Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 17

Thread: My ex is contacting my friends on FB

  1. #1
    Moontiger
    Platinum Member Moontiger's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Chicago
    Age
    30
    Posts
    7,725
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    972

    My ex is contacting my friends on FB

    I honestly thought I wouldn’t have any facebook drama with my ex for two reasons: 1) I immediately defriend him, his family members, and people who were his friends but not mine. I blocked him so he could not find me again on FB if he tried 2) We broke up in November of 2009, so over a year and a half now of not being a couple and no communication since April of 2010.

    Today I got a text from a guy friend of mine (I’ll call him Andy). Nothing has or will ever happen between Andy and I but we both went through bad break ups around the same time so we spend a good deal of time helping each other through. Andy knows everything that happened with my ex and how I know feel about him.

    Well, the text I got from Andy saying that my ex (I’ll call him Jim. Jim and Andy were friends for a while but lost touch well before Jim and I broke up) had friended him on FB with a message emphatically asking to talk. I told Andy I was sure Jim was just trying to find out where I am, how I am doing etc. Andy agreed and asked if I wanted him to accept the friend request or not, I told him that I was torn because logically I know it would just be totally pointless, but on the other hand I have curious about what he would have to say (I can honestly say I have no interest in getting back with my ex I have moved on emotionally and physically I now leave hundreds of miles away from him).

    Anyways, I told Andy that I would think about it and get back to him. I went to my internship today and completely forgot about the whole situation until I got back home, signed on to FB and saw a message from another guy friend of mine (Rick), The message basically said “Jim asked me to ask you to say hi to him.” I told Rick that I was sorry he was being made to play messenger boy and that I have no intentions of communicating with my ex.

    The fact that I forgot about the situation earlier today tells me that I going with my logically side and going to tell Andy to not accept the friend request. But now I am really angry that my ex is doing this. I mean I have not talked to him since April of 2010 even though he has tried to get into contact with me in other ways.

    My question is, what do I do if this keeps happening? I don’t want my friends being used like this and I have been very clear with not wanting to communicate with my ex. The very last time we talked was over email and I said verbatim, “I do not want to communicate with you anymore.”

    Advice? Thoughts?

  2. #2
    chitown9
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    High Desert, California
    Posts
    4,291
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    414
    I would delete my facebook account for awhile if I were you...chi

  3. #3
    1m50L0nl3y

    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    404
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    1
    What a coward. Tell Andy and Rick is their choice to communicate with him, but make it clear that your friendship with them is above your ex, and that you dont want to hear anything from him. Under ANY circumstance contact your ex, he is pushing your buttons is a coward way, dont give him what he wants.

  4. #4
    Moontiger
    Platinum Member Moontiger's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Chicago
    Age
    30
    Posts
    7,725
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    972
    Hi Chi, Thank you for the response. I am really hoping I won't have to do that. But there is no way I can let my ex use my friends this way.

  5. #5
    Moontiger
    Platinum Member Moontiger's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Chicago
    Age
    30
    Posts
    7,725
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    972
    Quote Originally Posted by 1m50L0nl3y [Register to see the link]
    What a coward. Tell Andy and Rick is their choice to communicate with him, but make it clear that your friendship with them is above your ex, and that you dont want to hear anything from him. Under ANY circumstance contact your ex, he is pushing your buttons is a coward way, dont give him what he wants.
    Thank you so much for this! Lol, something about it made me feel a lot better about this situation. And your right, my ex is a coward, he just cannot accept that I have moved on. The funny thing is he is the one who broke up with me!

  6. #6
    1m50L0nl3y

    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    404
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    1
    Yes his sending trial balloons to know where he stands with you. Insecure man. Not worth it. Deserves what he is getting. When he grows up and can address things in a personal way like all mature adults do MAYBE if you want, is of your personal convenience, and have nothing better to do, then perhaps you might reconsider his reasons.

  7. #7
    Brownstone322
    Platinum Member Brownstone322's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Virginia, USA (The 757)
    Posts
    2,245
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    37
    Was this a particularly bad breakup? Who broke up with whom? Generally speaking, I come down on the side of civility.

  8. #8
    Moontiger
    Platinum Member Moontiger's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Chicago
    Age
    30
    Posts
    7,725
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    972
    He broke up with me. For me it was bad because he never tried to work through what was bothering him. We had been together for over three years so to me, he could have at least tried to fight for the relationship. We were long distance and he come to see me for a weekend we broke up on Saturday night and he left early the next morning to go to a "pre-thanksgiving day party" with his high school friends. I remember because at the time I was extremely hurt that he would just leave me in tears to go hang out with his friends.

    So I did the whole blocking, deleting contact information etc, I even packed up everything he had given more over the years and sent it all back to him.

    A few months later he sent me an email begging me to come back to him. I turned him down, then he called basically saying everything that was in the email, I turned him down again, then there was a final email to which I responded that I did not want anymore contact with him.

  9. #9
    Moontiger
    Platinum Member Moontiger's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Chicago
    Age
    30
    Posts
    7,725
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    972
    Update on the situation, I told Andy to not accept the friend request, and told Rick I had no interest in any contact with my ex. Today I got a call from my BFF (Nora), well, my ex contacted her today about getting in contact with me. Nora and I discussed what to do and after a while determined that she would reply to him saying that she had passed along his message, that I do not want contact with him, and that he should stop trying because it was just pushing me farther away (it was worded much better then that!)

    I have thought about it, and if he contacts anyone else, I am going to call him and tell him to stop. I have a feeling that until he hears it from me he will just keep trying.

  10. #10
    LaKings55
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    1,204
    Thanked
    7
    My ex send a text to my best buddy asking about me. He didn't recognize the #, so he deleted it. It was hilarious actually, because he called me when he got it and said "Hey, someone's asking about you, don't recognize the # though" so he read it off. I just said "doesn't sound familiar, I say delete it"

  11.  

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Top Threads
Should I be concerned?
Since, filing for child support, blocking him from my home phone, my child's father seems to be pulling away from our daughter. This past weekend he
.
....................
Ex Items in my possession
My ex and I was together for 10 years, lived together for last 6. He has been working in Philippines and I found he has been cheating for last 2
Friendship with exes
Ex & I broke up due to distance 2 months ago, lived in separate countries, in college, so distance wasn't going to end soon. We weren't initially
Advice on Ex
Backstory. We met in March and where official in April. My ex and I were together for 9 months two of it was long distance in the beginning because
How to get ex-girlfriend that acts hot and cold?
So I've talked to this girl for two weeks, I'm 17 and she's 16 (long distance) and we seem to have a really deep interest for each other. I ask her
Ex gf contacts again.
Hello. Me and my ex gf broke up 2 years ago. I was the one making the break up. A year later, i came back, sending emails, flowers, sms's, you name

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Why don't guys express themselves
I just want an understanding as to why a guy will hold in all or majority of their emotions and feelings when it comes to their girlfriends... Not
Part 2
Apparently I am rife with confusion over this gentleman. So he and I had a perfect date yesterday. We have a great amount in common, and our
Tinder is making me hate women
I thought I'd set up a Tinder account again. This time I tried to take better photos, with my face clearly shown, with myself at a party, and a photo
Kissing
Why does my boyfriend kiss me with his eyes open?
Resentment towards bf..
Lately I have been struggling with wanting to have a healthy relationship with my partner however things in the past are constantly being brought up
Boyfriend of 3 years had been sleeping with escorts and going on dates
I've always had an unexplainable feeling that my boyfriend might be unfaithful but I always chalked that up to my own insecurities. I know it's
Is there a future?
I'm 22 and about to enter my PhD at an Ivey league University. I've been dating the most patient, understanding, affectionate, funny, and adoring man
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •