Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: No Contact Rule..how to initiate it.

  1. #1
    Ljay35
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    10
    Gender
    Male

    No Contact Rule..how to initiate it.

    Well me and my ex broke up almost 2 weeks ago. She was the dumper and it was a bit of a mutual break up although I did not want it to happen. But she did say after we have both found ourselves and gotten better and crossed paths down the road she would really want to get back together as we had something good the only problem we had was really that we just needed time right now to find herself, i am ill(lung cancer) and depression and she has her own life going on. We don't talk but she does go on my blog about 9-10x a day,(which i have stopped blogging now) I believe she is also in a rebound relationship at the moment..yes this soon, she is dating and filling the void of having affection and love and w.e else. I still have her on my bbm, now because it was a mutual break up im a little worried to delete her off, but cant start my healing process because she updates her statuses and pictures. Im a little in fear that she may gain power and it'll be easier for her to move on. What do you guys think?? Do I delete her without telling her? and will this help the process of maybe having her back sometime down the road? or will i be helping her situation?

  2. #2
    DN

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    42,515
    Thanked
    8
    She dumped you while you have lung cancer? Wow!

    So sorry you are struggling with that and the person who is supposed to be there for you flaked on you. I wouldn't ever want her back.

    Anyway - how to implement NC. In this case I would just block her and if she manages to contact you in some way don't answer. if she has any common sense she will know why.

  3. #3
    Mesemene
    Platinum Member Mesemene's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    If you figure it out, let me know...
    Age
    51
    Posts
    2,098
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    41
    Be simple and straightforward.

    If you feel you should tell her - short and to the point - it's hindering your healing process, and you need to focus on yourself.

    Don't use it as a door to establish contact, and don't let her use it as a safety net. Make it gone.

    Either she'll move on or she won't - it honestly won't matter if you make it "easier" or "harder" if she's really interested in a reconciliation. The only thing you control is how hard you can make it for yourself - so take control of that, and take care of your health issues with all of your attention. You felt she deserved your focus while you were with her - don't you deserve at least that much from yourself?

  4. #4
    Hollyj
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    12,096
    Thanked
    5421
    Quote Originally Posted by DN [Register to see the link]
    She dumped you while you have lung cancer? Wow!

    So sorry you are struggling with that and the person who is supposed to be there for you flaked on you. I wouldn't ever want her back.

    Anyway - how to implement NC. In this case I would just block her and if she manages to contact you in some way don't answer. if she has any common sense she will know why.
    Totally agree!!!

    You deserve to have people around that love and support you! Block and delete! Forever!

  5. #5
    RitaTrue
    Platinum Member RitaTrue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    A Pineapple Under The Sea
    Posts
    1,815
    Gender
    Female
    Quote Originally Posted by Mesemene [Register to see the link]
    Be simple and straightforward.

    If you feel you should tell her - short and to the point - it's hindering your healing process, and you need to focus on yourself.

    Don't use it as a door to establish contact, and don't let her use it as a safety net. Make it gone.

    Either she'll move on or she won't - it honestly won't matter if you make it "easier" or "harder" if she's really interested in a reconciliation. The only thing you control is how hard you can make it for yourself - so take control of that, and take care of your health issues with all of your attention. You felt she deserved your focus while you were with her - don't you deserve at least that much from yourself?
    Well said.

  6. #6
    endy
    Platinum Member endy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Detroit, MI (USA)
    Age
    35
    Posts
    2,075
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    1
    Read and check out the guide (pdf) in my signature. It even gives a sample of a NC letter.

  7. #7
    Thorshammer
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Brooklyn, New York
    Posts
    4,319
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    6
    She is not a catch at all. I would delete her from everything. Focus on you and your healing, positive people that want to be around you can help you heal, and I am not only talking about the "healing" from a break-up.

  8. #8
    ChellyV
    Gold Member ChellyV's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Age
    47
    Posts
    853
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    30
    Delete her and do not look back. Go NC and try to heal, physically and emotionally.

    You do not even have to tell her that you will be initiating NC. Whether she agrees or not will not hinder the act, so do so for your own good.

  9.  

Top Threads
Lunch?
Should I invite my ex to lunch or something? I'm moving around 3 hours away in a week. So the break up was awhile ago now, I'm not really hurt
I thought I was making progress, but then I saw the new profile pic of my exgf
Hello memebers, I was with my exgf for 3.5 years. I had been on NC with my ex for 10 days, then she messaged me to notify me that she has got a
Hooked up with ex how to continue
Went to a party with the ex and ended up spending the night with her, we had a great talk in the morning and she admitted she still loved me and
Will She Come Back?
My girlfriend of almost 2 years and I broke up about two weeks ago. When she ended it, it came as a complete surprise to me. We were together during
Should i contact my Ex?
I had been going out with a girl for about 4 months, towards the end we mutually decided to break up and try dating other people for a while (I was
Wanting to get back with my ex
I was together with my ex for about 22months and we have broken up for a month now. Right now, I still feel very miserable over the breakup
His friends and family
My boyfriend and I broke up a month ago. We also lived together so he moved out a month ago as well. We broke up not because I hurt him or he hurt

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
My boyfriend doesn't text me as much anymore?
My boyfriend would text me everyday all day and now he won't text me first anymore or at all sometimes. Last night he stopped replying to my text so
Is she the rebound
If he leaves a 17 year relationship to date his High School Sweetheart from 32 years ago, is she a rebound ?
I want to break NC after almost 2 months to invite my ex gf to a concert
We have been in NC for almost 2 months after being together for 6 years. She stopped responding to a text i sent her. I saw she was interested in
Online dating, and why it doesn't work well for most men
We discussed this before, and for some reason people got personal and mean about it. So I have no intention of returning to this thread, but I wanted
PLEASE HELP, boyfriend talks to mom 4-5 times per day, very odd relationship....
Hi guys, Always been hesitant to post my personal business online. Anyways... here it goes... So my boyfriend is amazing...(just to throw this
Hurtful joking
My bf jokes about things that are very hurtful. Today was probably one of the most hurtful. He tried to grab my breasts and he does this a lot. He's
He dumped me and won't return my stuff
So I was seeing a guy for a short amount of time. Out of the blue....he blocked me? Fair enough, I get the message, I think it's rude but
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •