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Thread: When and how to bring up exclusivity

  1. #1
    Member amyb's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007

    When and how to bring up exclusivity

    I have been dating this guy for about 2 months now, I know it's not a long time but I really like him and I'm pretty sure he likes me too. We have been intimate even though we haven't discussed being exclusive (I know some people on here don't agree with that). However, we have great chemistry and it felt right so I don't feel bad about it. Anyway, I know it's early but I would like to soon discuss being exclusive with him but don't know how and when to bring it up. Should I wait a while? Should I wait for him to bring it up? And if I do bring it up, how can I do it very subtly (sp?) so that it doesn't scare him off?
    I am the type of person that when I am dating someone and I like him I do NOT date other people. But I know that not everyone thinks that way so he might be dating or looking to date other people - I just don't know. It's ok of course since as I said it is still pretty early and we haven't discussed being exclusive. But I am wondering how long to wait???

  2. #2
    Member esrever's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Well, you seem to know what you want. Might as well ask, but bring it up when you're alone with him and try to preface it so that he doesn't feel like he has to say yes. If you can get an honest yes from him, then your relationship has a good chance of working out. And if you do it alone and so he doesn't feel he has to say yes and you get a no, then maybe it's time to move on or at least start looking around a little more.

  3. #3
    Forum Supporter Stay_home's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Washington, D.C.
    If becoming an exclusive item is really on your mind I would definitely bring it up and talk with him about it. A closed mouth doesn't get fed. And I'm sure you would rather hear about his position on the dating and what his mindset is like, rather than waiting until much later on and learning that he doesn't want the same level of committment. Sometimes people will keep their mouths shut on purpose to keep stuff going a certain way. Don't take that chance. Ask if you aren't sure.

  4. #4
    Ms Darcy
    Platinum Member Ms Darcy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    United States
    I personally would date another month.

  5. #5
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    You wait for him to bring it up.

    Your clearly very attached to this guy, so now you just wait for him to get just as attached to you.

  6. #6
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    This is not meant to sound offensive, but I can't wrap my head around how one can determine that it's not too early to sleep together, yet at the same time, they feel it's too early to ask where they stand.

    Also, I would have confirmed that he wasn't dating others before taking this step.


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