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has an ex ever come back after saying never?


carrie8484

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Guys Im curious

Has your ex ever come back after saying the following

 

''I'm not in love with you anymore''

''I do not see us ever being together''

''I see you as only a friend and that will never change''

''We will never get back together''

 

?

Yes my ex has said these things to me, so of course I do not think he will come back, but a previous ex has come back after saying similar and I just want to know if others have experienced the return of the ''never'' ex??

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Anything is possible i guess, and i'm sure it has already happened to some people but id say it's very unlikely so don't expect it.

At least your ex was upfront and honest about it. mine keeps saying things like "feelings are still there" "You mean a lot to me" etc, but acts nothing like it and just gives me false hopes.

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I was the dumpee and told her these things and she was very upset about it...her wanting to remain friends, or in her life somehow.

 

Personally in my case where there were lies and infidelity (found after after BU)...I don't see myself coming back in any form...I am not bitter or angry about it, but I just don't see the point in investing time in something that is not there anymore. If she reaches out fine, but I am not going to be the one to do so...maybe a happy birthday to be the bigger person...but I don't need someone like that in my life.

 

I think it is different for everybody and everyone has their own way of dealing with it. But Like hausser said...it all depends on the time and the circumstances.

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Depends on the circumstances, I suppose. People do say things that, at the time, they truly believe, and they change their minds later. My ex once told me "I'm not the one for you -- you know it, and I know it" -- and we ended up getting "back together" -- sort of -- for awhile. It didn't last, though. Feelings DO change, but...I'd be wary of someone who said he didn't love me anymore or we were only friends and that was all we'd ever be who later "changed his mind" and wanted me back. I know everyone's different, but if I love someone, I love them, and if I don't, I don't. I can't imagine a situation for me in which, if the love was REALLY gone, that it would come back and I'd try to get back with the person.

 

Your best bet is to take his word for it and live your life as if he were gone and that you're not getting back with him. If he changes his mind at some point and wants to try again, you can decide then what you want to do. Just don't pin your hopes on it. Try to move forward without him even though it may be really hard.

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But what if he says " I love you so much but its generally not working out" cos I don't respect his wishes of sleepovers and holidays .. but he knew what he got himself in for in this relationship. I'm Filipino. 20. Female. and my parents wishes was for none of these until I finish University which is 1 more year. And I let him know that 1 more year. Lets plan something to look forward to... I just want to respect my parents.

 

We been together 2 years. He's been waiting for that. Things have already happened. He feels as though and i quote " We have nothing, no purpose, no goals, nothing to look forward to" ..

 

and he just says he cant wait another year, no more.

 

 

 

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Yes, this happened to me quite recently with my ex fiancee. He ended our relationship over three years ago and though we've stayed in minimal contact, he recently sent me a message that said, "I think I made an enormous mistake--I think you're the one I'm supposed to spend my life with." There was a time I would have given anything to read those words or hear him say that or anything remotely close to that, but now three years have passed, and I am so totally over that relationship. It surprises the hell out of me that I can say (or write) that---but, it is true. Let me add that it isn't "time" that helped me heal from that relationship but understanding of what the relationship and we the two in the relationship lacked at that time.

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Yes, that happened to me almost a year after a breakup only he was not so nice about how he worded the things you outlined and there was another woman. When he contacted me, I had well and truly moved on, and after that breakup, I doubt I would ever have gone back to him anyway. I don't regret that decision either, just wish I ended the relationship a lot sooner.

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Yes, i think it's fairly common actually. Those first few weeks after break-up where the dumpee begs and pleads and bargains tend to strengthen the dumper's resolve, and you tend to see a lot of "No! Never! put it out of you mind! I don't love you! I never DID love you! We will NEVER get back together!"

 

But of course during such times neither party is really thinking straight.

 

The right thing to do, though, is to say, "OK then, well I wish you felt differently, but it's your life. So long." Once you show some self-respect and go away, they will slowly start to miss you. They may not come back, but they will start to miss you if you get on with your life.

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i thought couple weeks should be enough at NC so we been texting now and then after she broke up. she didnt do it to be with anyone else. nor because she was unsure . i gave her reasons, so i don`t blame her. i don`t know what else to do.

Today`s conversation thru texts, those are her replies

  • I don`t feel like texting like we use too
  • it should be pretty clear to u by now that things will never be like they were
  • it has nothing to do with not being ready, i don`t want it
  • so let it be this is getting old
  • i don`t mind talking/texting here and there but it def is not going to be an everyday thing
  • i don`t feel the same , never will and that`s something u will have to understand and respect, so i would like for you to stop mentioning how things were. could be,, etc, if you need to talk that`s fine but im not gonna be doing it on daily basis
  • i don`t mean to come off rude but i don1t want you having high hopes for something that will never happen

am i supposed to just let it go and move on,, or what,, i need some advice, this is ruining my mind and i need to stop it. i need your thoughts and how to interpret what she said.

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The saying "never say never" is something which really isn't followed enough. It was a blessing in disguise when my ex-boyfriend called off our relationship, but of course I didn't see this at the time. Asked if things would be different if our circumstances were different, he responded that it wasn't our circumstances, and that we really did have no future together. Six months later, guess what's happened...the return of the "never" ex, as you put it. Take reassurance that you are wise enough never to say never, unlike your ex boyfriend

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wolflovesmoon - why would you think a couple of weeks would be enough NC?? You need to think more along the lines of a couple/few months. Do you not see from her texts that she really does want you to leave her alone?? You don't need to 'interpret' what she said - just accept it!! At this moment in time, this IS how she feels!! In the future; that may change, but it certainly will NOT change if you continue to pester (bug) her. Please - let her be....

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i Agree,, and that`s what i will do.. after she said that she called me but i didn`t answer. its time to let go

 

wolflovesmoon - why would you think a couple of weeks would be enough NC?? You need to think more along the lines of a couple/few months. Do you not see from her texts that she really does want you to leave her alone?? You don't need to 'interpret' what she said - just accept it!! At this moment in time, this IS how she feels!! In the future; that may change, but it certainly will NOT change if you continue to pester (bug) her. Please - let her be....
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