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Thread: Is my coworker maybe interested in me or just being friendly?

  1. #1
    tygerwolf
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    Is my coworker maybe interested in me or just being friendly?

    So, I started a new job in retail this week (I wont give away the company name, but basically im a sales floor associate). I met this guy for the first time at orientation. I sat next to him at the table. I said something funny (in response to something someone said). Apparently, that got his attention. He seemed to think it was hilarious. We introduced ourselves. Nothing crazy about it. However I come to find out that ill be working in his department. He seemed genuinely happy and surprised to have me in his department. I must admit... he's an attractive guy... I was pretty pleased.

    So fast forward to my training week. I come to find out that the guy I thought was so attractive, will be the employee i'll be shadowing (learning from) all week. Haha, nice.

    So since yesterday I have been shadowing him. And since then, I have been questioning whether or not he seems interested in me or if hes just being a friendly mentor and coworker. Hes a great mentor and is extremely helpful, but im trying to figure out if hes trying to get to know me more for other reasons. I'll list some things he does that have led me to wonder. (aside from normal mentor/coworker interaction. Btw, he is not my supervisor. Hes just another employee in my department.)

    - He holds eye contact. A lot. Sometimes it can be a bit intimidating for me. (in regular conversation and work related)
    - Asks me about my personal life, interests, ect (when we are alone.) Seems genuinely thrilled that we have a lot in common.
    - Laughs at my stupid jokes. And tries to make me laugh.
    - He gets teased by his fellow male coworkers about training me (in front of me)
    - Touches me A LOT. Not in a creepy way. But to guide me and sometimes when hes next to me, he'll put his hand on the small of my back, touches my hand to get my attention about something, high fives a lot, hand on my shoulder at times. He does these often.
    - Since he and I have the same interests in film, he told me he needed someone to see movies with. A movie "buddy" if you will.
    - At the end of our first day together, he asked me if I wanted to go see a movie and get a bite to eat. He asked for my number. He called me after work and we met up. We both paid our own way and had a great time. Laughed and joked around throughout the movie and talked a lot at dinner about ourselves.
    - Offers up opportunities to see more movies with me. Talks about other places as well (such as the aquarium. We both love animals.)
    - Brags about me to other people (coworkers and customers. Not just about work related things) Its flattering.
    - Offered me his jacket on a rainy day.
    - On the other hand, hes the sort of guy that says "Man" and "Dude" a lot in conversation with people. Says it to me. I figure its just his thing. Or a sign that he means to just be friends.

    Haha, perhaps im reading into this a bit much. He is a very friendly/outgoing sort of person. His intentions may very well be purely friendly. But what do you think? My intuition is saying that hes wanting to get to know me more for reasons other than friendship.

    What would you make of this? Its only my second official day at work and my gut says hes may be interested. I still haven't decided if I want to pursue something more than friendship. Of course, I have to figure out what his intentions are first.

  2. #2
    DN

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    Yes, he's interested. make sure you subtly make it clear you are into him as well.

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    PaintWithLight
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    Wow, your 2nd day at work and you are already flirting with the idea of unemployment? It is NEVER a good idea to mix romance into your job situation. A breakup or misadventure could have dire consequences. Especially in this economy and with the workplace environment being what it is.

    Be happy that you struck up a nice rapport with a co-worker but leave it at that. You are the new employee and should be focused on becoming indispensable and a great employee. Leave the romantic opportunities alone for now, you do not need any workplace drama.

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    Deciduous
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    Hi tygerwolf,

    Yes, he does seem to have a crush. But he's moving far too quickly and without caution which is always seems to result in buyers remorse in my experience. He may be a geniune guy, but when it comes to your work environment, you want no little suprises. Whirlwind romances tend to have whirlwind endings. You need to establish a clear picture of who he is first. You don't want to find out too late that he is the office Romeo.

    I would strongly advise you focus on finding your feet at work for the next month and make friends with your colleagues first. Opinions on your colleague will leak out bit by bit giving you an impression of his personality. He may not be who you think he is. Only time will tell. Do not worry about him going off you.

    If he has a geniune interest then that interest will grow with time not diminish. Right now he is throwing himself in your path and I would not follow his lead.

    Keep your head. Keep it polite and professional for now. This is a new environment and you want to settle in first before making any decisions about your love life. If it's meant to be, it will be.

    When it comes to the work environment, moving a snails pace and cautiously is best advised.

    Deci

  5. #5
    RelaxByWater84
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    A word of warning here you might not want to date someone from the same you work at. It could make things awkward if things don't work out. I would also see if your company's policy prevents you from dating coworkers.

  6. #6
    tygerwolf
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    Thank you all for your input. So it seems we all agree that he has taken a special interest in me.

    I really have been trying to focus on my work and keep it professional. It just gets difficult when I have to follow him around! lol. I want to be an asset to the company and work well and make friends with all of the employees. For now im going to keep it light and friendly with him I guess, which is what I have been doing. Im cautious when getting to know people but at the same time ive always been told how good I am at "reading" people. I dont get any weird vibes around him. Hes a little older than me so ill be cautious regardless though. But if things develop a little more over time i'll see what happens.

    Hes 28 and im 20. Should the age gap be concerning?

  7. #7
    tygerwolf
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    So he and I are keeping it friendly I think. In the workplace we get our jobs done and do well as a team. Im not sure if other coworkers suspect anything but I do notice some of them watching he and I interact. Perhaps their wondering? (I checked out rules for dating coworkers and its fine. In fact its happened before apparently.)

    But just today, he and I met for lunch and talked. He payed. But we literally just sat and talked for a few hours. Nothing happened. He seems very interested in continuing to see me outside of work but leaves it up to me really. Said I could always call him to hang out anytime. No pressure.

    Do you think this is slow enough? I want to get to know him more, which is why im allowing the interaction. At the same time im getting to know other folks at work. So far they have nothing but good things to say about him. I hear a lot of: "He does a great job." "He has a good head on his shoulders." ect...

  8. #8
    Deciduous
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    Hi tygerwolf,

    Just a note of caution, this can generally happen when we move too fast. [Register to see the link]

    Sweetie, this lad is not your new best friend. You see soulmate. I see 48 hours. Do you get where I'm coming from? Your colleages are hardly going to critise him to a girl they've known for two days. You've some-what romantised him. How about slowing the pace? What's the rush?

    Is he enrolling in the army at the weekend? Going off to war? No? Then focus on the job for the first four weeks. He won't run away. Go out to lunch with your colleagues. You have more than one.

    Maybe he's a lovely lad, but really and truly you are there to help your career. Don't forget that. Let the job come first, love later.

    Good luck

    Deci

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