He didn't pay for my coffee........

I met someone new last night for a coffee date. He didn't offer to pay for my coffee. Yet he invited me out for coffee.

I thought that if a man is interested, he would want to pay to impress a lady. Am I wrong? I got that from the dating books.

Although he made a good impression in other ways, I can not forget this.

He asked me out again and I accepted by I'm not sure if it's such a good idea.

SD

P.S. I was gonna leave this forum but I'm back because I'd like to hear what others think about this. In my gut, it feels so wrong. Yet it's such a small thing, I think.

Thats weird.SO he payed just his own coffe ? did he say anything?

Ditch him.

Even if he wasn't interested in you, the least he could have done was pay for both your coffees. What a cheap-skate.

Thats weird.SO he payed just his own coffe ? did he say anything?

Well I was late arriving due to traffic so he already bought himself something.

Maybe he should be your car payment too...

Coffee cost a few bucks, I'm sure he thought u can handle it.. and u would likely be more offended if he asked to pu the tap for a coffee rather that he didn't..

I don't understand how a man buys a cup of coffee impresses a woman. Its just a cup of coffee. If he can carry a decent conversation, have the same interests, wouldn't that impress you more?

So what if he already ordered himself one while waiting for you.

When you did arrive, he should have got up, introduced himself, and asked what sort of coffee you'd like and go up to the counter and order you one......AND PAY FOR IT!

Jeez!!!!!!!

Thats little strange as coffee is quite cheap. But a good friend of mine always goes dutch on first few dates. And his current girlfriend even confessed to us that he was the first guy who didn't want to pay for her part on a first date.

And to be frank, lot of guys don't like to take financial burden on first few dates; since things are shaky. Sometimes we do it out of compulsion and some arcane societal norms

Well I was late arriving due to traffic so he already bought himself something.

Well there's ur Answer.. if ur late he's not gonna hand u a few bucks to go buy ur coffee.. plus he's not gonna buy u a coffee if ur not there and let it cool down..

I don't understand how a man buys a cup of coffee impresses a woman. Its just a cup of coffee. If he can carry a decent conversation, have the same interests, wouldn't that impress you more?

exactly.

I've been on dates where the guy didn't pay for my coffee. he got there first and the shop was busy, so i stood in line and bought my own. to be honest, i was more put off that he didn't wait in line with me (it was a long line!) but then again, he was reserving our table. i'd give things another chance.

Well there's ur Answer.. if ur late he's not gonna hand u a few bucks to go buy ur coffee.. plus he's not gonna buy u a coffee if ur not there and let it cool down..

and he doesn't know how she likes her coffee, or if she was in the mood for tea instead, etc....

Well if you arrived late, and he had bought a coffee while you waited - that's totally different than just simply running off by himself to the coffee line without waiting for you (while you were present) and not offering you anything.

I'd go on the next date if you've clicked. If he never offers you treat you, it would concern me, but a one time thing due to a situation is not a biggie.

So what if he already ordered himself one while waiting for you.

 

When you did arrive, he should have got up, introduced himself, and asked what sort of coffee you'd like and go up to the counter and order you one......AND PAY FOR IT!

 

Jeez!!!!!!!

When I arrived, he did get up, asked me what sort of coffee I'd like and he went up to the counter with me, but he made no offer to pay.

Well I dunno about your country, but in my country coffee is pretty cheap. And if he couldn't fork out a few bucks for one, even just to impress you - then I say ditch him.

And just for a laugh, was the date any good apart from that?

When I arrived' date=' he did get up, asked me what sort of coffee I'd like and he went up to the counter with me, but he made no offer to pay.[/quote']

 

 

hahaha...now thats even more weird

When I arrived' date=' he did get up, asked me what sort of coffee I'd like and he went up to the counter with me, but he made no offer to pay.[/quote']

 

Is it red flag to you that he didn't pay for your coffee?

 

To be frank its a minor thing. if you guys click why don't you mind paying for your part?

Well I dunno about your country, but in my country coffee is pretty cheap. And if he couldn't fork out a few bucks for one, even just to impress you - then I say ditch him.

 

And just for a laugh, was the date any good apart from that?

In all honestly, we clicked in person like we did on the phone. That's why I was so confused about having to pay for my own coffee.

Weird. Well some guys are cheap andclueless. Well go on a second date se what happens.

Well ok maybe don't ditch him then, do what Sunnyv says - go out again and see how it goes.

Weird. Well some guys are cheap andclueless. Well go on a second date se what happens.

I already know what'll happen next time. He told me that he has tickets for a comedy club that he ordered about a year ago using his air miles or something like that and he forgot all about them before and they're gonna expire some time this month. He asked me if I'd like to go and I accepted. Not realizing, wait did he buy them intending to go with his ex?

In all honestly' date=' we clicked in person like we did on the phone. That's why I was so confused about having to pay for my own coffee.[/quote']

 

I wouldn't read in to it. it's only $2.

 

On my date with my guy, he did that. And then on the next date, we went to a wine tasting. we sat down and found some seats. and then he said he was going to go and pay for the wine downstairs. he looked at me, expecting me to come down with him and i just sat and smiled at him. he was like, 'oh, right.' and went himself, lol.

I wouldn't read in to it. it's only $2.

 

On my date with my guy, he did that. And then on the next date, we went to a wine tasting. we sat down and found some seats. and then he said he was going to go and pay for the wine downstairs. he looked at me, expecting me to come down with him and i just sat and smiled at him. he was like, 'oh, right.' and went himself, lol.

lol, not $2 but $3.45

This guy has cheap written all over him.

He's going to quickly use up soon to be expired concert tickets so they are not wasted, and he couldn't spring for a coffee.

It really does say a lot about him. Sorry I go back to my original stance and say "Seeeee ya!"

This guy has cheap written all over him.

 

He's going to quickly use up soon to be expired concert tickets so they are not wasted, and he couldn't spring for a coffee.

 

It really does say a lot about him. Sorry I go back to my original stance and say "Seeeee ya!"

I realize that he could be cheap which is surprising because he told me that he is financially secure.

My guess is that he is a tightwad. I say that because now there are 2 things to look at. He didn't buy your coffee and now you are going on a date using coupons. I don't get a good vibe from what you tell about this guy, Sandra, but that is my 2 cents...