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Thread: How to deal with ex who didn't want to settle down

  1. #1
    bballerct50

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    How to deal with ex who didn't want to settle down

    I hope someone could provide me on some advice on what I should do. i had been dating a girl for 4.5 months. It was a regular relationship, although I wanted a serious one and she did not. I just graduated from college and she has one more year left. The Problems with us were : she didnít want a serious relationship and wanted to party/drink and meet new people (be independent and do her own thing her sr year), long distance, and her parents were jewish and would only let her date/marry a jewish boy, one I was not.

    Anyway, two days after i left her at college, she called me and told me she was ignoring my texts the night before because she was flirting with some guys. She said with the distance and the jewish thing, it was too much. And she said she wanted a break, whether it be a couple of days, weeks, or months. I told her I would not be waiting. I told her that if it had come down to the jewish thing and we were serious, I would have converted someday. She said it would be easier to break up now than in a year due to the issue. But if I lived closer, this wouldnít be an issue. Also, from what I heard, the next day she hooked up with the guy that she was flirting with the night before. I contacted her twice just to ask for my belongings back and the pictures from the weekend before and she replied back(still havent gotten it back yet). Other than that, She drunk texted me one night saying I miss you but thatís it.

    I don't want to be with a girl who doesn't want a serious relationship, but i am sure someday she will change. If she matured, wanted to settle down, and make a commitment, I would enjoy dating her again. What should I do/how should I approach the situation? Should I ignore her forever and let fate handle it or after some NC make some contact just to stay as friends, wait until she wants to settle down, then hop on it? lol

  2. #2
    DN

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    Should I ignore her forever and let fate handle it
    And date other people because that is where 'fate' may lead you.

  3. #3
    bballerct50

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    Quote Originally Posted by DN [Register to see the link]
    And date other people because that is where 'fate' may lead you.
    But how should i go about contacting her? Should I ever contact her? And/or if she calls to hang out, should i just act better than her and tell her maybe some other time but I am glad we are friends?

  4. #4
    DN

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    Don't contact her and if she contacts you tell her that it is in your best interests to move on without being in contact with her.

  5. #5
    doyathink
    Platinum Member doyathink's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DN [Register to see the link]
    Don't contact her and if she contacts you tell her that it is in your best interests to move on without being in contact with her.
    Do this to avoid any more damage to yourself. Seriously.

  6. #6
    Mesemene
    Platinum Member Mesemene's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DN [Register to see the link]
    Don't contact her and if she contacts you tell her that it is in your best interests to move on without being in contact with her.
    I have to agree. She'll find you if she decides she really wants to.

  7. #7
    doyathink
    Platinum Member doyathink's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mesemene [Register to see the link]
    I have to agree. She'll find you if she decides she really wants to.
    And even then, it could just be mind games. Dont fall for it.

  8. #8
    bballerct50

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    What about getting my clothing back. Some of it was really nice. Should i text her about it? I asked her 2 weeks ago for it and she said she would send it but she never did. Also, she comes home next weekend and in two weekends after that and I expect she will call. Should I just have a short conversation, not trying to be mean but tell her " I think we need some space.But i hope everything is going well. maybe someday we can be friends". while she broke up with me, she did say she loved me, was still really attracted to me and wanted to kiss me.

  9. #9
    DN

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    Nope - just ask for the clothes back.

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