Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 15

Thread: Anybody's ex date the opposite?

  1. #1
    NCforME
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    616
    Thanked
    1

    Anybody's ex date the opposite?

    My ex is dating the complete opposite of me or at least what I perceive as it. Low education, low ambition, drinks too much and smokes (if I touched cigarette while we dated I would have been yelled at).

    It's just weird because I have left this relationship with a list of things I loved about her and will look for in the next girl. I of course also have a list of things she didn't have that I'm now looking for.

    But, it's odd because I would have thought I would have seen some of myself in her next BF because certainly there will be some traits of her in my next GF.

    I'm starting to think my ex needs to fix men. When we started dating I was being bit of a loser because I was depressed. This guy though just seems like complete loser.

  2. #2
    camus154
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    5,612
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    88
    I don't keep my nose in my ex's business long enough to find out

  3. #3
    Batya33
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    43,115
    Thanked
    3085
    You're defining that person as "opposite" based on what you believe the person does but you have no idea if his personality and the way he interacts with her is similar to the way it was in your relationship.

  4. #4
    NCforME
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    616
    Thanked
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by camus154 [Register to see the link]
    I don't keep my nose in my ex's business long enough to find out
    Haha...unfortunately we run in close circles. So our mutual friends have told me about him. Honestly, that switch has flipped, I don't care about her in that way anymore. I'm seeing other women.

  5. #5
    NCforME
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    616
    Thanked
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by Batya33 [Register to see the link]
    You're defining that person as "opposite" based on what you believe the person does but you have no idea if his personality and the way he interacts with her is similar to the way it was in your relationship.
    True, in some respect but I'm pretty good at reading a book by its cover.

    I'm just starting to think what ever my ex saw in me is not what I wanted her to see.

  6. #6
    NCforME
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    616
    Thanked
    1
    It's just odd that things that were unacceptable in one relationship would all of a sudden be acceptable in another.

  7. #7
    blackhawks1287
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    701
    Quote Originally Posted by NCforME [Register to see the link]
    It's just odd that things that were unacceptable in one relationship would all of a sudden be acceptable in another.
    It is strange isn't it...

    I am right there with you. I no longer care, but I do find it interesting...

  8. #8
    SorrowandPain
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    394
    Gender
    Male
    My ex dumped me for a clone of me.

  9. #9
    thelastsong
    Silver Member thelastsong's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    US
    Posts
    399
    Gender
    Female
    I think I can provide some insight as to why this happens. One of my best friends is thinking about breaking things off with her boyfriend because she feels they are going in different directions. She is very serious and focused on her future, but he's content to live in the moment and goof off. She has recently found herself attracted to a new guy who exhibits the drive and passion for success that she misses in her current boyfriend.

    In other words, relationships sometimes end because one person is lacking something or wants their partner to change in some way. If you dump your boyfriend because he's too clingy, for example, you might next date a rather distant guy and find him to be a breath of fresh air. All the things that annoy you about your current partner might drive you to seek the opposite in your next.

  10. #10
    Nick Lansing
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    382
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    2
    Quote Originally Posted by thelastsong [Register to see the link]
    In other words, relationships sometimes end because one person is lacking something or wants their partner to change in some way. If you dump your boyfriend because he's too clingy, for example, you might next date a rather distant guy and find him to be a breath of fresh air. All the things that annoy you about your current partner might drive you to seek the opposite in your next.
    Yeah, I think this is not at all uncommon in rebound-type relationships. It has definitely happened to me a couple times, and I've done it too. You subconsciously gravitate toward someone who (seems to) represent what the person you've just dumped lacks.

    "Oh, this is so much better!! He was so possessive, and this guy lets me be me!" etc. etc.

    The novelty wears off though, and eventually you revert to type... which may be your ex or someone else who's more similar to the ex.

  11.  

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Top Threads
Ex wants to get back together after he had rebound sex
Long story short me (27f) and my ex-boyfriend (30m) have been together for +6 years (4 living together). The relationship has been a fairy tale and
Should I Break No Contact for her Birthday?
I'll do my best to keep this short. So I broke up with my girlfriend of 8 months earlier this year. The breakup went pretty well considering she
How far should I go with unfriending/blocking on social media?
Hi all, I'm going hard no contact. She originally unfriended me on Snap and Twitter. I recently unfriended her on FB and IG. I also went a step
I love you, but I'm not in love with you.
So my fiancÚ of 7.5 years has decided she isn't in love with me anymore so has broken up with me. Our situation is very complicated we have a 2.5
Help me....please.
Me and my ex gf stayed for 4years and 8mos. Everytime we walk,eat,sleep, almost everytime; she's crying and saying ilove you. .......most of the
A confusing situation
Alright I have a weird situation and never really had to deal with it before....A year ago I found out that my girlfriend of 4 years and mother of my
Should I Reach Out...?
I'd love some advice on this one... Okay, i've posted a lot of drama elsewhere on here, but just to give backstory: with a guy 7 years on and off

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
I love you, but I'm not in love with you.
So my fiancÚ of 7.5 years has decided she isn't in love with me anymore so has broken up with me. Our situation is very complicated we have a 2.5
How far should I go with unfriending/blocking on social media?
Hi all, I'm going hard no contact. She originally unfriended me on Snap and Twitter. I recently unfriended her on FB and IG. I also went a step
missing atm
I think what I miss at the moment is having a friend to talk to like we used to. She became the only person I really talked to for the better part
Mum boyfriend inapropriate
Hi everyone, thought i would share an update on whats happened so far. Thankyou all for helping me out yesterday, everything you all said was really
Girlfriend always mad at me
Me and my girlfriend have been togetehr for almost a year. I love her more than anything and i know shes not cheating on me or anything like that
I [F/26] found underwear in my boyfriend's [M/30] pocket.
I've been with my boyfriend for over a year. Recently, my boyfriend asked me to look for some money, so I looked everywhere and I couldn't find it. I
Ex gf text me out of the blue
I guess I just want some feedback and honest replies as my head is completely gone again. Me and my ex gf have been in no contact for a few months
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •