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Thread: from a dumpers perspective

  1. #1
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2011

    from a dumpers perspective

    I am a dumpee and have had very little contact with my ex. I have not initiated any contact for months but she has, a few times... I have responded politely every time but am now thinking of just ignoring her.

    What do you think the dumper thinks when the dumpee ignores them? Will they just get the point that we don't want contact? will they find it rude? Do they still think we are not over them?

    Pure curiosity....Thanks

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    At some point you would hope they would stop contacting you... I don't know what to really say about this as I've been on both sides of this fence. Having dumped my last ex and having been dumped in the past I know that I've had to ignore past contact when I had no reason to believe my ex changed. She stopped talking after I stopped responding... so I could only assume if you kept up ignoring them that they'd go away.

    Being the dumper most recently and having been trying to reach out to my ex lately, I know I would hope she would respond and not ignore me. I know in all likelihood that she will probably just ignore me and that I'm wasting my time... I wouldn't find the lack of a response rude though, I would understand it completely. A part of me has always hoped she'd find her way back to me. Now that she is broken up with her bf and is single again, I can't help hoping she'll give me a nother chance.

  3. #3
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    I would think you are hurt, and that you have all reason to be. I would probably understand.

    You know ignoring her is the best thing you can do to obstruct her healing, though. Dumpers like to reach out to ease their guilt and validate their decision to breakup. So by ignoring her you're not helping her ease her guilt. You would essentially be making her retard her healing... Go NC, worry about yourself, and stop helping her heal because she didn't give a * * * * about your feelings when she dumped you.

    Who gives a * * * * what she thinks? It's all about you now!

  4. #4
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Slammin I told ya man...just block her number and any form of communication that she has to get in touch with you.

    Like tryptophan says and like I have said...who cares what is going on with her and why dwell and think about the what if's, or I wonder's, JUST LET IT GO.

    Ignore the * * * * * and move on...

  5. #5
    Platinum Member thejigsup's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Los Angeles, CA
    Whenever I have been dumped, I hope the dumper may someday contact me. When I have been the dumper, I hope the dumpee will never contact me. Both situations hurt, believe me.

  6. #6
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Brooklyn, New York
    Depends on the situation. Like someone said above, being there for them is helping them cope with their decision (especially if you try to pretend you are fine with it). Dont give them that! Let them realize what life is without you. Pretend life is good.

    Depending on the dumper, they might miss you from no contact, miss being with someone, wonder how you moved on and would want to keep tabs on you (tabs on someone they didnt like, but they took a lil shot to their ego, which might mean they might start thinking, "woah, hes over me, maybe i was the problem?" or they might start to want what they dont have) or happy that you finally moved on and do what they always wanted to do (ughhh).

    I guess it depends on how and why she/he broke up with you.


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