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Thread: Do women hold all the cards?

  1. #31
    Platinum Member imsuperman's Avatar
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    This is true too. If you're a man and approach the situation with no investment in the outcome, then you'll save yourself a lot of grief.

    That is in some ways the most difficult part for guys though, due to the fact that we make way too big a deal of everything going in. It's just due to over-thinking and imaginary situations.

    As I_Speak_Jive so eloquently put it in another forum:

    "She farts.

    Am just sayin'. "

  2. #32
    Gold Member Iakasot's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Deciduous
    Ikasot -

    If it behoves you to 'be a victim' 'think like a victim' and 'behave like a victim', then you have every right to do so. If it is proving a successful strategy in regards to forming healthy relationship with women, then stick with it. Why not? Go with what brings the results you are seeking.

    All the best to u. I'm sure we'll talk again.

    Deci xxx
    The kind of language you just used is known among mens' rights activists as "male shaming language". It's something along the lines of "if you keep saying things like that you won't get laid", what you said was the more passive aggressive version of that. That's not cool. You realize the things I'm giving are FACTS, it's not about being the victim or not. Don't you try to help women when they speak out against injustices, and try to empathize with them? Why do you have to try to shame men when they do the same? There's something in psychology known as the "Just World Phenomenon", in essence it states that people who are favored in life tend to think that the world is just and that people get what they deserve. It would only make sense that a person who holds more cards in dating and marriage would think dating and marriage are fair.

  3. #33
    Platinum Member ProtestTheHero's Avatar
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    The financial and fraudulent abuse claims have merit, but as a guy I disagree with the dating points.

  4. #34
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    To the TC, not at all. For him to even say that is sad. It's no wonder why he is shy. He is not assertive enough to act like a man and is not assertive enough to persue you.

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  6. #35
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    Originally Posted by Iakasot
    The kind of language you just used is known among mens' rights activists as "male shaming language". It's something along the lines of "if you keep saying things like that you won't get laid", what you said was the more passive aggressive version of that. That's not cool. You realize the things I'm giving are FACTS, it's not about being the victim or not.
    Amen to that. Shaming language is used all accross the spectrum, sadly.

  7. #36
    Platinum Member Deciduous's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Iakasot
    The kind of language you just used is known among mens' rights activists as "male shaming language". It's something along the lines of "if you keep saying things like that you won't get laid",
    Whoops! Think we've both wandered off topic.

    My understanding is you identify yourself as a victim in a deeply uneven society, in which Women hold the majority of power and Men have very little to none at all. One where the equal rights of Men are routinuly ignored or subverted in favour of women.

    If I have misunderstood your position - and you do not identify yourself as a victim at all - then I wholeheartedly apologise.

    So we don't unfairly hijack GivingGirl's thread, I would be happy to speak further with you through PMs.

    Hope that's cleared the air.

    All the best


    Decixxx
    Last edited by Deciduous; 08-23-2011 at 10:59 AM.

  8. #37
    Gold Member Iakasot's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Deciduous
    Whoops! Think we've both wandered off topic.

    My understanding is you identify yourself as a victim in a deeply uneven society, in which Women hold the majority of power and Men have very little to none at all. One where the equal rights of Men are routinuly ignored or subverted in favour of women.

    If I have misunderstood your position - and you do not identify yourself as a victim at all - then I wholeheartedly apologise.

    So we don't unfairly hijack GivingGirl's thread, I would be happy to speak further with you through PMs.

    Hope that's cleared the air.

    All the best


    Decixxx
    All I did was say that OP's guy friend is right, and "here's why", would you please refrain from using the "poisoning the well" logical fallacy to try and discredit me? This isn't about me, it's about dating in general, and what guys' options are vs girls'. I was saying females hold more cards than males and gave reasons...That's not off-topic.

  9. #38
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    Originally Posted by Blue Spiral
    Women don't hold all the cards, but they hold the most important one--relative scarcity.

    Find a reasonably-attractive woman, and you'll find a ton of guys competing to be with her. She has to pick and choose. Find a reasonably-attractive man, and you won't find a ton of girls competing to be with him. Potential boyfriend candidates are a dime a dozen; hot women are pursued by men up and down the socioeconomic strata. If a woman wants the average guy, she's competing with...no one in particular. If a guy wants an attractive woman, he's competing with married doctors, college sweethearts, high-ranking co-workers, elite players and PUAs, etc. Finding a hot woman that isn't locked down or bombarded by superior options is virtually impossible.
    Quoting for the God's truth.

  10. #39
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    Personally, I've never felt like I've held all the cards in any dating situation. Maybe that's because I'm shy or because I enter dating with the mindset of the potential of it being great and real. I don't date just to have a good time, I want to find that person whom I have a great connection with. I want something true, not just some made up game. I go into it wanting to develop something worth full trust, feeling 100% comfortable with another person, I put myself out there, I am vulnerable and I give my all. Whereas, the men I've dated don't, but they sure do want me to think they are. As much as I've fought becoming jaded, I am. I've been lied to and mistreated so many times, that I find myself questioning everything. I used to be able to just leave it in the past and give the next guy a clean slate, but that is becoming very hard for me to do anymore. I don't like it. I was a little put off by a guy telling me I hold all the cards because I am female. It's not an accurate assessment. It's like someone else said, it's the person who cares the least that is in control.

  11. #40
    Gold Member delicous's Avatar
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    Women do not hold the cards, neither do most men...Some high rolers may hold the cards as far as , sex, money and rock n roll, but NO ONE can MAKE you do anything you do not desire to do or MAKE you desire to do those things at which they want you to do whether it's, Being Committed and being serious, Sexual encounters, like anal...Changing friends/jobs/careers/schools/the state you live in...ONLY YOU hold that power and no one will ever really MAKE you do that you do not wish to do ...GOD gave us free will....

    However, HOWEVER...Women definetly can have the upper hand if the man lacks what the women has whether that be money, emotional maturity, indepenence... I believe an independent women usually can have the upper hand over a lot of different men who lack that same decipline...
    Pretty much all I have to say about that...Good question though...

    And the comment the guy made....Id just take it as a "Flirtatious gesture" VS. "You are in control."

    You might be... as far as if you want to give him sex or not, a chance or not, but you do not have the upper hand as far as what he does or doesn't do or who else he says the same exact things to... I have been told "your my dream girl." Other men, have said " I want to marry you." There has been a lot of weird ass comments before, I once had a one night stand where the man told me "I love you." I just met him a day before at the beach, lol...

    So yeah, I didn't read into it...But the brain is a tricky thing and there are things us woman can do to strongly pursue the feeling of power, but in all actuality, nobody really holds all the cards...Its just a saying...

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