Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 13

Thread: Why are some guys so mean to girls they like

  1. #1
    Reflective
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    164

    Why are some guys so mean to girls they like

    I thought that if you usually really like someone, you are often very nice towards them? Why be mean?
    I get playful teasing but some guys take it to another level. I have seen woman do it to. But I don't get it.usually when I really like someone, I am nice towards them.. Isn't that how it works?
    What I mean is guys that are teasing you one on one but when around others especially, it's like a knee jerk reaction for them to start acting like d bags? This one guy I thought he and I were friends but he seems to make fun of me endlessly. I'm down to earth so i usually laugh about it you know the height jokes etc but now he seems to pick on me about every little aspect of me?

    I wear reading glasses, those rayban lookalikes except they are Calvin Klein and well when we were infront of everyone for some reason he said out loud, "Why are you wearing glasses you look like such a nerd! Haha wow why did you choose THOSE frames? Man, you're short and you wear glasses what a nerd!" I mean I actually felt self conscious and down about myself. I didn't get it at all... he's nice to me the first time we met we got along but than all of a sudden he's been especially mean to me almost in a preoccupied manner, he jumps into MY conversations again just to belittle something he sees. So I don't get it.? Few weeks ago he told me he thinks I'm really pretty, and cute it was awkwRd because I didn't expect HIM to say that and he is being a jerk...

  2. #2
    In the Dark
    Platinum Member In the Dark's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Somewhere to the right of Australia
    Age
    36
    Posts
    5,001
    Thanked
    3
    Lol this reminds me of primary school.
    The boy picking on the girl because he doesn't know any other way to react, to say he likes them.

    Some people carry on the behavior to an extent I guess.
    If he is doing it in front of peers, it's because he is a douche and or insecurity issues.
    Bring down the gfs confidence so that they don't feel like talking to other male peers.
    Stating things which may appear slightly out of the norm to the people around them so you feel like an out cast and in hopes that people think the same about you sop they are not interested in you.

    People can be pretty unbelievable in their actions and ulterior motives.

  3. #3
    Reflective
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    164
    Quote Originally Posted by In the Dark [Register to see the link]
    Lol this reminds me of primary school.
    The boy picking on the girl because he doesn't know any other way to react, to say he likes them.

    Some people carry on the behavior to an extent I guess.
    If he is doing it in front of peers, it's because he is a douche and or insecurity issues.
    Bring down the gfs confidence so that they don't feel like talking to other male peers.
    Stating things which may appear slightly out of the norm to the people around them so you feel like an out cast and in hopes that people think the same about you sop they are not interested in you.

    People can be pretty unbelievable in their actions and ulterior motives.
    Yeah but we are not in primary school that is the funny thing. I don't get it when I like someone I try to get to know them and I am nice to them. But not this guy! It's the first time a guy has been this way with me. I often get shy guys or guys that are upfront but he is just mean. is he just an unhappy person? Why would anyone do that?

  4. #4
    DaveCummings
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    193
    I have two things to say about this. The first is, that women seem to make it generally hard to just like them and that be enough to get a chance with them. Too many times they get guys acting like skeezballs or super nice and compensating as a way to appease them and THIS is the sort of behaviour that eventually turns women off from having a guy just like them and tell them that. I have found that too often this has never worked for me and often what HAS worked is a combination of being flirty and doing slight teasing/innocent mockery with a hint of sarcasm attached so they don't actually think I'm hating on them. If I ever overstep my bounds and say something too over the top, which isn't like what this guy said, I'll often apologize right away.

    I pride myself on being a fairly stand-up, decent kind of guy and women won't always see that until that chance is given. There is credence to the fact that if a girl is genuine and appreciates niceness in a guy then I most certainly show that because it really is who I am. They are rarer it seems these days.

  5. #5
    In the Dark
    Platinum Member In the Dark's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Somewhere to the right of Australia
    Age
    36
    Posts
    5,001
    Thanked
    3
    Quote Originally Posted by Reflective [Register to see the link]
    Yeah but we are not in primary school that is the funny thing. I don't get it when I like someone I try to get to know them and I am nice to them. But not this guy! It's the first time a guy has been this way with me. I often get shy guys or guys that are upfront but he is just mean. is he just an unhappy person? Why would anyone do that?
    As I said after primary school some people carry on this kind of behavior.
    Just like some people leave school and still behave like bullies.
    You'll see threads where women are treated like crap yet what they write says they are reluctant to leave the guy without stating the obvious.
    So some guys play the d-bag card.
    Making sure their gf is somewhat insecure about themselves and to make them feel like they could not get anyone better than who they are with.

    Some women do actually love it.
    They love the degradation and humiliation which gives them the false impression of their man being well...a man

  6. #6
    Flyingpiglet
    Gold Member Flyingpiglet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    UK
    Age
    41
    Posts
    814
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by In the Dark [Register to see the link]
    Some women do actually love it.
    They love the degradation and humiliation which gives them the false impression of their man being well...a man
    Seriously????? Maybe some women put up with it if they have low self esteem and have had it drummed into them that 'they can't do better' but.... to actually love it???

  7. #7
    In the Dark
    Platinum Member In the Dark's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Somewhere to the right of Australia
    Age
    36
    Posts
    5,001
    Thanked
    3
    Quote Originally Posted by Flyingpiglet [Register to see the link]
    Seriously????? Maybe some women put up with it if they have low self esteem and have had it drummed into them that 'they can't do better' but.... to actually love it???
    Yep.
    I have actually had women want me to be like that to them.
    Actually say they want to be treated trashy.
    I put on a fake smile and sort of look away off into the distance in silence thinking...."how am I suppose to do that?"...without being completely fake about it....then start to worry.

  8. #8
    Reflective
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    164
    Wow lol. I do understand the sarcastic thing becAuse I'm quite sarcastic and witty myself, but this guy is kind of taking it too far. He's humiliating me even though he thinks himself that he is being "flirty" it's no longer flirty if someone actualy feels bad right? I think I have a right to feel bad don't I? I do get joking etc but... this kind of "teasing" doesn't make me laugh, smile or feel good..

  9. #9
    Reflective
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    164
    That is awful! As much as I like subtle wit sarcastic remarks it's genuinely mutual but i never ever want
    to be treated like crap. By anyone. I grew up with an abusive father and because I grew aware at a young age, I became the opposite of my
    mother, you know she wanted d bags and I didn't. That's just terrible.

  10. #10
    Flyingpiglet
    Gold Member Flyingpiglet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    UK
    Age
    41
    Posts
    814
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by In the Dark [Register to see the link]
    I put on a fake smile and sort of look away off into the distance in silence thinking...."how am I suppose to do that?"...without being completely fake about it....then start to worry.
    lol. This could be another story altogehter.... Am curious to know how you proceed in these situations?

    Now I don't mind a bit of sarcasm.... And I can give as good as I get. But, maybe some people need telling when to stop.

    Have you actually told hom he's over stepping the mark?
    Last edited by Flyingpiglet; 08-23-2011 at 12:48 PM. Reason: Spelling mistake.... Doh :)

  11.  

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Top Threads
Tinder, Happn no luck.. with women at all.
Hello there great ladies and gentlemen, I have a problem for sure.. i have tried Tinder and i have liked a lot of women on this app, i also wrote
Is he shy or uninterested?
He took me out on a couple dates. I rejected him the first time he tried to put his arm around me because I wasn't sure what I wanted at the time. My
Could use some advice in what feels like an impossible situation
Hi all, Found this forum from a Google search and looks like the right place for me to post (let me know if otherwise). Hopefully this won't be
I like him but i he has a Girlfriend!?
hey guys, hope u are doing ok!, well i need some advices.. i want to read what other people thinks about this besides my friends (who already know me
Coworker is flirting with me I think?
Ok long story short I'm almost 2 years in with my current girlfriend and this coworker I have told her how unhappy I have been in it being accused
back for some more advice.... thank god for this site!
so, in summary, in november i split with my ex who i 'thought' i was madly in love with, we'd been together 2.5 years. but now im a little more
I really like my friend.
I have known this girl for 5 years and through out the 5 years I have ALWAYS had a crush on her. We stopped talking for a good couple of years and

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Why don't guys express themselves
I just want an understanding as to why a guy will hold in all or majority of their emotions and feelings when it comes to their girlfriends... Not
Part 2
Apparently I am rife with confusion over this gentleman. So he and I had a perfect date yesterday. We have a great amount in common, and our
Tinder is making me hate women
I thought I'd set up a Tinder account again. This time I tried to take better photos, with my face clearly shown, with myself at a party, and a photo
Kissing
Why does my boyfriend kiss me with his eyes open?
Resentment towards bf..
Lately I have been struggling with wanting to have a healthy relationship with my partner however things in the past are constantly being brought up
Boyfriend of 3 years had been sleeping with escorts and going on dates
I've always had an unexplainable feeling that my boyfriend might be unfaithful but I always chalked that up to my own insecurities. I know it's
Is there a future?
I'm 22 and about to enter my PhD at an Ivey league University. I've been dating the most patient, understanding, affectionate, funny, and adoring man
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •