Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: from a dumpers perspective

  1. #1
    slammin16
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    115

    from a dumpers perspective

    I am a dumpee and have had very little contact with my ex. I have not initiated any contact for months but she has, a few times... I have responded politely every time but am now thinking of just ignoring her.

    What do you think the dumper thinks when the dumpee ignores them? Will they just get the point that we don't want contact? will they find it rude? Do they still think we are not over them?

    Pure curiosity....Thanks

  2. #2
    DaveCummings
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    193
    At some point you would hope they would stop contacting you... I don't know what to really say about this as I've been on both sides of this fence. Having dumped my last ex and having been dumped in the past I know that I've had to ignore past contact when I had no reason to believe my ex changed. She stopped talking after I stopped responding... so I could only assume if you kept up ignoring them that they'd go away.

    Being the dumper most recently and having been trying to reach out to my ex lately, I know I would hope she would respond and not ignore me. I know in all likelihood that she will probably just ignore me and that I'm wasting my time... I wouldn't find the lack of a response rude though, I would understand it completely. A part of me has always hoped she'd find her way back to me. Now that she is broken up with her bf and is single again, I can't help hoping she'll give me a nother chance.

  3. #3
    Tryptophan
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    917
    Gender
    Female
    I would think you are hurt, and that you have all reason to be. I would probably understand.

    You know ignoring her is the best thing you can do to obstruct her healing, though. Dumpers like to reach out to ease their guilt and validate their decision to breakup. So by ignoring her you're not helping her ease her guilt. You would essentially be making her retard her healing... Go NC, worry about yourself, and stop helping her heal because she didn't give a * * * * about your feelings when she dumped you.

    Who gives a * * * * what she thinks? It's all about you now!

  4. #4
    blackhawks1287
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    701
    Slammin I told ya man...just block her number and any form of communication that she has to get in touch with you.

    Like tryptophan says and like I have said...who cares what is going on with her and why dwell and think about the what if's, or I wonder's, JUST LET IT GO.

    Ignore the * * * * * and move on...

  5. #5
    thejigsup
    Platinum Member thejigsup's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA
    Age
    60
    Posts
    7,518
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    317
    Whenever I have been dumped, I hope the dumper may someday contact me. When I have been the dumper, I hope the dumpee will never contact me. Both situations hurt, believe me.

  6. #6
    Thorshammer
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Brooklyn, New York
    Posts
    4,319
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    3
    Depends on the situation. Like someone said above, being there for them is helping them cope with their decision (especially if you try to pretend you are fine with it). Dont give them that! Let them realize what life is without you. Pretend life is good.

    Depending on the dumper, they might miss you from no contact, miss being with someone, wonder how you moved on and would want to keep tabs on you (tabs on someone they didnt like, but they took a lil shot to their ego, which might mean they might start thinking, "woah, hes over me, maybe i was the problem?" or they might start to want what they dont have) or happy that you finally moved on and do what they always wanted to do (ughhh).

    I guess it depends on how and why she/he broke up with you.

  7.  

Top Threads
Reconciliation after multiple breakups
This will be a long story, but bear with me; I have been with my girlfriend for 7 years. The first 3 months we were in the same place in Europe, but
I'm just so ANGRY
I think this must be a normal phase in the healing process, but jesus... I am just so ANGRY with him over these last few days!!! Before that I had
She Calls After Almost 5 Months NC
[url]https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=511639&highlight=kickedin[/url] SO for anyone who's read my posts.... I went out last night
He calls me every day
Ever since my ex left town he has been calling me every day, sometimes more than once. It's so hard because all I want is to be with him again. We
Lonely night
Single dad...kids are settled...Friday night. Miss my exgirlfriend. Tonight at this point would be a great time for snuggling. Miss the
What do you guys do with unanswered questions?
Me and my ex broke up recently, mostly due to the fact we went through an abortion a year ago. I didn't want it to end, but she did. Anyway, there
Loneliness amongst other things..
Hello. Just a brief post here a slight vent, I suppose. I'm feeling really alone lately and I know I can't really be trying with any other

Featured Threads
Who is in the wrong?
This person isn't really a "friend" she is 24+ years older than me. I have a feeling I'm getting taken advantage of because of my age. I started
I became engaged with a girl who calls herself a "free spirit"......need clarity
I met a wonderful and bright girl 3.5 years ago and she by far stole my heart. She is appositely beautiful, funny, intelligent and outgoing. She is
Has anyone ever totally given up on finding love?
Hello everyone! Well I been wanting to post this for a few weeks now. I don't really know how to say it or word it. But, who here has or knows
Today "should" have been our 6 year anniversary
Today was suppose to be our 6th year together. Today is the first time on this date that we are not together. We made this date a big deal
Shoud I break up because my girlfriend hooked up with my cousin in t
I'm jealous because my girlfriend had casual sex with my cousin before she met me. We've been dating for a year, she's very funny, caring, sexy
I'm in love with my co-worker 😥
My coworker and I started working together about 10 months ago. We work closely together all day just the two of us mainly. From the day he started
Aggressive Courting
There's this girl I really, really like, and would really want to be in a relationship with. Unfortunately, recently I messed up, and now I think she
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •