Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 15

Thread: Anybody's ex date the opposite?

  1. #1
    NCforME
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    616
    Thanked
    1

    Anybody's ex date the opposite?

    My ex is dating the complete opposite of me or at least what I perceive as it. Low education, low ambition, drinks too much and smokes (if I touched cigarette while we dated I would have been yelled at).

    It's just weird because I have left this relationship with a list of things I loved about her and will look for in the next girl. I of course also have a list of things she didn't have that I'm now looking for.

    But, it's odd because I would have thought I would have seen some of myself in her next BF because certainly there will be some traits of her in my next GF.

    I'm starting to think my ex needs to fix men. When we started dating I was being bit of a loser because I was depressed. This guy though just seems like complete loser.

  2. #2
    camus154
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    5,612
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    88
    I don't keep my nose in my ex's business long enough to find out

  3. #3
    Batya33
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    42,372
    Thanked
    2702
    You're defining that person as "opposite" based on what you believe the person does but you have no idea if his personality and the way he interacts with her is similar to the way it was in your relationship.

  4. #4
    NCforME
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    616
    Thanked
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by camus154 [Register to see the link]
    I don't keep my nose in my ex's business long enough to find out
    Haha...unfortunately we run in close circles. So our mutual friends have told me about him. Honestly, that switch has flipped, I don't care about her in that way anymore. I'm seeing other women.

  5. #5
    NCforME
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    616
    Thanked
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by Batya33 [Register to see the link]
    You're defining that person as "opposite" based on what you believe the person does but you have no idea if his personality and the way he interacts with her is similar to the way it was in your relationship.
    True, in some respect but I'm pretty good at reading a book by its cover.

    I'm just starting to think what ever my ex saw in me is not what I wanted her to see.

  6. #6
    NCforME
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    616
    Thanked
    1
    It's just odd that things that were unacceptable in one relationship would all of a sudden be acceptable in another.

  7. #7
    blackhawks1287
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    701
    Quote Originally Posted by NCforME [Register to see the link]
    It's just odd that things that were unacceptable in one relationship would all of a sudden be acceptable in another.
    It is strange isn't it...

    I am right there with you. I no longer care, but I do find it interesting...

  8. #8
    SorrowandPain
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    394
    Gender
    Male
    My ex dumped me for a clone of me.

  9. #9
    thelastsong
    Silver Member thelastsong's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    US
    Posts
    399
    Gender
    Female
    I think I can provide some insight as to why this happens. One of my best friends is thinking about breaking things off with her boyfriend because she feels they are going in different directions. She is very serious and focused on her future, but he's content to live in the moment and goof off. She has recently found herself attracted to a new guy who exhibits the drive and passion for success that she misses in her current boyfriend.

    In other words, relationships sometimes end because one person is lacking something or wants their partner to change in some way. If you dump your boyfriend because he's too clingy, for example, you might next date a rather distant guy and find him to be a breath of fresh air. All the things that annoy you about your current partner might drive you to seek the opposite in your next.

  10. #10
    Nick Lansing
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    382
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    2
    Quote Originally Posted by thelastsong [Register to see the link]
    In other words, relationships sometimes end because one person is lacking something or wants their partner to change in some way. If you dump your boyfriend because he's too clingy, for example, you might next date a rather distant guy and find him to be a breath of fresh air. All the things that annoy you about your current partner might drive you to seek the opposite in your next.
    Yeah, I think this is not at all uncommon in rebound-type relationships. It has definitely happened to me a couple times, and I've done it too. You subconsciously gravitate toward someone who (seems to) represent what the person you've just dumped lacks.

    "Oh, this is so much better!! He was so possessive, and this guy lets me be me!" etc. etc.

    The novelty wears off though, and eventually you revert to type... which may be your ex or someone else who's more similar to the ex.

  11.  

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Top Threads
How long will it take?
My boyfriend and I broke up 9 days ago but haven't been in contact for 2 days. Well we broke up cause he wants to be single and experience life. I'm
Hurting
It's been 10 days. It still hurts as much as the first day. I want to see him. To make it all feel better. Just to talk to him. I can't stop thinking
No contact help
It's been 2 weeks since we broke up. My heart is still as broken as it was on the first day. I've tried doing stuff to distract me but nothing helps
I need some advice on my situation
So I was dumped a month and a bit ago by my girlfriend of 6 years. And as you could have guessed I didnt want to lose her but i gave her the reason
Advice please on the best way to respond to first contact from an ex after years
Hi, I would like some advice on how to respond to an ex who just got in touch with me about 2.5 years after we broke up. She broke up with me, I
A week of no contact and I want her back
It's been a week of no contact, 4 years together and go to the same church. Should I contact her? It was not really mutual she broke up with me for
Hurting...and scared
Hi everyone, I apologize ahead of time for this incredibly long post but for everyone to truly understand the situation, I felt it was necessary

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Dating younger guy 24 years difference
I am 50 yrs old dating a 26 yrs old guy. We been dating each other for a couple months things are great between us. He told me he will always be
Boyfriend gets very angry if I mention his ex, is this normal?
Hi everyone! My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 5months. He broke up with his ex and a year and a half ago. 7 months after they
Should I let my boyfriend stay overnight with his friends?
Hi there. Firstly thank you for reading this post. I am a new member to this forum, and also will soon be new immigrant of the UK so basically there
Is this abuse?
Iím desperate for some advice. Iíve been with my partner for nearly 2 years and everything has been ok, except from when he drinks. I really do not
Is there hope for me?
Me and my girlfriend of two years had been talking about moving in together lately. We didn't actually go look at any place in person, but browsed a
Bringing up trust issues at the start of a new relationship? My situation...
Haven't been on these boards since my last break up a couple years ago, and here I am about to begin a new relationship with feelings from the last
Whats my next move - Dating a girl fresh out of a relationship
Hey guys, So heres the deal. Met a girl in class and I asked her out. Her answer was "maybe" because she didn't want to say no to me but just
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •