Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 15

Thread: How do you know if you are physically attractive

  1. #1
    Reflective
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    164

    How do you know if you are physically attractive

    Weird question but how do you know, for a fact that you are physically attractive?
    My main issue within myself is that I do lack self esteem, underneath the shallowness I don't have much of it, although I fake it to make it if you know what I mean.

    People tell me I am attractive physically, "cute" "pretty" "goregous" but is that not all relative? I mean not everyone finds someone attractive. Right? I just have a very difficult time accepting this. I don't know why, I can't wake up and just accept "Hey you know what, I'm really attractive, if I can get men to ask me out on a random basis, if I can do nothing and have men act oddly around me etc." It's a major complex I have, and it seems that as I age the more attractive I seem to get from what people tell
    me. Regardless it's hard to accept seeing how I am my worst critic and don't believe none of it at all.

    So I am curious, how do you know when and if you are physically appealing/attractive? I've had people tell me I have a good personality etc but it's still hard to see. I mean, do you necessarily have to be asked out in general by guys/girls?

  2. #2
    elcie
    Gold Member elcie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    574
    Gender
    Female
    Why are you asking this question? Are you having problems with attracting someone, despite being told that you are physically attractive?

    If that is the case, then perhaps your own lack of self esteem is the problem. If you can learn to be happy with the person you are-both inside and outside-then I have no doubt that you will have no problem attracting someone, And when that happens you will no longer have to worry about whether you are attractive or not.

  3. #3
    crushongirl
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    20
    Gender
    Male
    <removed>

    With women attractiveness is a combination of looks/age. So by definition you can't look better with age. Unless you lost 50 lbs. as time went on which is unlikely. Most men tend to have the same judgement of who is or isn't attractive. Women's opinion of men's attractiveness varies wildly and is very subjective. The opposite is not true. As for your popularity complex. You can be good looking and not asked out too often. Being asked out is often a measure of how easily approachable you are. I dread going up to a gorgeous woman and asking her out. Guys
    Last edited by HeartGoesOn; 08-23-2011 at 05:12 PM. Reason: Removed personal information

  4. #4
    crushongirl
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    20
    Gender
    Male
    dont even try if they don't think they stand a chance. If you can convince them otherwise I'm sure you'll increase the hits you get.

  5. #5
    Reflective
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    164
    Quote Originally Posted by elcie [Register to see the link]
    Why are you asking this question? Are you having problems with attracting someone, despite being told that you are physically attractive?

    If that is the case, then perhaps your own lack of self esteem is the problem. If you can learn to be happy with the person you are-both inside and outside-then I have no doubt that you will have no problem attracting someone, And when that happens you will no longer have to worry about whether you are attractive or not.
    I don't have a problem attracting people. in fact I notice I attract more male attention when i don't want to. not sure if that makes sense. I just generally don't believe I am physically attractive despite being told that.. I guess that's due to my poor self esteem..

  6. #6
    elcie
    Gold Member elcie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    574
    Gender
    Female
    Quote Originally Posted by Reflective [Register to see the link]
    I don't have a problem attracting people. in fact I notice I attract more male attention when i don't want to. not sure if that makes sense. I just generally don't believe I am physically attractive despite being told that.. I guess that's due to my poor self esteem..
    Is there a reason for your poor self esteem? If you are told you are good looking and don't have a problem attracting people then there may be underlying reasons for your lack of self esteem that may have nothing to do with your physical appearance. You may already know the answer to this.

  7. #7
    xyzzzz
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    987
    Gender
    Female
    do you know what/how can make you believe your attractive? getting asked out by guys on regular basis? and dont you have it? but you said you attract male attention?
    and what makes you dont think your attractive? you cant manage to get a bf or what?

  8. #8
    thejigsup
    Platinum Member thejigsup's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA
    Age
    60
    Posts
    7,645
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    407
    You are as attractive as you can make someone think you are. You are on the right track, it has to do with confidence and high self esteem. If a girl has that, even if she is not the most beautiful girl in the room, she will seem that way to everyone else.

  9. #9
    Vincent Ruiz
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    90
    You should keep in mind that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What one person might find attractive another person will find ugly. I have this personal theory that it doesn't matter who you are or what you look like, there will always be someone from afar who finds you attractive. While I don't usually recommend you get validation from other people(who cares what people think?! lol) I think it is a very good hint that you are attractive because other people wouldn't bother telling you if you weren't. What I think you should stop doing is telling yourself that there is no way you are attractive because that is all a mental thing that you have been telling yourself for probably a long time. Why don't you reverse your thinking and tell yourself that you are attractive? If you can tell yourself and believe that you are not attractive than you can tell yourself you are attractive and you will believe it. Trust me.


    Another thing is that guys love a confident woman who exudes it when she is walking. If you don't already, I recommend that you start walking with an air of confidence. Stand up straight, chest out, shoulders up, back straight. Believe me, you WILL get noticed if you walk and talk with confidence.

  10. #10
    hopeful1973
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    25
    Focus on "YOU".. and what makes you feel attractive and happy.. This process is all apart of knowing you and not what you have been through. When you are happy and attractive to yourself these questions will rarely cross your mind.

  11.  

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Top Threads
Tinder, Happn no luck.. with women at all.
Hello there great ladies and gentlemen, I have a problem for sure.. i have tried Tinder and i have liked a lot of women on this app, i also wrote
Is he shy or uninterested?
He took me out on a couple dates. I rejected him the first time he tried to put his arm around me because I wasn't sure what I wanted at the time. My
Could use some advice in what feels like an impossible situation
Hi all, Found this forum from a Google search and looks like the right place for me to post (let me know if otherwise). Hopefully this won't be
I like him but i he has a Girlfriend!?
hey guys, hope u are doing ok!, well i need some advices.. i want to read what other people thinks about this besides my friends (who already know me
Coworker is flirting with me I think?
Ok long story short I'm almost 2 years in with my current girlfriend and this coworker I have told her how unhappy I have been in it being accused
back for some more advice.... thank god for this site!
so, in summary, in november i split with my ex who i 'thought' i was madly in love with, we'd been together 2.5 years. but now im a little more
I really like my friend.
I have known this girl for 5 years and through out the 5 years I have ALWAYS had a crush on her. We stopped talking for a good couple of years and

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Why don't guys express themselves
I just want an understanding as to why a guy will hold in all or majority of their emotions and feelings when it comes to their girlfriends... Not
Part 2
Apparently I am rife with confusion over this gentleman. So he and I had a perfect date yesterday. We have a great amount in common, and our
Tinder is making me hate women
I thought I'd set up a Tinder account again. This time I tried to take better photos, with my face clearly shown, with myself at a party, and a photo
Kissing
Why does my boyfriend kiss me with his eyes open?
Resentment towards bf..
Lately I have been struggling with wanting to have a healthy relationship with my partner however things in the past are constantly being brought up
Boyfriend of 3 years had been sleeping with escorts and going on dates
I've always had an unexplainable feeling that my boyfriend might be unfaithful but I always chalked that up to my own insecurities. I know it's
Is there a future?
I'm 22 and about to enter my PhD at an Ivey league University. I've been dating the most patient, understanding, affectionate, funny, and adoring man
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •