So if you haven't read John Gray's "Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus" he describes men as going in and out of intimacy phases. For awhile he will be very loving and emotionally close to his SO, and then he retreats and "goes into his cave" for hours, days, weeks where he may seem distant and not as into you, only to eventually come back out of his cave and love you unconditionally again. It is said that women should NOT interrupt their cave time or try to coax them out of it. Women, do you experience this with your man? How do you deal with it? Men, do you realize when you need "cave time" or is it something that instinctively happens? What do you feel towards your SO when it happens?
Personally, I went away with some old college friends for one of our friend's birthdays in the big city she lives in now. Everything was fine, my boyfriend (of 9 months) and I spoke on the phone once each day and texted throughout the weekend. We told each other we missed and loved each other, etc... Then on my six hour drive home yesterday I was supposed to call him, I texted him saying since he was with his friends I wouldn't want to bother him. I got a loving response 3 hours later. I was kind of upset that despite me trying to be understanding, he didn't want to call me at all on my ride home. So I texted him nicely saying I was a little disappointed that he didn't want to hear from me at all. He quickly responded that he loved me but his phone was about to die but he was at his friend's house and he'd call me asap. 3 hours later (1 am)...I'm finally home and he texts me asking "if it was ok that he call me tomorrow, that he loves me and it's not me but he's feeling out of it and a little off today". I was understanding and told him I hoped he was ok and that I loved him, but I ended up being really worried and waking up several times in the night. Nothing yet today :/ I'm usually very laid back, but for some reason I'm upset about this and worried. He's starting work training later today for the week. Is this him retreating into his cave? When he gets distant, it's usually for a few days and I always let him be, but I really felt the need to hear his voice on the ride home yesterday. I cried for a little bit on the ride for no reason bc I felt second this his friends.
Retreating in the Caves...always a touchy/difficult situation to gauge