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Thread: How do I say sorry for lying?

  1. #1
    GenoGeno
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    How do I say sorry for lying?

    I come here with a question I don't really know how to answer...My ex and I split about a year and a half ago and kind of kept contact up until 6 months ago. I was a pretty * * * * ty boyfriend and it lead to her breaking up with me. We talked for a year and almost that whole time I tried to be manipulative and get her to hang out with me because I thought by some miracle I could spark the love up again if we just hung out. That's all I really thought about and thinking back on it, I am so utterly surprised at how brainwashed i was to not just give it a rest, she eventually didn't want to speak to me anymore. I then get an email asking if i lied to her about something in the relationship about 3 months later and that her hearts beating really fast and hoped I didn't. I was all angry at the time and just said yeah I did and felt bad but didn't want to speak to her. She then sent another email 3 months later asking for me to ship her shoes to her she left here. I said yeah okay..fine. but then just never did because I was still angry with the way she just shunned me off, she kept contacting and contacting about them until i finally told her look...I want nothing to do with you and I'm not doing a thing for you...she then proceeded to say. I find this silly and if you're going to make it hard for me I don't want them..thanks. Then blocked me on Facebook.

    I didn't care up until now...I was reading some old emails I sent to her during the time of the break up and to my amazement....I came off REALLY strong in wanting her back. I totally see what she was talking about all this time now and I feel really bad for lying to her because in all honestly she never did a thing to deserve that. The thing is I've apologized so many times in the relationship saying things would change but they never did. I remained to act childish and hurtful. I don't know what's recently come over me but my outlook on everything has significantly shifted for the better. I believe life is all about - living, laughing, loving, and learning from experience, be it pleasurable or painful. I find I'm extremely compassionate and empathetic towards others now a days. My goal is to live life to its fullest, surround myself with genuine people, and make a positive difference in the lives of others...this is like a complete 180 degrees switch from how I was. I was quite miserable before and it caused me to be a jerk, lie and just be a strait up downer about so much.
    I
    want to send her stuff back to her and on top of it send her some money I still owed her from before. I'm sure she thinks she was never going to get it back but I feel like that's the right thing to do considering she always actually spent her money she didn't have on me when I never had any money. I want to put her shoes, an envelope with some money in the box and a short little letter just saying that I am sorry for acting like a jerk, childish and lying to her....just how do i apologize for all that without coming off as just another broken apology that shouldn't be trusted? I guess I see how that story the boy who cried wold applies...you do something to much and it becomes worn out and people won't believe you anymore but...I actually do mean everything this time.

  2. #2
    mhowe
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    Do just what you want to do --- pack her shoes, her $$ and a short note saying you now realize you acted like an a$$ and while you don't expect her to forgive you, you hope that she has the wonderful life she deserves. The end.

    She's not going to come back because of your gesture, but I think it will allow you to move on and take this life lesson with you.

  3. #3
    GenoGeno
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    I don't expect her to come back, I just want to be sincere for once in my life with her.

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    mhowe
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    I get that....so just do it. "I sincerley want to apologize for my actions -- not only while we were together, but since we've been apart. I know you have heard the words "I'm sorry" from me more times than you can count, but you need to believe that for once, I truly mean them. Here are your shoes and the money I owe you. I hope this finds you in a place of happiness and peace --- GG.

  5. #5
    RedDress
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    Short and sweet.

    Shoes in box. Money (actually, it should be a money order - never send cash in the mail) in an envelope. And actually? I wouldn't make it long winded at all. Just write on the envelope "I was a jerk"

    I think that if you make the letter long-winded, if she's all jaded, she'll just roll her eyes and think you have some ulterior motive. Sometimes the less words you write, the more powerful.

  6. #6
    GenoGeno
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    Yeah I just feel like I want to say what I am sorry for so it doesn't just seem unthoughtful considering that's how I came off half the time. I don't get why I got so bad under a lot of stress...I can't put my finger on it. I was thinking of just writing this on a little flash card and taping it to the envelope.

    Hey i shouldn't have ignored your request for your shoes at the start of the year. I've been a huge jerk about everything and that's not going to get me anywhere in life being like that. Along with your shoes is an envelope with a hundred dollars in it. I wasn't too sure what I owed you left over from that $70 I gave you so this should cover that and the little things here and there you always helped me out with considering I am appreciative of that. I am sorry for lying to you and the hurt throughout the year by taking you for granted. Being mean, controlling and insensitive. You didn't deserve any of that in the slightest. If I could take all the wrong stuff back I would. I Hope you and your fam are doing well, take care.

    And yeah RedDress thanks for the money order tip. I've never really sent much in the mail and thought it may be secure.

  7. #7
    mindi
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    I agree that the shorter the note, the better in this case.

    I have been on the receiving side of someone (who lied all the time and cheated) trying to apologize for how they acted in the past. The longer the message, the less I wanted to read it and the more it sounded like bullsh*t.

    Short and sweet is the way to go.

  8. #8
    iBroken
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    You want to send "some" money?

    Geno, you have been trying to do this "I want to apologize" thing since you guys split. Unfortunately, all the damage has been done and at this point, I dont think she is waiting, or wanting an apology.

    She asked you for the shoes before, and you made it difficult for her. Throw the shoes out - shes already written off the loss. Dont send ANY money until you can pay it ALL back.

    And finally, delete all the old emails - Why after so long are you torturing yourself? You gotta let this girl go. You will never see whats in front of you if you are always looking in your rearview mirror.

  9. #9
    CatsMeeoow
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    Quote Originally Posted by RedDress [Register to see the link]
    Short and sweet.

    Shoes in box. Money (actually, it should be a money order - never send cash in the mail) in an envelope. And actually? I wouldn't make it long winded at all. Just write on the envelope "I was a jerk"

    I think that if you make the letter long-winded, if she's all jaded, she'll just roll her eyes and think you have some ulterior motive. Sometimes the less words you write, the more powerful.
    Right On!!!!

  10. #10
    ForumGuy
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    I think you should send her things along with the money, but forget the note. The action of sending the stuff will put you in a better light with her.

    Agreeing with iBroken....delete all the old emails....everything from the inbox, outbox...etc.

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