Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Why do some men get so attached so quickly?

  1. #1
    Reflective
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    164

    Why do some men get so attached so quickly?

    After telling her personal things? After that he expects there to be some "bond."

    I was sitting in the lunch room, this same guy comes by me while I'm trying to enjoy my lunch. He assumes because I don't smile (I'm eating and would not like to be disturbed) I made no eye contact with him because I was eating and reading. He sees me and grabs a chair. I actually want to be alone. He assumes I am upset with him because I am trying to enjoy my lunch, and because I don't welcome him in a loving way. but why would I? I barely know this guy and I don't know what he expects from me. He then is delusive thinking that I am angry or upset wit him. Even though i told him I'm not upset with him. He starts getting whiney and pushes me to tell him what he did. I was only trying to enjoy my lunch. What's this guys problem? Why Is he attached to me so soon, I don't even fkng know him? I don't get it the guys ive experienced get TOO attached! why!?! Is he what people call, a stage 5 clinger? He literally starts whining and giving me his twisted perception of how I must be upset with him because I am not receptive to him - why would I be? I'm eating. and trying to enjoy my alone time for crying out loud? I told him 2 times I wasn't mad and he still whines and says I am. I don't get it. Do these types have some
    psychological issue?

  2. #2
    CMS
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    860
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    3
    Thats sign of insecurity, it shows that the man is uncomfortable in his own skin and is starving for affection, aka needing to find a women to attach to in order to feel complete.

  3. #3
    Mesemene
    Platinum Member Mesemene's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    If you figure it out, let me know...
    Age
    51
    Posts
    2,098
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    41
    In a case like that, I'd tell him "I just wanted a quiet lunch. While your world revolves around you, mine doesn't, and I'm entitled to a little quiet time without being accused of blowing you off just because I want that quiet time."

    And yeah, sounds like he does have issues - but they sure don't have to be your issues

  4. #4
    MrZod2012
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    64
    I'd say most men would attach and attempt approach easily?
    That is nature. Males are like that, we are not the ones who would get pregnant.

    Then women cannot do is be fooled by that. Attractive men seem easy to get, but it is hard to keep.
    Women on the other hand may be hard to conquer, but once they fall in love they tend to be in for a longer relationship?

  5. #5
    In the Dark
    Platinum Member In the Dark's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Somewhere to the right of Australia
    Age
    37
    Posts
    5,001
    Thanked
    3
    This guy has been trying to create positive interest with you but keeps on messing up and freaks out when you do not want to talk to him.

    As a response to the title.
    Some men get a date once every blue moon, and the efforts they may have made may seem only tiny steps from the recipients point of view, but are like taking leaps of faith for them.
    Because they worked so hard by taking the step to potentially get rejected (which is never fun) they end up being very attached because they do not want to have to go through that again.

  6. #6
    Generation
    Platinum Member Generation's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    1,236
    If you had said hi to him when he walked in, he would've came and talk to you about crap you wouldn't want to hear..
    If you did what you did, he whines and clings on.. hahahahaha!


    Anyhow, yeah he's really insecure about himself, and would be a stage 5 clinger if you were dating him. But because you're not, he's at stage 2.

    Infact, there are a lot of guys (that I know) who are like this. I'm gonna generalize a bit, but they're real downers and usually develop a negative view when it comes to women later on. They don't go on a lot of dates, and hardly hold down any relationships. They're like lost souls. They have no confidence because everything that they do gets their confidence shot down because of the mentality that the world is against them, like you said when you were just eating your lunch and he thought you were mad at him.

    But it also depends on the woman these men are dealing with too. If they've led the guy on, well, can't really blame him entirely. That's just their growing fondness from the affection of being led on.



    EDIT: I don't like calling it "psychological issues" cause that makes it sound like something is messed up with him, or there's something wrong with his brain, but it's not really like that. All it is 'is that he has low confidence and self esteem issues, perhaps with communication as well, but he's not a psychological mess in any way.
    Last edited by Generation; 09-23-2011 at 01:35 AM.

  7. #7
    sjjohnson89
    Silver Member sjjohnson89's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Mars
    Age
    28
    Posts
    536
    Gender
    Male
    In short, yes he sounds like he has psychological issues. What youve got to try and understand is that how you process things in your mind is obviously not how he processes things in his. What he is doing is taking your 'cold shoulder' approach which is you just trying to enjoy alone then processing that as some kind of rejection, he is taking it personal thinking its something he has done. I suspect when he questioned what hed done first you were blunt and stone faced saying that you want to eat lunch alone and hes done nothing, he is for some reason expecting a more emotional response therefore perceiving there to be a problem. The reason why he is expecting an emotional response i dont know, maybe he believes you two to be more friendly than it is from your side of the table.

    He might just simply like you but carries a lot of issues making his approach to being friendly awkward and out of hand. Or, if you know 100% that there is no way that you two could be in a spot right now that could be considered friendly and he is taking it as such, then, that is more of a cause for concern.

    It is a sign of insecurity emotionally yes, not sure of himself and is not putting on the front that most guys do of 'pretending' to be sure of themselves. You sound angry at him though, maybe this is because you feel pestered, but, if you had this tone before he sat with you for lunch then ive got to admit if i thought i was friends with someone and they gave me the cold shoulder saying they want to be alone i would feel there is something wrong and likely would look to myself first. But, taking into account what you say, he sounds like a very emotionally unstable guy who likely needs help because being that emotionally responsive to someone you say doesn't know you is not healthy. I would suggest being pleasant with him though, for, i doubt he means harm and youve got to look at things from his side, how he must feel inside going by your description of him.

  8. #8
    Voguester
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    337
    Thanked
    2
    I've never encountered a guy like this ever! I thought they were a myth :P It seems that I'm always the one chasing them...I'm dying to come accross one of these men who get attatched too soon lol

  9. #9
    Generation
    Platinum Member Generation's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    1,236
    Quote Originally Posted by Voguester [Register to see the link]
    I've never encountered a guy like this ever! I thought they were a myth :P It seems that I'm always the one chasing them...I'm dying to come accross one of these men who get attatched too soon lol
    No you're not!
    I'm a male, and I thought the female equivalent was a myth, and like yourself I wanted to come accross one myself. WHAT DID I WISH FOR?!

  10. #10
    Reflective
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    164
    Quote Originally Posted by Voguester [Register to see the link]
    I've never encountered a guy like this ever! I thought they were a myth :P It seems that I'm always the one chasing them...I'm dying to come accross one of these men who get attatched too soon lol
    No you dont trust me. lol! I'm an Aquarius so this behavior PUTS ME OFF so much!!!!

  11.  

Top Threads
Women, or men. Advice please. Girl I like finally hung out, made out..but got bf
Long story short.. I work in a big building and there's also restaurants and stuff in it .. including this bar that I regularly frequent after a
Understanding women's behavior at work?
A woman coworker i have a crush on. I heard she is into me.We've known each other for a while and have become close over the time. She doesn't say
Trying not to cheat
Ok my boyfriend and I have known each other for 8 years and have been dating for 3. We have been best friends since we were in middle school; I love
Too Young
I really like this guy who's like 3 years younger than me. This is a big deal because I am really picky when it comes to guys but there's just
What's up with this guy ?
Hello All, I am confused about a guy's behaviour. Would like to know whether he is really into me or is this how guys behave. Some of the things I
Run of the mill, typical does he like me?
Hi, Thanks for clicking in this for whatever reason your interested in a 14 year-old girl's life. See, there's this boy (there usually is in this
Mixed emotions
Me and this guy have been talking for a month or so. And we usually just snapchat pictures, but every other day we flirt. Some days we flirt a lot

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
I love you, but I'm not in love with you.
So my fiancÚ of 7.5 years has decided she isn't in love with me anymore so has broken up with me. Our situation is very complicated we have a 2.5
How far should I go with unfriending/blocking on social media?
Hi all, I'm going hard no contact. She originally unfriended me on Snap and Twitter. I recently unfriended her on FB and IG. I also went a step
missing atm
I think what I miss at the moment is having a friend to talk to like we used to. She became the only person I really talked to for the better part
Mum boyfriend inapropriate
Hi everyone, thought i would share an update on whats happened so far. Thankyou all for helping me out yesterday, everything you all said was really
Girlfriend always mad at me
Me and my girlfriend have been togetehr for almost a year. I love her more than anything and i know shes not cheating on me or anything like that
I [F/26] found underwear in my boyfriend's [M/30] pocket.
I've been with my boyfriend for over a year. Recently, my boyfriend asked me to look for some money, so I looked everywhere and I couldn't find it. I
Ex gf text me out of the blue
I guess I just want some feedback and honest replies as my head is completely gone again. Me and my ex gf have been in no contact for a few months
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •