What does a man want from a crossdresser?

So one thing really bothers me. I met this guy online and he's totally hot and he can get girls at bars or clubs. But time to time, he wants to have sex with me as a crossdresser (and I am male, well, I have this hobby to dress like a girl). Apparently he's very close to straight, he does not want a man, he wants me to be very passable, meaning just like a * * * * ty girl. But the thing that I don't really understand is why doesn't he just get a girl? I have had encounters with men as a crossdresser, and it's totally understandable when the guy is interested in my "something extra" that girls don't have. But this guy is a bit different, he has no interest in my "boy" but he still wants me...I am really confused and I don't know why he wants me time to time because it would make sense if he just gets a girl instead of me if he's not interested in my "something extra" because girls are superior than me in all aspects...

I am asking this question because he doesn't talk to me a lot, strictly sexual and very minimal conversation but I want to know what straight guys with no interest in "the extra" want from crossdressers, so that I can improve those things to satisfy him more because he's really hot and I enjoy the sex a lot with him, but he talks to me once in three months or something. I wish I could improve myself and make him want me more often...

Please let me know if you know anything about it or can give me some suggestions. thanks!!!!!

Maybe he is gay or bisexual but in denial, so he finds it easier to indulge his desires with men when they're dressed as women?

Sounds like he wants someone transgender.

Why doesn't he want a female dressed as a woman? Because it's not the same thing as a male dressed as a woman. I'm not sure it makes sense to ask "Why?" It is what it is.

I agree that it sounds like he is looking for someone who is transgendered and pre-transition- a woman who identifies as and dresses female, but has the physical body of a man.

Having sex with him honestly sounds degrading, as he has no interest in you and only one in the illusion that you portray. If you're interested in continuing, though, you might send him a message asking if there's a special outfit he'd like you to wear or something similar.

Why do *you* like to cross dress? It's so complicated and personal, there's no one answer that covers everyone.

I agree that it sounds like he is looking for someone who is transgendered and pre-transition- a woman who identifies as and dresses female, but has the physical body of a man.

I don't wish to be rude, but I think it's important to use terminology correctly when it comes to matters of sex and gender. "A woman who identifies as and dresses female, but has the physical body of a man" should be rephrased to "A female who identifies as and dresses as a woman, but has the physical body of a male". Remember that chromosomes/physicality = sex (male/female) and gender = man/woman.

Having sex with him honestly sounds degrading, as he has no interest in you and only one in the illusion that you portray. If you're interested in continuing, though, you might send him a message asking if there's a special outfit he'd like you to wear or something similar.

I think it's offensive to use the word "illusion" here, as it gives the impression that this identity is not as authentic as yours or mine, for example. Whether someone is fully transgendered or just plays a different gender casually or on the side, it's usually a legitimate want or desire on the part of that person. It's a full package. You are what you portray. As the OP said, if this guy wanted to sleep with a female woman he likely could do that. But that's not what he wants. He wants a woman with a penis. And if the OP enjoys his company, then I don't see anything wrong with that.

You're right, I should've been more careful with my wording, especially as someone who doesn't identify as cisgendered myself. I apologize.

I do think, though, that as the poster identifies as male that his decision to cross dress doesn't come with the same connotations of someone trying to pass. He's not trying to be a woman.

I do think, though, that as the poster identifies as male that his decision to cross dress doesn't come with the same connotations of someone trying to pass. He's not trying to be a woman.

I agree, but the OP did say that this guy isn't interested in the "boy" side of him, which indicates to me that this guy knows that the OP isn't a woman all the time. Assuming that he's aware of this and is still interested, then I don't see anything wrong.

As far as why some guys are not interested in the "extra", as the OP puts it, I watched a series of interviews with transgendered women on the Showtime series called "Kink" (which I highly recommend). A few of the pre-op women stated something to the effect of "Each guy is different in terms of how much involvement he wants or doesn't want with my penis. Some want to fully interact with it, and some do not want to see it but just like knowing that it's there". This is likely one of those things that will vary with each guy.

Here's a link to the series if anyone is interested: link removed

Dear all,

I am very surprised and pleased with the intellectual responses. As you all noticed, it's not an easy question to answer because of our diverse sexual desires, just like why I want to dress as a girl. I am not very experienced in terms of interacting with many guys, but I did notice that the guys I have interacted with always liked my penis(I am using the word because it seems that the audience here is comfortable with the word), or at least that's the main reason why they want me. We could just say " hey that is what he is" but I just wanted to know what the possibilities are from others' experiences, I am not looking for an exact answer for this guy.

Liking a male body in women's dress...I have never thought about it but that could be the reason. But judging by our initial conversations, I think he wanted someone feminine. Thanks FathomFear, for the show recommendation, I will watch it and see if I can learn something about general tendencies.

As it is the first case for me that the guy didn't have any interest in my penis, which is perfectly fine for me, but I wanted to keep having fun with him, so I just wanted to know more about these guys, what these guys want etc...Any further suggestions are appreciated!

Dear all,

 

... I just wanted to know more about these guys, what these guys want etc...Any further suggestions are appreciated!

Generalizing what "these" guys want isn't really helpful in your situation. From what I can tell, he is honest about what he wants, and what he expects from you. It wouldn't work for me, because when I have sex with someone I want to know that he is having sex with me as a person, not some fetish I may represent. If you are asking how you can make him want "more" from you, I would think that you are basically out of luck. I suppose it is possible that the relationship will progress to another level, but right now it doesn't look like that is in the cards. The question to ask yourself is if this is working for you, that these are positive experiences for you. He has already figured that out, he is happy with what you can offer him and it doesn't look like he wants more.

Well, let me be clear on one thing, I am not looking for a relationship or anything romantic. I also have this fantasy of dressing and he seems to like it. That's why we meet and have fun. Nothing more. But when I said I want him to want me more, it's totally in a sexual context. I want to see him more often, but just for sex, so if I know what these guys want, desire, do in bed in general, I thought I would increase my chances by offering those things next time, like letting him know my penis is there but without showing the actual penis as someone suggested earlier. He's not very talkative, and seems a bit shy guy, probably because he's very young (of course, legal age) but I can't ask tons of questions because I would really bother him by sending emails everyday... So instead of asking him many questions, I thought I'd ask many people online who had similar experiences or who are very similar to him. I hope this makes myself clear.

I really appreciate advice from some of you but some seem to degrade what I do, or look down on me. Well, again, I just got this impression from reading your comments, I really don't know what actually was in your mind. Apologies if I am wrong.

so are you a hooker or something.?? not trying to be rude...just wondering

I really appreciate advice from some of you but some seem to degrade what I do, or look down on me. Well, again, I just got this impression from reading your comments, I really don't know what actually was in your mind. Apologies if I am wrong.

I am not sure why you would get that impression from anything I wrote. No I don't judge, just important that you are honest with yourself in what you are looking for in this case a sexual partner. It is not my impression that this guy that you are seeing is wondering and thinking up ways to be able to see you more often as you are. I could be wrong, but I don't think you can have sex without some emotional involvement with the person you are doing it with. So maybe there is more to sex about this guy that makes you want to see him more often.

lukeb, it was not toward your reply, sorry if I gave a wrong impression by responding right after.

charles18, I am not, you probably should read everything again and if you still don't get it, you will understand it when you grow up a little older or I hope so because most do...

I'm not gay at all but I like intercourse because I love giving anal but I don't meet many girl that like anal or wearing lingerie that perks their butt.That my reason I don't make love to them or anything I'm just obsessed with giving anal. But that's just me

Hi!!! I´m new CD girl!! Been cross dressing for as little as 6 months but I`m rely in to it… It is so much fun… Before i star dressing I use to visit club and have sex with transgender and tevesti girls… In my case i was not interested in their something extra that other girl don`t have… I`m not handsome like the guy you are having sex with. But I have never had trouble relating to biological girls!!! What I`m trying to say is that if he is like me, and I`m not saying he has to be.. He is curios about you, why you do what you do, how you do it and all that..

That was my case… Having sex with Tgirl was my way in… I fact I identify as strait in some ways… if that makes any sense!!

[

QUOTE=millionqs;4937198]Dear all,

I am very surprised and pleased with the intellectual responses. As you all noticed, it's not an easy question to answer because of our diverse sexual desires, just like why I want to dress as a girl. I am not very experienced in terms of interacting with many guys, but I did notice that the guys I have interacted with always liked my penis(I am using the word because it seems that the audience here is comfortable with the word), or at least that's the main reason why they want me. We could just say " hey that is what he is" but I just wanted to know what the possibilities are from others' experiences, I am not looking for an exact answer for this guy.

Liking a male body in women's dress...I have never thought about it but that could be the reason. But judging by our initial conversations, I think he wanted someone feminine. Thanks FathomFear, for the show recommendation, I will watch it and see if I can learn something about general tendencies.

As it is the first case for me that the guy didn't have any interest in my penis, which is perfectly fine for me, but I wanted to keep having fun with him, so I just wanted to know more about these guys, what these guys want etc...Any further suggestions are appreciated!

Hi everyone, My name is Kay and I have been crossdressing all of my adult life. Just to clarify, I was born male and enjoy dressing as a woman. I don't dress as a woman full time. I do dress as a woman nearly every day and go out as a woman many times a month.

I love all the responses to the posters question. I know the original post was several years ago and there seems to be interest in continuing the conversation so I'll try to add what I've experienced through the years which may be helpful to some.

I've dated several guys over the years and no, I'm not a hooker. lol I'm single and date while looking for the love of my life. I've found that we each have a story that is unique to each of us. Just like each of us girls (yes I refer to us cd/tv/tg as girls) are different, So are the guys we date as well as the wonderful people that have been commenting on this thread.

Each guy we date is different, Each from a different place, Each with different comfort levels. Some are married (which I try to avoid) Some have careers that cann be

Hi!!! I´m new CD girl!! Been cross dressing for as little as 6 months but I`m rely in to it… It is so much fun… Before i star dressing I use to visit club and have sex with transgender and tevesti girls… In my case i was not interested in their something extra that other girl don`t have… I`m not handsome like the guy you are having sex with. But I have never had trouble relating to biological girls!!! What I`m trying to say is that if he is like me, and I`m not saying he has to be.. He is curios about you, why you do what you do, how you do it and all that..

That was my case… Having sex with Tgirl was my way in… I fact I identify as strait in some ways… if that makes any sense!!

[

QUOTE=millionqs;4937198]Dear all,

 

I am very surprised and pleased with the intellectual responses. As you all noticed, it's not an easy question to answer because of our diverse sexual desires, just like why I want to dress as a girl. I am not very experienced in terms of interacting with many guys, but I did notice that the guys I have interacted with always liked my penis(I am using the word because it seems that the audience here is comfortable with the word), or at least that's the main reason why they want me. We could just say " hey that is what he is" but I just wanted to know what the possibilities are from others' experiences, I am not looking for an exact answer for this guy.

 

Liking a male body in women's dress...I have never thought about it but that could be the reason. But judging by our initial conversations, I think he wanted someone feminine. Thanks FathomFear, for the show recommendation, I will watch it and see if I can learn something about general tendencies.

 

As it is the first case for me that the guy didn't have any interest in my penis, which is perfectly fine for me, but I wanted to keep having fun with him, so I just wanted to know more about these guys, what these guys want etc...Any further suggestions are appreciated!

You lot do not understand that for a man life is not straightforward as it is form  females. you female start you life journey as female and you, in the main, finish your  life as female. But we men do not have it that simple, you see we have to fact that we start our life as female and then we get converted to male for the one reason and that is procreation.

If you do not believe me, then ask you self two very simple questions (A) why do no men have nipples we do not feed babies and (B) why it that we male can contract and die of breast cancer. Now when you come to terms with that, then you will understand why men are always in conflict     

Another old, old thread being revived.

What is up with all the dredging up of old threads?

Old thread

3 hours ago, boltnrun said:

Another old, old thread being revived.

What is up with all the dredging up of old threads?

Good catch.   Strange that a 10 -year-old thread would be pulled.

1 minute ago, Hollyj said:

He's bisexual.   

 

If you aren't interested in more than sex, I don't understand why you would interact with someone who treats you like a hooker.  I think that you could do much better for your self worth, no matter how "hot" they are.  

This is a 4 year old thread that someone revived.

Just now, boltnrun said:

This is a 4 year old thread that someone revived.

It's from 2011.

Thread is over 9 yrs old...Closed.