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Thread: Why are some guys so mean to girls they like

  1. #1
    Reflective
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    Why are some guys so mean to girls they like

    I thought that if you usually really like someone, you are often very nice towards them? Why be mean?
    I get playful teasing but some guys take it to another level. I have seen woman do it to. But I don't get it.usually when I really like someone, I am nice towards them.. Isn't that how it works?
    What I mean is guys that are teasing you one on one but when around others especially, it's like a knee jerk reaction for them to start acting like d bags? This one guy I thought he and I were friends but he seems to make fun of me endlessly. I'm down to earth so i usually laugh about it you know the height jokes etc but now he seems to pick on me about every little aspect of me?

    I wear reading glasses, those rayban lookalikes except they are Calvin Klein and well when we were infront of everyone for some reason he said out loud, "Why are you wearing glasses you look like such a nerd! Haha wow why did you choose THOSE frames? Man, you're short and you wear glasses what a nerd!" I mean I actually felt self conscious and down about myself. I didn't get it at all... he's nice to me the first time we met we got along but than all of a sudden he's been especially mean to me almost in a preoccupied manner, he jumps into MY conversations again just to belittle something he sees. So I don't get it.? Few weeks ago he told me he thinks I'm really pretty, and cute it was awkwRd because I didn't expect HIM to say that and he is being a jerk...

  2. #2
    In the Dark
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    Lol this reminds me of primary school.
    The boy picking on the girl because he doesn't know any other way to react, to say he likes them.

    Some people carry on the behavior to an extent I guess.
    If he is doing it in front of peers, it's because he is a douche and or insecurity issues.
    Bring down the gfs confidence so that they don't feel like talking to other male peers.
    Stating things which may appear slightly out of the norm to the people around them so you feel like an out cast and in hopes that people think the same about you sop they are not interested in you.

    People can be pretty unbelievable in their actions and ulterior motives.

  3. #3
    Reflective
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    Quote Originally Posted by In the Dark [Register to see the link]
    Lol this reminds me of primary school.
    The boy picking on the girl because he doesn't know any other way to react, to say he likes them.

    Some people carry on the behavior to an extent I guess.
    If he is doing it in front of peers, it's because he is a douche and or insecurity issues.
    Bring down the gfs confidence so that they don't feel like talking to other male peers.
    Stating things which may appear slightly out of the norm to the people around them so you feel like an out cast and in hopes that people think the same about you sop they are not interested in you.

    People can be pretty unbelievable in their actions and ulterior motives.
    Yeah but we are not in primary school that is the funny thing. I don't get it when I like someone I try to get to know them and I am nice to them. But not this guy! It's the first time a guy has been this way with me. I often get shy guys or guys that are upfront but he is just mean. is he just an unhappy person? Why would anyone do that?

  4. #4
    DaveCummings
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    I have two things to say about this. The first is, that women seem to make it generally hard to just like them and that be enough to get a chance with them. Too many times they get guys acting like skeezballs or super nice and compensating as a way to appease them and THIS is the sort of behaviour that eventually turns women off from having a guy just like them and tell them that. I have found that too often this has never worked for me and often what HAS worked is a combination of being flirty and doing slight teasing/innocent mockery with a hint of sarcasm attached so they don't actually think I'm hating on them. If I ever overstep my bounds and say something too over the top, which isn't like what this guy said, I'll often apologize right away.

    I pride myself on being a fairly stand-up, decent kind of guy and women won't always see that until that chance is given. There is credence to the fact that if a girl is genuine and appreciates niceness in a guy then I most certainly show that because it really is who I am. They are rarer it seems these days.

  5. #5
    In the Dark
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reflective [Register to see the link]
    Yeah but we are not in primary school that is the funny thing. I don't get it when I like someone I try to get to know them and I am nice to them. But not this guy! It's the first time a guy has been this way with me. I often get shy guys or guys that are upfront but he is just mean. is he just an unhappy person? Why would anyone do that?
    As I said after primary school some people carry on this kind of behavior.
    Just like some people leave school and still behave like bullies.
    You'll see threads where women are treated like crap yet what they write says they are reluctant to leave the guy without stating the obvious.
    So some guys play the d-bag card.
    Making sure their gf is somewhat insecure about themselves and to make them feel like they could not get anyone better than who they are with.

    Some women do actually love it.
    They love the degradation and humiliation which gives them the false impression of their man being well...a man

  6. #6
    Flyingpiglet
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    Quote Originally Posted by In the Dark [Register to see the link]
    Some women do actually love it.
    They love the degradation and humiliation which gives them the false impression of their man being well...a man
    Seriously????? Maybe some women put up with it if they have low self esteem and have had it drummed into them that 'they can't do better' but.... to actually love it???

  7. #7
    In the Dark
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flyingpiglet [Register to see the link]
    Seriously????? Maybe some women put up with it if they have low self esteem and have had it drummed into them that 'they can't do better' but.... to actually love it???
    Yep.
    I have actually had women want me to be like that to them.
    Actually say they want to be treated trashy.
    I put on a fake smile and sort of look away off into the distance in silence thinking...."how am I suppose to do that?"...without being completely fake about it....then start to worry.

  8. #8
    Reflective
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    Wow lol. I do understand the sarcastic thing becAuse I'm quite sarcastic and witty myself, but this guy is kind of taking it too far. He's humiliating me even though he thinks himself that he is being "flirty" it's no longer flirty if someone actualy feels bad right? I think I have a right to feel bad don't I? I do get joking etc but... this kind of "teasing" doesn't make me laugh, smile or feel good..

  9. #9
    Reflective
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    That is awful! As much as I like subtle wit sarcastic remarks it's genuinely mutual but i never ever want
    to be treated like crap. By anyone. I grew up with an abusive father and because I grew aware at a young age, I became the opposite of my
    mother, you know she wanted d bags and I didn't. That's just terrible.

  10. #10
    Flyingpiglet
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    Quote Originally Posted by In the Dark [Register to see the link]
    I put on a fake smile and sort of look away off into the distance in silence thinking...."how am I suppose to do that?"...without being completely fake about it....then start to worry.
    lol. This could be another story altogehter.... Am curious to know how you proceed in these situations?

    Now I don't mind a bit of sarcasm.... And I can give as good as I get. But, maybe some people need telling when to stop.

    Have you actually told hom he's over stepping the mark?
    Last edited by Flyingpiglet; 08-23-2011 at 12:48 PM. Reason: Spelling mistake.... Doh :)

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