normal. I'm fine as long as he isn't wishing in reality it was her instead of me or wishing I was more like her. I've always said I'd rather be alone forever than be the girl someone "settled" for.

^^ I second this post - word for word. My husband and I do the same thing, we point out good looking people to each other all the time. No harm in it (imo). I can't walk around with blinkers on the rest of my life and nor can he. I think it's normal human behaviour.

It's fun even I think it is normal to notice attractive people and that everyone does it on some level. Noticing a good looking person doesn't necessarily mean you want them more than your partner, it just means that there are other attractive people in the world.

how do you know he;s only observating but not thinkin "i wish i could get some of that"?

maybe i'd feel better if it was only face. but body involved just makes it sexual as if he would wanna do them?

guys have a concept we call our big head and our little head. any time a girl who is developed and looks like she can bare strong healthy children our little head says "hey time to go get some of that" its natures way of keeping the species alive. thats why we have a sex drive. now seeing as our species isnt going anywhere anytime soon, we have our big head that most men have learned to use to control the actions of our bodies instead of acting on these urges. so from a strictly biological and natural standpoint it is actually demeaning and wrong for girls to NOT be perfectly fine with their man looking at other women. nature has had a long time to figure out a system that works, and we arent going to be able to change that in a few thousand years.

however, and this may just be me i dont know about the rest of you, when i'm in a relationship with someone i need them to trust me, and i need to be able to trust them in return. if i were a girl and saw my man looking at another woman or even doing more then just looking, the first thing i would assume is that he has a reason and is not doing anything wrong. because i need that trust in a relationship. if i cant trust my SO to not cheat on me then the relationship is going to be a lot more work and a lot less fun for both of us because i'm always watching him and he's always looking over his shoulder. not exactly a stable healthy relationship if you ask me....

also there is way more to a relationship then just looks. i do check out women all the time (i'm single btw so dont be mad) but about 90% of the girls i'm looking at i think "daaaang i would love to have a night with that, but there is no way i'd want to spend more then a few hours with her" many guys can tell without even talking to a girl if their personality is to needy and spoiled or whatever (and not all but many (at least in my area)) really really "hot" (and i use quotes because i'm talking stereotypical 5'9" blonde big boobs nice butt skinny just all those stereotypical things guys say they like looking at) girls tend to be very high maintenance and guys dont actually want to be with them.

Every time you guy looks at a woman, pinch him hard. Over time he will associate looking at other women with pain and wont do it. It will counter the instinct of looking at other women with the higher instinct of wanting to avoid pain.

that is a horrible idea. if you associate looking at women and pain for him, his body will not distinguish between "other" girls and "his" girl. so essentially a woman who does this will effectively kill the guys ability to have sex because he will associate women with pain and therefore sex will be associated with pain to and he will avoid it. there is absolutely no way to make that distinction between other women and a particular woman when it comes to such basic instincts as sex and pain. just please dont do this.

It would bother me if he was making comments about "I could so tap that," or something along those lines, but a casual, appreciative glance on the street doesn't faze me at all. It's like if we're watching a TV show and a particularly well-built girl comes on screen - I'm just as likely to say something about her having a great body as he is. I don't consider it a problem to simply appreciate a particularly attractive female or male's appearance - far cry from that to ogling and being disrespectful - which would bother me.

however, and this may just be me i dont know about the rest of you, when i'm in a relationship with someone i need them to trust me, and i need to be able to trust them in return. if i were a girl and saw my man looking at another woman or even doing more then just looking, the first thing i would assume is that he has a reason and is not doing anything wrong. because i need that trust in a relationship. if i cant trust my SO to not cheat on me then the relationship is going to be a lot more work and a lot less fun for both of us because i'm always watching him and he's always looking over his shoulder. not exactly a stable healthy relationship if you ask me....

I agree - trust is very important. If you don't trust them, you can't have a relationship.

I see a huge difference between a glance and a gawk. If the hot tall blonde walked into the room, I would probably check her out too! If my date glanced at her, that would be fine. A gawk is not ok. I remember one time I was wearing a revealing outfit and was walking by a table at a restaurant, where there was a man and a woman holding hands accross the table. I could see the wedding rings. He proceeded to STARE at me while I was walking by. Now, that is just rude to his wife, the woman he was having a conversation with a second ago.

I have zero tolerance for the "we can't help it" - of course you can control a gawking reaction or similar.