Jump to content

Looking to have our first threesome-need advice on finding 3rd party and how to


Miss Kitty

Recommended Posts

My boyfriend and I were recently discussing our fetishes and fantasies and I came out to him that I am bisexual and he came out that he's always wanted to have a mff threesome. I have never had one and wasn't even sure how to do it (positioning etc.). I've looked it up online and found some positions I like and some great advice such as setting boundaries ahead of time ( my rules are, pay more attention to me than her and no penetration with her). The main issue is how to find another person. We met a girl at a video game store that we both think is pretty cute, so we are going to try to get to know her and hope for the best. Another possibility is a mutual friend of ours. She's bisexual and I've had a crush on her for a while. Austin (my bf) thinks she's beautiful as well. She's always asking me about my sex life with Austin and suggesting things for he and I to do. She's very kinky. I told her we were going to try to have a threesome and she asked me to tell her how it goes when we find the right girl. I'd like to ask her, but she's a co-worker. In fact, I am a cashier, my bf works on the lot there, and she's a head cashier. That would make it so wonderfully kinky if things go right, but could definitely be an issue if things go wrong. However, since she is a good friend, I trust her more than I would someone we don't know as well (important especially for things like stds) and she has a very serious boyfriend that she is very much in love with so I'm really worried about her trying to take mine since she's happy with the one she has.

 

I should also add that I know threesomes can lead to jealousy and awkwardness, etc. However, we are in a point in our relationship when we are very much in love and I believe that we are ready and that this could be a positive thing for our relationship as we explore our sexual side.

 

So,

1. How do we find the right one?

2. How do we ask when we find one we like?

3. Any additional advice about threesomes (other than "don't do it" and "you're boyfriend is a pervert for wanting two women")?

Link to comment
You might try link removed. You'll have to sign up, but I've had an account there for almost 2 years and have had no issues at all in terms of viruses or spam.

 

If you live in or near a bigger city, that site can point the way to finding groups and clubs of like-minded people.

 

Good luck.

 

Thank you. Does the fet stand for fetish? If we have another fetish as well, could we find a threesome partner who's into that as well? Also, how do you know if the people on these sites have STDs or not. I am really worried about that. I am way too young to end up with HIV and never able to have sex again. I have an extreme fear of STDs.

 

I'll check it out though.

Link to comment

Yes, the fet does stand for fetish. My boyfriend and I have them, too...lots of them.

 

As for STDs, I would recommend getting to know someone first, as with any sexual situation. And that's where a club or group may help. Some even go as far as to have their members tested for STDs, so they can "play" safely.

 

Good luck, I hope it helps.

Link to comment
Yes, the fet does stand for fetish. My boyfriend and I have them, too...lots of them.

 

As for STDs, I would recommend getting to know someone first, as with any sexual situation. And that's where a club or group may help. Some even go as far as to have their members tested for STDs, so they can "play" safely.

 

Good luck, I hope it helps.

 

Oh I like the idea of ones that test. How do you find them?

 

I am recently opening up to my fetishes and I agree, they are SO much fun. Austin is helping me to embrace my kinky side. I have recently discovered that I am a furry, I like hetai, I have a foot/shoe fetish and am for the first time opening up to the idea of a threesome. I look forward to exploring more fetishes and fantasies and seeing what else I like.

Link to comment
Another possibility is a mutual friend of ours. She's bisexual and I've had a crush on her for a while. Austin (my bf) thinks she's beautiful as well. She's always asking me about my sex life with Austin and suggesting things for he and I to do. She's very kinky. I told her we were going to try to have a threesome and she asked me to tell her how it goes when we find the right girl. I'd like to ask her, but she's a co-worker. In fact, I am a cashier, my bf works on the lot there, and she's a head cashier.

 

Bad idea to involve a co-worker in your private sexual fantasies at home, IMO.

Link to comment

link removed

 

If you don't already read savage love, you should start! Dan Savage is a great sex advice columnist, he has TONS of articles on this topic.

 

And I agree that getting your coworker involved can get dicey. depends on your jobs though - if you are a cashier at a fast food place, and don't mind getting new jobs if things go horribly wrong, then go for it.

 

I think that ground rules are very very important.

Link to comment
Sorry, IMO= In My Opinion.

 

Some compartments of life should be kept separate I think. You may want to keep sex and work separate, although it seems she already knows too much.

 

Well, she knows so much because we're friends outside of work too. She is one of the few people I came out to about my bisexuality. She then came out to me too. A coworker kept hitting on her so her and I started joking that we're going to run off together cause we're in love. lol. Yeah, we share just about everything, including about sex. She tells me things about her and her bf too. My workplace is strange. The store manager hired his neice. The scheduler has a future daugther in law and her mom working there and several couples (married or dating) work there together. And everyone seems to want to know everything about each other sex life, especially mine and Austins. It's weird.

Link to comment
I'm worried that if you do have the 3some with her, that everyone in the office would find out about it. sounds like it is too chit-chatty there.

 

She's good though about keeping secrets. We'd just have to be careful that we're not acting weird around her. But yeah, that would be bad.

Link to comment
Well, she knows so much because we're friends outside of work too. She is one of the few people I came out to about my bisexuality. She then came out to me too. A coworker kept hitting on her so her and I started joking that we're going to run off together cause we're in love. lol. Yeah, we share just about everything, including about sex. She tells me things about her and her bf too

 

Aside form her being a co-worker, I think it's a bad idea due to the emotional connection that exists here. If you truly want to experiment with a fantasy, choose someone that can leave it at sex and just that. Conflicting emotional connections could mean the demise of your relationship. You want to play and leave it at that, not "love" or "confide" in the 3rd party.

Link to comment

on a side note, i wouldn't discuss your relationship/sex at work anymore. it can be unprofessional and then people try to meddle and whatever. if people ask about your sex life at work, tell them that's private and change the subject. Would you consider hiring an escort to be the 3rd?

Link to comment
on a side note, i wouldn't discuss your relationship/sex at work anymore. it can be unprofessional and then people try to meddle and whatever. if people ask about your sex life at work, tell them that's private and change the subject. Would you consider hiring an escort to be the 3rd?

 

Isn't that illegal? Not to mention way out of my budget, and I would be afraid she'd have an STD of some sort.

Link to comment
Aside form her being a co-worker, I think it's a bad idea due to the emotional connection that exists here. If you truly want to experiment with a fantasy, choose someone that can leave it at sex and just that. Conflicting emotional connections could mean the demise of your relationship. You want to play and leave it at that, not "love" or "confide" in the 3rd party.

 

I had thought about that. That could be an issue. Do you think the girl from the game store would be a good option then ( if she's even into that)?

Link to comment
Isn't that illegal? Not to mention way out of my budget, and I would be afraid she'd have an STD of some sort.

 

well, i suppose it's illegal. but i doubt you would get caught. remember - pretty much anyone can have an STD! just because you know someone, or know that they are your friend doesn't mean that they are clean. and you can use protection as well (dental dams and condoms).

Link to comment
And I agree that getting your coworker involved can get dicey. depends on your jobs though - if you are a cashier at a fast food place, and don't mind getting new jobs if things go horribly wrong, then go for it.

 

Came here to say that. It's not like having to switch to cashiering somewhere else is a major career disaster.

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...