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Do men regret breaking up with the good girl?


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I think anyone (male or female) can regret dumping their partner. I (male) have been the dumper once and the dumpee once. I didnt regret breaking up with the first girl - I walked away and never looked back - but the second girl did regret her decision to break up with me, and ultimately came back. That doesn't mean women are more likely to regret it, it's just one specific case.

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so what we have here...your ex bf went off with a not so good girl and you wanna know if he will regret it?

 

ever read "Why Men Like * * * * * * es" ?

 

it states why men tire of the "good girls" and its basically because they loose themselves and their own worth in order to give the guy everything they "think" they want....whereas the ' * * * * * * ' has her own thing going on...does things that please her and doesnt need a man to validate her, and basically is a darn sight more interesting than a 'good girl'...

 

just by asking that question, you seem to fall into that 'good girl' in the book i mentioned.

 

you treat him well, he still left...you dont have to ask any questions because you already KNOW its his loss

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I don't like the label "good girl" to describe a woman who treats people with tact and kindness/compassion. "Good girl" sounds more like a woman who acts in a submissive/compliant way and like a girl, not an adult.

 

indeed, my thoughts too. rather like the term "nice guy" which to me seems more like a man who acts polite and nice but really has the same objectives as your regular 'jerk' (to get laid) except its more manipulative and not genuine or inherently nice.

 

all we can do is treat others as we wish to be treat ourselves, with love and compassion and respect. if someone just doesnt click with you even when being that way, then well, that can be life and youre best moving on.

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It's situational like Eocsor said. But I'll go ahead and give you some anecdotal evidence that this happens. There's one girl I broke up with who meets the criteria of being a "good girl." I'm not 100% sure what you mean by that phrase, but I take it to mean that she has great qualities and characteristics. This includes intelligence, ambition, drive, nurturing side, treats you with respect and adoration, etc. Do I regret the end of that relationship? I sure do! But I also recognize that if I hadn't ended it when I did, it would have ended at some point because that was the way the relationship was unfolding. I recognized it, and wanted to sever things before we/I got too deep. That doesn't mean I don't have regrets and that it didn't hurt. Because I do and it did.

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It's situational like Eocsor said. But I'll go ahead and give you some anecdotal evidence that this happens. There's one girl I broke up with who meets the criteria of being a "good girl." I'm not 100% sure what you mean by that phrase, but I take it to mean that she has great qualities and characteristics. This includes intelligence, ambition, drive, nurturing side, treats you with respect and adoration, etc. Do I regret the end of that relationship? I sure do! But I also recognize that if I hadn't ended it when I did, it would have ended at some point because that was the way the relationship was unfolding. I recognized it, and wanted to sever things before we/I got too deep. That doesn't mean I don't have regrets and that it didn't hurt. Because I do and it did.

 

Eocsor: That's exactly the qualities I am talking about. Why did you break up with her if she had all those great qualities. What made you regret? Did you try to get back with her?

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Eocsor: That's exactly the qualities I am talking about. Why did you break up with her if she had all those great qualities. What made you regret? Did you try to get back with her?

 

Hon, what I am hearing from this story was that although she was a great person, she wasn't right for him (because it would have ended at some point).

 

I hope you aren't trying to hope for some guy to come back out of regret. Best bet is to move on as best you can.

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I think that if you don't have regrets about screwing someone around and you are able to "just move on" you may have some deep issues the need to be addressed. Maybe sociopathic. I think that a lot of people are able to put off uncomfortable thoughts for a while but they WILL catch up with them later down the line and it will be much harder to deal with then.

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Years ago, I had a devastating breakup which left me mentally paralyzed. I couldn't go to work without crying and I couldn't eat for days. My ex at the time moved on, by focusing on other things like remodeling his home and hanging out with friends. I was shocked that he had so much strength when I was such a mess and felt so pathetic. Almost a year after our breakup, he came back and the tables were turned. He wanted me back, but I was already with someone. Fast forward ten years, I feel like the same is happening with my most recent ex. I can't stop thinking about him and have trouble letting go. Yet, with him, he can just walk away so easily. We still have mutual friends and they tell me that he's been working hard on promoting his business. I guess I am just weak, because I can hardly get out of bed and function. I don't know how my ex has the strength.

 

In both cases, my ex would tell me how they've never met anyone who cared for them so much. I know they both loved me. My most recent ex tells he is not ready for a relationship.

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Eocsor: That's exactly the qualities I am talking about. Why did you break up with her if she had all those great qualities. What made you regret? Did you try to get back with her?

 

I'm actually curious to hear this, too. If this girl was so great then why wasn't she right for you?

 

One thing to remember is, just because a guy leaves doesn't mean he's looking for something "better." I've had guys leave me because I wasn't religious enough, because I didn't "dote" on them enough, whatever. Had nothing to do with my looks, my achievements or my personality. I have had exes leave without giving me a reason and end up with women who are, by all objective accounts, the bottom of society's barrel as far as looks and attitude...but it'll be a girl who cooks for him every night, or allows him to engage in an open relationship, or who accepts everything he says as gospel. Has nothing to do with me; I know my worth and I am free to believe that whatever I couldn't offer a guy who leaves is nothing that I'd really find very important anyway.

 

Be a "good girl" if that's how you feel most comfortable, as long as it doesn't interfere with your emotional and mental health. If somebody doesn't want it then assume he wants a woman who's something you aren't (who knows? She may be a dominatrix who beats him twice a day. Not something I'm considering getting into anyway!)

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You mean a man. I was the best man my ex will ever meet in her life PERIOD! I was the man from the movies, from the romance novels. She left me 7 mos. ago for another man and has never contacted me. Women do it too. I think it says more about them than it does the other.(I'm NOT saying that I or anyone is perfect)

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I am sorry you are going through this symbiot. I have been on both sides of the track. My first love was the best bf I've ever had. I still regret it to this day of letting him go. Now..my recent ex broke up with me even though I was the best gf he's ever had. It sucks that no matter how much I tried, he still walked away. It's been a month and the pain is excruciating as ever. I look forward to sleeping every night, because that's when I actually don't think about him.

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There is so much that goes into making a relationship work. People have to be on the same page, with the same goals and in the same place in life to make them work. Timing is very important. Yes people can grow together but it takes work. A lot of times it just isn't the right time.

 

I think that's exactly what happened in my case. My ex was just starting his business. We live in two different cities. He's still very immature and has not had a serious relationship for 7 years until me.

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