Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: from a dumpers perspective

  1. #1
    slammin16
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    115

    from a dumpers perspective

    I am a dumpee and have had very little contact with my ex. I have not initiated any contact for months but she has, a few times... I have responded politely every time but am now thinking of just ignoring her.

    What do you think the dumper thinks when the dumpee ignores them? Will they just get the point that we don't want contact? will they find it rude? Do they still think we are not over them?

    Pure curiosity....Thanks

  2. #2
    DaveCummings
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    193
    At some point you would hope they would stop contacting you... I don't know what to really say about this as I've been on both sides of this fence. Having dumped my last ex and having been dumped in the past I know that I've had to ignore past contact when I had no reason to believe my ex changed. She stopped talking after I stopped responding... so I could only assume if you kept up ignoring them that they'd go away.

    Being the dumper most recently and having been trying to reach out to my ex lately, I know I would hope she would respond and not ignore me. I know in all likelihood that she will probably just ignore me and that I'm wasting my time... I wouldn't find the lack of a response rude though, I would understand it completely. A part of me has always hoped she'd find her way back to me. Now that she is broken up with her bf and is single again, I can't help hoping she'll give me a nother chance.

  3. #3
    Tryptophan
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    917
    Gender
    Female
    I would think you are hurt, and that you have all reason to be. I would probably understand.

    You know ignoring her is the best thing you can do to obstruct her healing, though. Dumpers like to reach out to ease their guilt and validate their decision to breakup. So by ignoring her you're not helping her ease her guilt. You would essentially be making her retard her healing... Go NC, worry about yourself, and stop helping her heal because she didn't give a * * * * about your feelings when she dumped you.

    Who gives a * * * * what she thinks? It's all about you now!

  4. #4
    blackhawks1287
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    701
    Slammin I told ya man...just block her number and any form of communication that she has to get in touch with you.

    Like tryptophan says and like I have said...who cares what is going on with her and why dwell and think about the what if's, or I wonder's, JUST LET IT GO.

    Ignore the * * * * * and move on...

  5. #5
    thejigsup
    Platinum Member thejigsup's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA
    Age
    60
    Posts
    7,645
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    407
    Whenever I have been dumped, I hope the dumper may someday contact me. When I have been the dumper, I hope the dumpee will never contact me. Both situations hurt, believe me.

  6. #6
    Thorshammer
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Brooklyn, New York
    Posts
    4,319
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    6
    Depends on the situation. Like someone said above, being there for them is helping them cope with their decision (especially if you try to pretend you are fine with it). Dont give them that! Let them realize what life is without you. Pretend life is good.

    Depending on the dumper, they might miss you from no contact, miss being with someone, wonder how you moved on and would want to keep tabs on you (tabs on someone they didnt like, but they took a lil shot to their ego, which might mean they might start thinking, "woah, hes over me, maybe i was the problem?" or they might start to want what they dont have) or happy that you finally moved on and do what they always wanted to do (ughhh).

    I guess it depends on how and why she/he broke up with you.

  7.  

Top Threads
We all need this. Post one negative a day about your ex. Stop idolizing.
So, I've found from reading threads and seeing things I've posted that so many of us idolize the person that walked away from us, cheated on us
Post one good thing about them being gone
Thought if this because of another thread. Post something positive about your life that's better since they've been gone. I love how much cleaner
Need to get this off my chest
I'm in a dark place today. I'm not crying, nor desperately asking questions to which I won't get any answers. I'm just feeling it. This is the ninth
NC for 2 months - then one trigger after another!
so on Halloween night after not speaking to him for a month I sent him a "happy Halloween" text just to be nice. at this point I figured he was
Miss the abusive ex
Hi, I was in a relationship with my Ex for just under a year, he was living with me and we broke up 2 weeks ago, on New Year's Eve. Our relationship
No Spring Chicken !!!
I have recently broken up with my partner and need to try and find a way through the next wee while. To give a bit of a story, my partner and I where
Leave encouragement. Making it through or survived the bad break up...
I've come to the conclusion that most people that use this site are in the same position, the stages of hurt. Not really over it yet. Still going

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Why don't guys express themselves
I just want an understanding as to why a guy will hold in all or majority of their emotions and feelings when it comes to their girlfriends... Not
Part 2
Apparently I am rife with confusion over this gentleman. So he and I had a perfect date yesterday. We have a great amount in common, and our
Tinder is making me hate women
I thought I'd set up a Tinder account again. This time I tried to take better photos, with my face clearly shown, with myself at a party, and a photo
Kissing
Why does my boyfriend kiss me with his eyes open?
Resentment towards bf..
Lately I have been struggling with wanting to have a healthy relationship with my partner however things in the past are constantly being brought up
Boyfriend of 3 years had been sleeping with escorts and going on dates
I've always had an unexplainable feeling that my boyfriend might be unfaithful but I always chalked that up to my own insecurities. I know it's
Is there a future?
I'm 22 and about to enter my PhD at an Ivey league University. I've been dating the most patient, understanding, affectionate, funny, and adoring man
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •