Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: from a dumpers perspective

  1. #1
    slammin16
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    115

    from a dumpers perspective

    I am a dumpee and have had very little contact with my ex. I have not initiated any contact for months but she has, a few times... I have responded politely every time but am now thinking of just ignoring her.

    What do you think the dumper thinks when the dumpee ignores them? Will they just get the point that we don't want contact? will they find it rude? Do they still think we are not over them?


    Pure curiosity....Thanks

  2. #2
    DaveCummings
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    193
    At some point you would hope they would stop contacting you... I don't know what to really say about this as I've been on both sides of this fence. Having dumped my last ex and having been dumped in the past I know that I've had to ignore past contact when I had no reason to believe my ex changed. She stopped talking after I stopped responding... so I could only assume if you kept up ignoring them that they'd go away.

    Being the dumper most recently and having been trying to reach out to my ex lately, I know I would hope she would respond and not ignore me. I know in all likelihood that she will probably just ignore me and that I'm wasting my time... I wouldn't find the lack of a response rude though, I would understand it completely. A part of me has always hoped she'd find her way back to me. Now that she is broken up with her bf and is single again, I can't help hoping she'll give me a nother chance.

  3. #3
    Tryptophan
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    917
    Gender
    Female
    I would think you are hurt, and that you have all reason to be. I would probably understand.

    You know ignoring her is the best thing you can do to obstruct her healing, though. Dumpers like to reach out to ease their guilt and validate their decision to breakup. So by ignoring her you're not helping her ease her guilt. You would essentially be making her retard her healing... Go NC, worry about yourself, and stop helping her heal because she didn't give a * * * * about your feelings when she dumped you.

    Who gives a * * * * what she thinks? It's all about you now!

  4. #4
    blackhawks1287
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    701
    Slammin I told ya man...just block her number and any form of communication that she has to get in touch with you.

    Like tryptophan says and like I have said...who cares what is going on with her and why dwell and think about the what if's, or I wonder's, JUST LET IT GO.

    Ignore the * * * * * and move on...

  5. #5
    thejigsup
    Platinum Member thejigsup's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA
    Age
    60
    Posts
    7,476
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    299
    Whenever I have been dumped, I hope the dumper may someday contact me. When I have been the dumper, I hope the dumpee will never contact me. Both situations hurt, believe me.

  6. #6
    Thorshammer
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Brooklyn, New York
    Posts
    4,319
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    3
    Depends on the situation. Like someone said above, being there for them is helping them cope with their decision (especially if you try to pretend you are fine with it). Dont give them that! Let them realize what life is without you. Pretend life is good.

    Depending on the dumper, they might miss you from no contact, miss being with someone, wonder how you moved on and would want to keep tabs on you (tabs on someone they didnt like, but they took a lil shot to their ego, which might mean they might start thinking, "woah, hes over me, maybe i was the problem?" or they might start to want what they dont have) or happy that you finally moved on and do what they always wanted to do (ughhh).

    I guess it depends on how and why she/he broke up with you.

  7.  

Top Threads
What does your ex owe you?
Iíve seen a lot of posts lately about exes moving on too quickly or not being open to communicating or a whole host of perceived slights. And it got
Letter Revised (60 Days NC)
So, I posted here a few days ago with a lengthy apology letter that I was going to send to my ex. I've been thinking about this a lot (2 months, it's
Getting the last of my stuff tomorrow.
Hi all. I'm anxious today. I have to go get the last of my stuff from her tomorrow evening. Background: We're together 2 years. Lived together
Just found out ex having sex with someone else
Hi I am looking for a bit of advice, my ex and I were together for two years and have recently broke up. I have just found out she is having sex with
Venting I guess... I miss having sex.
So... I don't know if there is any real advice that can be given here. But I'm sure people here can at least relate and maybe share their
I want to give her this letter
I'll admit, I almost forced her to breakup with me because I was miserable. She left, it's been about 3 months since the breakup and approaching the
I lost my hopes and dreams
hi:) it's been months since my ex said he doesn't love me anymore and that he does not have these feelings he wished to have. He left for somebody

Featured Threads
He took my sisters virginity!
Well.. Here goes nothing. I don't have anyone to talk to and hoping to get some insight. My mind is confused and my heart is completely
Dating after working in the sex industry
Hey all, I'm coming out of a difficult time in my life where i worked as a sex worker. I just wanted some opinions on how to handle this when I begin
My boyfriend hangs out one on one with his ex am I right to feel uncomfortable?
Hi everyone, I posted here before about how my boyfriend and his ex are close friends. Long story short, they date for two years, realised they were
What does this mean?
I'm a 24 year old man and I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 5 years. But I'm feeling like this relationship is built on blind trust
Is this just "The 21st Century Woman?"
For the past 5 years, every woman I've dated (ages 25-32 we'll say) has had to stress to me immediately, before anything gets going, that they are
Venting I guess... I miss having sex.
So... I don't know if there is any real advice that can be given here. But I'm sure people here can at least relate and maybe share their
My boyfriend curses at me but says he's joking?
Hi everyone, My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 8 months and while everything has been great so far except that he curses at me but says
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •