Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: from a dumpers perspective

  1. #1
    slammin16
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    115

    from a dumpers perspective

    I am a dumpee and have had very little contact with my ex. I have not initiated any contact for months but she has, a few times... I have responded politely every time but am now thinking of just ignoring her.

    What do you think the dumper thinks when the dumpee ignores them? Will they just get the point that we don't want contact? will they find it rude? Do they still think we are not over them?

    Pure curiosity....Thanks

  2. #2
    DaveCummings
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    193
    At some point you would hope they would stop contacting you... I don't know what to really say about this as I've been on both sides of this fence. Having dumped my last ex and having been dumped in the past I know that I've had to ignore past contact when I had no reason to believe my ex changed. She stopped talking after I stopped responding... so I could only assume if you kept up ignoring them that they'd go away.

    Being the dumper most recently and having been trying to reach out to my ex lately, I know I would hope she would respond and not ignore me. I know in all likelihood that she will probably just ignore me and that I'm wasting my time... I wouldn't find the lack of a response rude though, I would understand it completely. A part of me has always hoped she'd find her way back to me. Now that she is broken up with her bf and is single again, I can't help hoping she'll give me a nother chance.

  3. #3
    Tryptophan
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    917
    Gender
    Female
    I would think you are hurt, and that you have all reason to be. I would probably understand.

    You know ignoring her is the best thing you can do to obstruct her healing, though. Dumpers like to reach out to ease their guilt and validate their decision to breakup. So by ignoring her you're not helping her ease her guilt. You would essentially be making her retard her healing... Go NC, worry about yourself, and stop helping her heal because she didn't give a * * * * about your feelings when she dumped you.

    Who gives a * * * * what she thinks? It's all about you now!

  4. #4
    blackhawks1287
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    701
    Slammin I told ya man...just block her number and any form of communication that she has to get in touch with you.

    Like tryptophan says and like I have said...who cares what is going on with her and why dwell and think about the what if's, or I wonder's, JUST LET IT GO.

    Ignore the * * * * * and move on...

  5. #5
    thejigsup
    Platinum Member thejigsup's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA
    Age
    60
    Posts
    7,566
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    340
    Whenever I have been dumped, I hope the dumper may someday contact me. When I have been the dumper, I hope the dumpee will never contact me. Both situations hurt, believe me.

  6. #6
    Thorshammer
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Brooklyn, New York
    Posts
    4,319
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    3
    Depends on the situation. Like someone said above, being there for them is helping them cope with their decision (especially if you try to pretend you are fine with it). Dont give them that! Let them realize what life is without you. Pretend life is good.

    Depending on the dumper, they might miss you from no contact, miss being with someone, wonder how you moved on and would want to keep tabs on you (tabs on someone they didnt like, but they took a lil shot to their ego, which might mean they might start thinking, "woah, hes over me, maybe i was the problem?" or they might start to want what they dont have) or happy that you finally moved on and do what they always wanted to do (ughhh).

    I guess it depends on how and why she/he broke up with you.

  7.  

Top Threads
What makes a man go back to an abusive woman?
So many of you will have read my story...in brief, I met someone who was just out of a 7 year toxic, abusive relationship. We dated for 2 months and
Happy 3 month anniversary of being single
Today marks exactly 3 months that I've been a single woman. I've reached my lowest lows, And I crawled out of it. I feel empowered and much stronger
I don't know where to start
I've been in a relationship for 18 years and it's finally over. After months of torture dealing with his psychological problems I found his online
Controlling ex
I really need some advice/opinions on my situation, as I no longer know where to turn..(last three paragraphs are my my real concern, the rest is
Trying to quit stalking.
I'm trying really hard to keep this NC thing, but is not being easy. I know by fact he does no good to me, that our relationship was toxic and I
Bf keeps breaking up and sleeps with other girls
Hi all, first: thank you in advance for any advice. I met my boyfriend 1 year ago. During that time, he broke up with me twice, once in November
There is an end to it! Hang in there
Hey all, There is an end to the hurt. For those of you who haven't read my story please fell free to. For those of you who helped me THANK

Featured Threads
Parent and relationships problems
So clearly i need help sooo i will get right into the story.....sorry its so long I am a 25 year old male who is in a relationship with my 19
My boyfriend is trying to date other woman on online dating site.
I really need help. I am so confused. My boyfriend is on online dating site. He said he wants to date other women. We were on and off relationship
My wife left me without having even a talk
Hi everybody, I wonder if this is normal just to leave a marriage of 7 years without having a proper talk before moving on? It happened to me that
Confused about FWB
Last weekend my FWB and I made plans to meet up. He drove down from his place to go to a party with friends, afterwards he was coming to spend the
Everything is just JUMBLED
I have an extremely, EXTREMELY screwed up life. At least from my point of view it is. At least I think I'm the only one that knows my own
Getting over someone to be with them again later?
Long story short, my ex broke up with me after 4 years because he said he was immature and needed to grow up without me and part of that was meeting
Need Advice - it's urgent for me
Hello Everyone, I meesed up my life and I take full responsibilty. I ned advice and what to do to remedy the situation immediately and prevent it
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •