I come here with a question I don't really know how to answer...My ex and I split about a year and a half ago and kind of kept contact up until 6 months ago. I was a pretty * * * * ty boyfriend and it lead to her breaking up with me. We talked for a year and almost that whole time I tried to be manipulative and get her to hang out with me because I thought by some miracle I could spark the love up again if we just hung out. That's all I really thought about and thinking back on it, I am so utterly surprised at how brainwashed i was to not just give it a rest, she eventually didn't want to speak to me anymore. I then get an email asking if i lied to her about something in the relationship about 3 months later and that her hearts beating really fast and hoped I didn't. I was all angry at the time and just said yeah I did and felt bad but didn't want to speak to her. She then sent another email 3 months later asking for me to ship her shoes to her she left here. I said yeah okay..fine. but then just never did because I was still angry with the way she just shunned me off, she kept contacting and contacting about them until i finally told her look...I want nothing to do with you and I'm not doing a thing for you...she then proceeded to say. I find this silly and if you're going to make it hard for me I don't want them..thanks. Then blocked me on Facebook.
I didn't care up until now...I was reading some old emails I sent to her during the time of the break up and to my amazement....I came off REALLY strong in wanting her back. I totally see what she was talking about all this time now and I feel really bad for lying to her because in all honestly she never did a thing to deserve that. The thing is I've apologized so many times in the relationship saying things would change but they never did. I remained to act childish and hurtful. I don't know what's recently come over me but my outlook on everything has significantly shifted for the better. I believe life is all about - living, laughing, loving, and learning from experience, be it pleasurable or painful. I find I'm extremely compassionate and empathetic towards others now a days. My goal is to live life to its fullest, surround myself with genuine people, and make a positive difference in the lives of others...this is like a complete 180 degrees switch from how I was. I was quite miserable before and it caused me to be a jerk, lie and just be a strait up downer about so much.
want to send her stuff back to her and on top of it send her some money I still owed her from before. I'm sure she thinks she was never going to get it back but I feel like that's the right thing to do considering she always actually spent her money she didn't have on me when I never had any money. I want to put her shoes, an envelope with some money in the box and a short little letter just saying that I am sorry for acting like a jerk, childish and lying to her....just how do i apologize for all that without coming off as just another broken apology that shouldn't be trusted? I guess I see how that story the boy who cried wold applies...you do something to much and it becomes worn out and people won't believe you anymore but...I actually do mean everything this time.