Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: How do you "break up" with someone you've been dating unofficially?

  1. #1
    greenstar
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    14

    How do you "break up" with someone you've been dating unofficially?

    We've been going out for almost a month now. He's reallly good to me, treats me like a princess, but I am not that particularly attracted to him. A month ago, I was burned pretty badly by this one guy I had been seeing for three months.... I don't know if I should continue dating the new guy and hope that my attraction will grow or should I just break up with him? If so, how would I go about doing that without hurting him too badly or burning any bridges? Also, the new guy and I only messed around for a bit...we did not have sex or anything near that.

  2. #2
    RitaTrue
    Platinum Member RitaTrue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    A Pineapple Under The Sea
    Posts
    1,815
    Gender
    Female
    If you've been dating unofficially, then you can "break up" unofficially. Just fade off into the distance, and dont look back. It needs no explanation. Especially if he burned you like that.

    Onward and upward.

  3. #3
    jaysmaury
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Age
    30
    Posts
    149
    Gender
    Male
    I agree with Rita... Just slowly scale back the amount of contact you have with him until he doesn't even notice anymore. Of course, this depends on how far it went when you say "only messed around for a bit."

  4. #4
    greenstar
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    14
    well we only made out and got a little touchy feely, that's all. This guy has never burned me. The last guy that I dated briefly for three months did.

  5. #5
    RitaTrue
    Platinum Member RitaTrue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    A Pineapple Under The Sea
    Posts
    1,815
    Gender
    Female
    OP, something just dawned on me, when you're unofficially dating someone, how much do you expect exclusivity? On your end, on their end?

  6. #6
    jaimecat
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    16
    I say continue dating him, maybe see him less, but pursue others on the side. If you really are unofficial you should have no problems doing that but be honest if he asks you about seeing other men. I say this because I dont feel a month is a long time. You shouldnt give up yet- he could grow on you.

    I feel its a double standard in our society. Often I see men posting similar threads on here, except adding "I am interested in someone else possibly" and people respond by saying date both unofficially. Why cant a woman do the same thing? Dont put all your eggs in one basket.

  7. 09-21-2011, 05:17 PM

  8. #7
    Ms Darcy
    Platinum Member Ms Darcy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    United States
    Age
    35
    Posts
    30,223
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    4625
    Quote Originally Posted by ferson [Register to see the link]
    just be honest and tell him when he calls to ask you out again that you don't know, you just aren't feeling it even though he's a great guy and good luck.
    I agree. I think the fade isn't nice.

  9. #8
    ut804
    Gold Member ut804's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    NYC
    Age
    30
    Posts
    1,417
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by jaysmaury [Register to see the link]
    I agree with Rita... Just slowly scale back the amount of contact you have with him until he doesn't even notice anymore. Of course, this depends on how far it went when you say "only messed around for a bit."
    no no I don't like this. If he truly likes her he IS going to notice, and he's going to analyze everything and wait for her calls, etc. ALWAYS make a clean break. Don't play mind games. Don't drag anything out. I hate the "fade out" method. Its not fair to keep the other person guessing and wondering. Be honest and say "hey I think you're great but I dont think we click" or soemthing.

  10.  

Top Threads
Million Dollar Question: Why it's so hard to find 1 person we want to commit to?
Someone who we connect with on a physical and emotional level? I realize I'm preaching to the choir here, but I'm seriously baffled. There are
Girlfriend wants to go to the gym without me, I need advice
So me and this girl have been dating now for a few months. She all of a sudden has an interest in the gym which is fine because I love the gym. I've
What should I do?
Been with him for 2 years, we are both 21. He started working 2 months ago and has a stressful job. Texting has reduced drastically and now he goes a
Online Dating Descripton Sets Off Red Flags For Me, But Maybe Not for Others?
I have someone who has been giving me attention with Online Dating (yes, I thought I'd give it a gentle go. Dip my toe in the water even though I was
What can I do to look younger?
I'm 23 years old, 230lbs and 6'3. People often seem to think that I'm 30 years old but it doesn't make sense to me. I don't have five o ' clock
How to recover from being insecure
Hi all. I'd really appreciate any input and suggestions you have. About six seeks ago I started dating a woman and we hit it off great. Lots in
Am I making an unreasonable request?
I've been seeing a girl for just a little over a month now. We are hitting it off very well, but there are a few things I'm a little bit concerned
Featured Threads
Don Juan President
I'm the president of Don Juans. I know all the top moves to make with females and I've had sex so many times. If a man needs advice ask right here.
Talk Dirty to Me!
OMGosh this is rampant. I have been serial dating in hopes of finding a long term relationship. BTW, nn the past two weeks I have been doing really
Is it wrong that I don't drive my parent's car to drive myself places as of now?
I am 20 and I have my driver's license but I don't have my own car yet so I have to rely on my parents and the bus to get me places but my parents
Friendship changes, how to deal?
Hello All, My friend and I are close. We consider our friendship like a brother & sister type. Lately, I've been noticing he has been treating me
Online Dating Descripton Sets Off Red Flags For Me, But Maybe Not for Others?
I have someone who has been giving me attention with Online Dating (yes, I thought I'd give it a gentle go. Dip my toe in the water even though I was
Help
Hi, I'm 37 and I have been with my partner for about 5 years and we have been married just under a year. About 5 months ago my now wife had an
Did you ever get over your first love? Post your stories!
Hello, I've been feeling kind of down lately because I always hear people saying that you never get over your first love, or you'll always compare
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •