Need help to calm down

So my guy called me a while ago,we talked for a while and he asked me to send some resumes for him.I went away to the computer to do it and left my mobile in my room.About 15 minutes later I got back to my room and saw there was a missed call from him.I tried calling back but his mobile is of.I was going to call him anyway(before seeing his missed call) cause I had to ask him the number of some of his documents to fill the aplication form on the site he asked me to send his resume.Anyway I tried a few more times but it has been of for like half hour now already.And now Im freaking out and have like this urge to keep calling compulsively(Im holding myself to not do that).Can anybody please tell me something to help me to calm down?

Yes, tell yourself that there is no issue here to freak out over (because that's true).

He probably had to turn his phone off as his wife (or "aunt") just got home from work.

I might add that I checked and I have called him 5 times on his main number and twice on his other number(I thought maybe his main number could have stoped working like happened once).

He probably had to turn his phone off as his wife (or "aunt") just got home from work.

He is at work now,he changed his work time to work from afternoons to late of night.

Anusha, stop calling him. His phone is off, so it won't do you any good to call him any more than you already have. It sounds like you've called him a total of seven times, just while his phone has been off. That's excessive.

He's either a) busy, b) with his wife/girlfriend/"aunt", or c) his phone is dead.

I don't mean to derail the thread, but I want to point out what many members on this forum have tried to tell you already: You cannot expect normal "relationship" behavior out of this guy, as this is not a "relationship" to begin with. So there is no reason to freak out.

I just dont get why his phone is of.What you think happened? His batery finished for example?

Anusha, what do you think happened? Why do you think his phone is off?

I think he turns his phone off because you are annoying him with your incessant phone calls!!!!!!

Anusha, what do you think happened? Why do you think his phone is off?

First I thought he just had to turn it of cause one of the managers was near or anything like that.But if it was that he would have put it on again and not still be of after more than 1 hour.So Im starting to think that his batery finished.At least I cant think on anything I might have done or said on our last talk that caused him to do that(we didnt discuss or anything).

I think he turns his phone off because you are annoying him with your incessant phone calls!!!!!!

It was HIM who called me when we talked.And if he was anoyed why he called me back after the last call?(there was a missed call from him).

WOW!! Now I went back and read your other thread. You pay his bills including your alimony??

I agree 100% with what Penelope said on your other thread.:

Now it all starts making sense, I have been wondering why he is putting up with your insecurity and the need to have constant contact - you are his cash cow.

Anusha, this is a really, really bad sign that you have so little self esteem that you need to 'buy' someone to be in a relationship with you.

You need to get out of the relationship and start working on the issues that make you anxious, insecure, and have such a bad image of yourself that you can't recognize if someone is taking advantage of you.

Anusha - you know he's lying about working nights now, right? He told you that so he could spend more time with his wife/GF and not have you melt down over it. Since you're no longer bankrolling him like you had been, then you can't expect him to make more time for you. Be realistic. Like we've been saying - the amount of time you will get from him is the amount you are willing to purchase.

Be happy he's asked you to even do work for him. It's still a connection, right?

Because he does not genuinely like you.

Because he is only using you for money and to do favors for him.

Because he is involved in a real relationship with someone else.

Because he has no interest in talking to you unless he needs something (see above 3 statements).

But you know all of that.

I'm no psychologist, but you seem to be very obsessive-compulsive. I've read some of your other threads...you freak out about every little thing, and that's just not healthy for you.

I don't know how old you are, but if you don't get this under control NOW, I guarantee you that it will not only get worse, you will ruin multiple future relationships because of it.

How do I know? Because I used to be like this, and I drove several good guys away because of it. Thank goodness my current boyfriend helped me to "see the light", as it were, but I went through a LOT of pain in the meantime. And like a recovering alcoholic, it's still work for me not to freak out over every little thing that doesn't quite go my way, but I can promise you that life is a lot less stressful now that I have it more under control.

Please consider working on this behavior, it's honestly for your own good.

It was HIM who called me when we talked.

Because he NEEDED something.

It was HIM who called me when we talked.And if he was anoyed why he called me back after the last call?(there was a missed call from him).

OK, now after reading your thread where you say you pay for him all the time, including his bills and child support, and that his "aunt" doesn't like him dating, I'm 99% sure he has a wife/gf that he lives with and he turns off his phone so his other woman doesn't find out about Bank of Anusha.

Just to explain it better.He called me,I was in the kitchen having dinner and my mobile was on my room.About 10 minutes later I saw his missed call and called him back,we talked for a few minutes.I went to the computer to send the resumes and 15 minutes later when I got to my room I saw there was a missed call from him(he called about 2 minutes after we hang up,I guess he probably had forgot to say something).I call him back and his phone is of.

OK, now after reading your thread where you say you pay for him all the time, including his bills and child support, and that his "aunt" doesn't like him dating, I'm 99% sure he has a wife/gf that he lives with and he turns off his phone so his other woman doesn't find out about Bank of Anusha.

He is absolutely married. I've asked many times whether she's actually spoken to the "aunt," but she refuses to answer. What's sad is that I don't think him being married would matter.

Because he NEEDED something.

Ok but after that call he called back again when I went away to the computer.If he didnt want to talk to me anymore,why he called? It doesnt make sense to me.

He is absolutely married. I've asked many times whether she's actually spoken to the "aunt," but she refuses to answer. What's sad is that I don't think him being married would matter.

I think once he has bled her accounts dry, he will be gone for good.

Ok but after that call he called back again when I went away to the computer.If he didnt want to talk to me anymore,why he called? It doesnt make sense to me.

It makes perfect sense. Wife/gf came home early.

And yes to be honest I have considerated the posibility that maybe he was lieing about working at nights.That maybe he had just made that up so we wouldnt need to meet often anymore.But monday I did something to confirm that.I asked to meet him in the morning(if he was still working on his usual time he wouldnt be able to have meet me).And I meet him again on his break(at night).So I think that proves that he really changed his work times.

Ok but after that call he called back again when I went away to the computer.If he didnt want to talk to me anymore,why he called? It doesnt make sense to me.

He probably had another chore for you to do, and then his wife/girlfriend came home.

Your freaking out when you miss his call and freaking out when his phone gets cut off freaks me out.

I see after reading through this thread there is more to the story as to why he is putting up with your behavior.