Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: How to deal with ex who didn't want to settle down

  1. #1
    bballerct50

    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    3

    How to deal with ex who didn't want to settle down

    I hope someone could provide me on some advice on what I should do. i had been dating a girl for 4.5 months. It was a regular relationship, although I wanted a serious one and she did not. I just graduated from college and she has one more year left. The Problems with us were : she didnít want a serious relationship and wanted to party/drink and meet new people (be independent and do her own thing her sr year), long distance, and her parents were jewish and would only let her date/marry a jewish boy, one I was not.

    Anyway, two days after i left her at college, she called me and told me she was ignoring my texts the night before because she was flirting with some guys. She said with the distance and the jewish thing, it was too much. And she said she wanted a break, whether it be a couple of days, weeks, or months. I told her I would not be waiting. I told her that if it had come down to the jewish thing and we were serious, I would have converted someday. She said it would be easier to break up now than in a year due to the issue. But if I lived closer, this wouldnít be an issue. Also, from what I heard, the next day she hooked up with the guy that she was flirting with the night before. I contacted her twice just to ask for my belongings back and the pictures from the weekend before and she replied back(still havent gotten it back yet). Other than that, She drunk texted me one night saying I miss you but thatís it.

    I don't want to be with a girl who doesn't want a serious relationship, but i am sure someday she will change. If she matured, wanted to settle down, and make a commitment, I would enjoy dating her again. What should I do/how should I approach the situation? Should I ignore her forever and let fate handle it or after some NC make some contact just to stay as friends, wait until she wants to settle down, then hop on it? lol

  2. #2
    DN

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    42,515
    Thanked
    8
    Should I ignore her forever and let fate handle it
    And date other people because that is where 'fate' may lead you.

  3. #3
    bballerct50

    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    3
    Quote Originally Posted by DN [Register to see the link]
    And date other people because that is where 'fate' may lead you.
    But how should i go about contacting her? Should I ever contact her? And/or if she calls to hang out, should i just act better than her and tell her maybe some other time but I am glad we are friends?

  4. #4
    DN

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    42,515
    Thanked
    8
    Don't contact her and if she contacts you tell her that it is in your best interests to move on without being in contact with her.

  5. #5
    doyathink
    Platinum Member doyathink's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Venus
    Posts
    6,268
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    8
    Quote Originally Posted by DN [Register to see the link]
    Don't contact her and if she contacts you tell her that it is in your best interests to move on without being in contact with her.
    Do this to avoid any more damage to yourself. Seriously.

  6. #6
    Mesemene
    Platinum Member Mesemene's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    If you figure it out, let me know...
    Age
    51
    Posts
    2,098
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    41
    Quote Originally Posted by DN [Register to see the link]
    Don't contact her and if she contacts you tell her that it is in your best interests to move on without being in contact with her.
    I have to agree. She'll find you if she decides she really wants to.

  7. #7
    doyathink
    Platinum Member doyathink's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Venus
    Posts
    6,268
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    8
    Quote Originally Posted by Mesemene [Register to see the link]
    I have to agree. She'll find you if she decides she really wants to.
    And even then, it could just be mind games. Dont fall for it.

  8. #8
    bballerct50

    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    3
    What about getting my clothing back. Some of it was really nice. Should i text her about it? I asked her 2 weeks ago for it and she said she would send it but she never did. Also, she comes home next weekend and in two weekends after that and I expect she will call. Should I just have a short conversation, not trying to be mean but tell her " I think we need some space.But i hope everything is going well. maybe someday we can be friends". while she broke up with me, she did say she loved me, was still really attracted to me and wanted to kiss me.

  9. #9
    DN

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    42,515
    Thanked
    8
    Nope - just ask for the clothes back.

  10.  

Top Threads
Can I trust that he will not contact the ex?
Hi all I am new to this forum and am looking for some advice and opinions please... I am really starting to believe my man who I've been living
Ex moving on to rebound
Apologies for the wall of text : Last year, my ex broke up with me after two and a half years. We had issues that were made worst by living together
I'm not so sure I want him back-just journaling my feelings here
Eight days ago, my boyfriend broke up with me out of the blue. I was sad, I was mad, I wanted reconciliation. We talked about rules and
Not sure how to navigate my complicated situation
I've read the "how to get your ex back" posts and have seen the pros and cons of LC and NC. My ex and I tried LC but there were too many
Is there hope to get back together?
My ex girlfriend broke up with me in early December after almost 6 years. She was my first girlfriend and I was her longest relationship by far, the
Will we won't we? I don't know anymore
Okay so me and my ex boyfriend were together for 2 years and we were completely and utterly in love. We were both the longest relationship we've both
Should I ever reach out?
My ex and I split about 4 days ago.. the first two days I was constantly blowing her up bombarding her with texts and calls and no luck so I just

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Which credit card debt should I start paying first?
Have $500 to pay one first and wanted to ask which one I should pay first The one that I owe $ 700 or $2900? Thanks a lot
Am I Being Body Shamed by my boyfriend?
Let me just start by saying I am a pretty tiny person. I would say I'm "model-skinny" so to speak, but I don't starve myself by any means. I am
My girlfriend constantly makes flirtatious jokes about other guys to me. Help?
So, my girlfriend constantly (and I mean constantly, we're probably talking maybe 5 times or so every time we hang out?) makes comments about other
He's just not ready?! - What I've learned and your views please
Dear All, I've read so much around this and feel I've made a good strong decision but I'm looking for your thoughts. 4 weeks ago I met a guy
Am I getting cold feet?
My partner and I have been engaged for about a year now and have been together for over three years. We are an older couple so we both know what we
What should I do about my controlling parents?
I am 20, still living with my parents and they control my life. They won't allow me to online date but I do it anyway. They check my phone every day
Should I reach out to him after he disappeared?
I went on handful of dates with a guy, and after our last date I decided not to initiate any more (it was like 50% me before) and see what he does
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •