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Thread: Do women hold all the cards?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member ProtestTheHero's Avatar
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    It's not a gender thing -- the person least invested in a particular outcome holds all the cards (in relation to "power"). Now, if this guy was being less subtle and was simply saying it's on the woman to determine where every relationship goes in its initial stages, that's simply a shy guy's lame way of passing the buck.

  2. #12
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    Don't agree with that statement, but I do believe that the power rests in both set of hands. Meaning that it's up to BOTH the woman and the man to make the effort. It's a bit of a double standard when it comes to that, but I feel that in order to keep things on an even plain, that's the only way...

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Deciduous's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by hexaemeron
    As much as people like to dress it up, it's an exchange of power. Men buy dinners and movies for the women in order to get access to your ladyparts.
    Why you old romantic, you. Is this your opening line?



    Originally Posted by givinggirl
    Just to clarify...this wasn't in reference to a relationship, but to the beginning stages of dating
    Agreed-ish.

    Yes, I guess men generally do the running in the first stages, some-times with tepid encouragement.

    But whilst Men can pursue Women with ardent passion - and it's called romance. Women chasing Men down with roses, booking dinner dates and promising to bear their first child - well that's called a court order waiting to happen.
    Traditional dating gives Men and women equal power - just in different areas.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by ProtestTheHero
    It's not a gender thing -- the person least invested in a particular outcome holds all the cards (in relation to "power"). Now, if this guy was being less subtle and was simply saying it's on the woman to determine where every relationship goes in its initial stages, that's simply a shy guy's lame way of passing the buck.
    I agree with you about the person least invested holds all the cards. As for this guy, he was being pretty bold last weekend with his conversation topics (actually the past couple of times I've seen him) and not getting all bashful & nervous like he usually does. I got the feeling he was saying it to make a point to me, but I completely missed his point. After he said this, he started asking me something about the last guy I pursued, but our conversation was interrupted and wasn't continued.

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  6. #15
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    I would start with the simplest explanation -he was simply chatting and referenced a time-worn cliche/stereotype in commenting about dating. That's nice that he's not as bashful and nervous as usual but I think you're reading into what he says far too much. Why not simply decide that if he wants you to know that he's interested in dating you, he will ask you out on a date or respond with enthusiasm to your either asking him out or suggesting activities you like to do that he might like to do as well?

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Alezia's Avatar
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    I agree with the parties which say it's the least interested party which holds the cards - not necessarily the woman. The advantage which most women hold is that they may not be so anxious to jump in bed, and therefore become less vulnerable at the beginning. I notice that my friends which jump into bed very fast and become emotionally needy, usually end up as the weaker person in the relationship. It's really how you play the dance which will determine where you stand.

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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    I would start with the simplest explanation -he was simply chatting and referenced a time-worn cliche/stereotype in commenting about dating. That's nice that he's not as bashful and nervous as usual but I think you're reading into what he says far too much. Why not simply decide that if he wants you to know that he's interested in dating you, he will ask you out on a date or respond with enthusiasm to your either asking him out or suggesting activities you like to do that he might like to do as well?
    I think you are reading far too much into my post by making comments pertaining to things I posted over 1 year ago. This has nothing to do with his interest or lack thereof in dating me. This has to do with a comment he made that has been on my mind. Have I asked if you think he's interested? Have I asked for advice on dating him? No, I have not.

  9. #18
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    Yes actually you have since you've asked what he could have meant by that with respect to you, and his comment was about dating. That is how I interpreted what you wrote. If you're honest with yourself you'll admit to yourself that his comment is on your mind because you are interested in dating him and want to know how or whether his comment is relevant to interest in dating you. Otherwise you wouldn't have posted about a time-worn cliche that people say from time to time -it was the timing and context that triggered your interest in his use of the cliche. IMHO. And I do think past posts about the same person - in the recent past -add context and relevance to what you are posting now. If you're not interested in dating him or not interested in knowing whether he wants to date you I apologize for misinterpreting this and other posts but I honestly do not think I did.

    For example, you wrote "As for this guy, he was being pretty bold last weekend with his conversation topics (actually the past couple of times I've seen him) and not getting all bashful & nervous like he usually does." - so that tells me you're not just referring to some isolated comment but to what it means in the context of this man you previously pursued and it seems you are now wondering if he might be interested in dating you if you pursue him again.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by DylanNotorious
    Hahha! He was a shy guy aye? He's also a lazy guy. Too lazy to pursue.

    NEXT!
    Being shy doesn't mean being lazy.

    Not at all.

    And they may not hold all the cards, but they do hold the majority of them.

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by Deciduous



    Yes, I guess men generally do the running in the first stages, some-times with tepid encouragement.

    But whilst Men can pursue Women with ardent passion - and it's called romance. Women chasing Men down with roses, booking dinner dates and promising to bear their first child - well that's called a court order waiting to happen.
    Traditional dating gives Men and women equal power - just in different areas.
    It's romance when the woman is getting pursued by a guy that she is attracted to. When a woman gets pursued by an unattractive guy, he gets slapped with a restraining order. On the other hand, I don't know of any non-celebrity guys who get pursued by women. I think one of the guys who posted here is correct. Women hold most of the cards. An average-looking woman I know got asked out by a dozen different guys after her boyfriend broke up with her. I also remember this cute Asian woman talk about how so many guys ask her out that she has to cancel dates with them. If you go to any bar or nightclub, you will see women shutting down guys on a regularl basis. In my entire life, I have only seen two women get rejected by some guy that they didn't know. Women are concerned about finding the right guy. Men are just looking for any woman who has any interest in him.

    Ask yourself the question. Who has a easier time in dating? A shy man or a shy woman.

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