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Thread: violated last night

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by agent
    I completely agree with this advice. Whether you feel safe enough to report this, talking it through with someone who is there solely to help you is a very good idea.
    The only problem with this is too much time will pass. She needs help now and a rape kit will be useless if not done soon. The police can best advice her. This is a unique situation. She is trapped in the house due to weather conditions...

  2. #22
    Gold Member peanutbutterandjelly's Avatar
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    i dont feel comfortable telling my friends, because they are better friends with the guy than me. I only met these people like 3 months ago and I dont feel close enough to any of them to tell them what one of their friends did to me. A couple of people who dont have power have come to the house im at, but the highways to get back to my town are still closed, plus I dont have a ride yet other than that guy. I really dont want to ride home with him, so i think im going to have to wait until he leaves to ask someone else for a ride. im upstairs in one of my friends rooms right now, but im going to have to join the group in a little while. I just cant sit in a room all by myself.

    i dont really think i should report it to the police because i dont know what good it would do. I dont have any marks on me and didnt put up a real fight so its really just my word against his. I feel like it would make things worse if i went to the police. emotionally, i dont think i could handle it. I think it would be easier for me just to learn from the situation. i know if i call a hotline they will try to get the details and have me report it. I willingly just gave in after a while so i basically consented, i didnt scream or anything. i feel so stupid. looking back i just wish i screamed or something.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member greywolf's Avatar
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    I can understand why you didn't want your friends to know. In that situation, I'd probably feel too humiliated to let other people know what was going on, or feel bad about causing trouble for someone that I considered a friend. Like others have said, this isn't your fault.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member WockaWocka's Avatar
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    If you don't feel comfortable calling the police then please at least call the National Sexual Assault Hotline @ 1.800.656.HOPE. It's free and confidential. The group that sponsors it has an outstanding reputation.

    Also it may not be impossible for you to leave the house - there are other people in the area who are receiving emergency transport for various reasons. Being stuck in the same house as your attacker seems like an excellent reason to offer you transportation to a medical clinic. If you haven't yet showered they could do a rape kit. Talk with the hotline about this. They can either help give you enough confidence to call police yourself or else they may be able to contact them as an advocate on your behalf.

    Good luck, stay strong, this wasn't your fault!

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  6. #25
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    You did not give in! You said no, multiple times. If you go to a hospital now you can get a rape kit done. Please believe us when we say this isn't your fault. Don't let him get away with violating you, he had no right

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by WockaWocka
    If you don't feel comfortable calling the police then please at least call the National Sexual Assault Hotline @ 1.800.656.HOPE. It's free and confidential. The group that sponsors it has an outstanding reputation.

    Also it may not be impossible for you to leave the house - there are other people in the area who are receiving emergency transport for various reasons. Being stuck in the same house as your attacker seems like an excellent reason to offer you transportation to a medical clinic. If you haven't yet showered they could do a rape kit. Talk with the hotline about this. They can either help give you enough confidence to call police yourself or else they may be able to contact them as an advocate on your behalf.

    Good luck, stay strong, this wasn't your fault!
    This, completely. Listening to this poster would be very smart, it's great advice.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member avman's Avatar
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    Most (though not all) police departments are extremely compassionate with sexual assault victims. Especially if you don't feel safe in the house with him there I would think that's all the more reason to call and report it. They can offer you safe passage, a trip to the hospital to be checked, and some protection. Even if charges are never formally filed or the case isn't prosecuted, the police can help you in the immediate term.

    This isn't your fault. You don't have to worry about "proving" this to the police. Proof is the job of a prosecutor. You just need to heal and focus on yourself.

    You are going to be ok.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member OptomisticGirl's Avatar
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    Oh M&H.

    You need to report it. Even if nothing comes of it and he slim balls his way out of it, you need to report it. As a victim of sexual assault, I know it's the first step you can take in the healing process. He raped you. You said no and continued to move away from him. There was no consent. Please do not think 'what ifs', from personal experience those 'what ifs' will haunt you forever if you let yourself think it.

    You need to get out of that house and checked out. What if he has a STD? You need to get the morning after pill just in case, God forbid, you are pregnant. You can't ignore this M&H. I know all you want to do is put your head down and just walk, I have been there, but for your future body sake you need to get checked out. Even if you don't report him, get checked out.

    *hugs*

  10. #29
    Platinum Member imsuperman's Avatar
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    It still happened against your will if you wished you had screamed. I think you need to let the police know. They will let you know what needs to be done from there. Look their number up online and make the call.
    Last edited by imsuperman; 08-28-2011 at 06:52 PM.

  11. #30
    Gold Member peanutbutterandjelly's Avatar
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    I finally made it home safely. Now that I'm home by myself, I'm feeling much better but yesterday was rough. It was pretty obvious that he knew what he did was very wrong. He didn't even try to talk to me or even look me in the face all day long. We both had to spend the night over there again last night, but I stayed upstairs and he stayed downstairs. I felt okay with that because I knew if he tried anything, I was gonna make sure everyone heard. I'm still shaken up a bit, but now that I'm home I at least feel safe.

    I havn't told anyone about it. I came close to telling some of my friends, but I dont think I'm going to, at least not anytime soon. I don't want to get the police involved, I just want to forget about the whole thing. i still feel like it was my fault for letting that happen to me though. Looking back, theres so much I could have done to at least try to stop it. I dont know why i gave up so easily. I guess in my mind i just thought I would rather get it over with than put up a fight and have it take forever. I was scared to yell for my friends for some reason, I still dont know why. Everything just happened really fast.

    i know i didnt follow the advice in this thread. i guess its because im embarrassed and scared of going to the police or the hospital. i know i dont want to press charges so theres really no point. i just have to learn from the mistake i made.

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