In the Here and Now.

It's September 2011 and my undergrad degree is finally in sight. I'm #3 on the waitlist for a class that I must get into in order to have enough credits to graduate, so I am going to be sitting on the edge of my seat for awhile... I need to get in. This particular class is going to be a huge change for me, as it is focused on speculative and experimental fiction. In my time in the writing program, I've been focused on non-fiction and journalism, so it definitely is daunting to find myself in a fourth year fiction class surrounded by people with novels on the go. Being a novelist is something that I do not have a desire to do at this point in my life, but I know it will come later, when the time is right. For now, I'm focused on reporting and editing.

My goal for myself is to focus on today. I am a worrier and a planner by nature, but there is no need to worry about what we cannot control. I don't want to wish my last year of university away. I want to drink it all up, make this years' paper the best one yet, and stretch my boundaries to discover new things.

I need to accept what I cannot change and be joyful for others, instead of envious. Everyone's situation is different and we often never find ourselves where we "thought" we would be. That doesn't mean we're in the wrong place-- not at all.

I lost sight of the fact that the man I love more than anyone else in this universe, asked me to marry him-- not because I pushed (as he assures me) but because he really, really wants to. And that is enough. It's more than enough. It's really special and I am really lucky. If the wedding means a lot to him, then it means a lot to me as well.

Yesterday my fiance, myself, and a friend spent the day at a beautiful river, just talking, swimming, and enjoying the sunshine. After that, we spent a good twenty minutes observing all of the activity at a nearby pond. We watched the dragonflies swooping, mating, the snakes catching froglets, frogs sunning themselves on lilypads, and it was mesmerizing. That is what I want my life to be-- A beautiful adventure-- and the only way to attain that is to let go and be present.

Taking a quick break from reading. It's been a busy day and tomorrow will probably be even busier.

I have to get use to this new name. :s

I would really like my ring back now. Kthx.

I had every intention of going to the gym today, but I just don't know if there's time. I'm out of here at 2 and I still need to do the dishes and clean up after I make some dinner for the mad dash from class to work. After class I work till 10:30... and I spent the morning working on the paper. I guess sometimes there are just things that need to be dropped. Maybe I can go tomorrow!

Oh my. I can certainly wait for the stunning winter wedding that is beginning to take shape in my head. *saves money*

I'm trying to be zen and calm, but I just got booted from the class I needed to graduate. I was NUMBER TWO on the waitlist. She couldn't let TWO of us in? Really? I don't know what I am going to do now... I even asked some people if they would be okay to drop the class so that those of us who are due to graduate can have all the credits we need.

One girl (the same one who said she hated me for my happiness...) told me that she has already taken it before, but she won't drop it. There really should be rules against that sort of thing. If I have to take another course in the fall, fine, but I want to graduate with my friends this summer.

That sucks! And yes, they should have a rule were you can't take a class that is in high demand and that people need to graduate, twice. This woman sounds like a real biatch. I'm sorry.

Yes, she is getting very hard to deal with. It's like she has a black cloud of negatory all around her. Can't help but feel like she deserves to be right where she is. I'm meeting with one of my profs in about an hour to discuss my options. I'm definitely not the only one in this situation and it's just not right.

I wanted to do something nice for myself, so I bought the newest album by Kina Grannis. I love getting packages in the mail

I agree, I wonder if the school would take those who have taken the class twice out. Why do you WANT to take a class twice? When I was in college I just wanted to get in and get out!

For easy credit. I am actually taking the magazine publishing class again because it is so different each year and last year was a terrible experience. But, if there was a waitlist, I would let first timers in.

Sadly not everyone is that nice apparently, especially Negative Nancy.

Today is just not a good day all around LOL. My stomach is upset now.

Things are looking up. I may be able to write/publish my children's book for credit. Contacted the prof who would be most likely to support me in a directed study. Hope she can do it!! **Fingers crossed**

Crisis averted. I will be able to graduate as long as the dean approves this directed study, AND I will be able to create and submit a picture book for publication. Freaking awesome! I have a great prof to guide me too, as she has published numerous children's books. Had a long chat with her today while sitting at a booth for Frosh week.

Had a pub night out with friends tonight, and it was a lot of fun. I think we all needed to kick back and eat greasy food

Awww yeah! Three paycheques this week I guess I calculated wrong what my crazy end of August working spree would amount to, because it's MORE. Whoop whoop!!

Tummy is still upset. Urgh. This is getting old. It's especially not fun at 5 am.

Finally made it to the gym yesterday for some basic weight lifting and have that soreness that tells me I accomplished something

Hard day at work today. Glad to be home! I had wanted to clean the carpets etc... but I am definitely not in the mood for that now. One of my co-workers took my morning shift for me, so now tomorrow I don't have a 12 hour day.

We had a rude guy today who has stuck in my mind. He wanted a reuben sandwich, and pretty much demanded one. I started to explain that the specialty bread was in the freezer but my co-worker explained that by the time the sandwich was assembled, the bread would be thawed. For some reason, dude gave her total attitude. I asked if he wanted to do that or if he wanted regular bread, and he was like "well, apparently SHE knows what I want". I just shrugged and said I'd be a few minutes. Made the sandwich and after I handed it to him: "No lettuce?!" I explained that the recipe doesn't call for lettuce. He took his sandwich and huffed off. Some people's children We're not subway, we don't actually have to make you your hearts' desire.

Ahhh what a weekend. Not. Worked yesterday all day, and today all day. I'm glad I get to sleep in tomorrow! I bought new sheets the other day because ours ripped. Yeah... we broke the bed frame AND ripped the sheets... true story. Anyways, it's like waking up in a hotel bed every morning. And that is how vanilla my life is right now. Ha!

Been playing phone tag with my sister for weeks now. Turns out she is going to Guatemala on Tuesday. Needless to say, I am floored.

Do I want to know how you guys broke the bed and ripped sheets?

When a man and a woman love each other very much... hahaha

I'm more curious about the thought process that led my sister to decide to jet off to Guatemala in the past 2 weeks. In a way I think getting sick has been really good for her. She's so spontaneous now and is out there embracing life!

Rotf, that's hilarious. I can honestly say I have never ripped the sheets. Broke a bed, yes, ripped sheets? That's a whole other league.

I was about to ask if this was the sick sister. So she's just going for a holiday?

Pretty much I guess. My brother said it was something for learning Spanish. She's been taking it off and on, but not since she got sick, really. She's pretty much back to normal now-- just can't drive anymore.

Why can't she drive?