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Thread: He doesnt want to lead me on?????

  1. #1
    Kuite09
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    Question He doesnt want to lead me on?????

    Hey ENA,

    Ive posted a couple of threads before and wanted to ask "the guys" something.

    My ex of 7 yrs told me he has been wanted to call but doesnt because he knows the break up hurt me a lot and he doesnt want to lead me on. When he stated he doesnt want to lead me on it made me feel like hes really trying to move on? but yet during the same phone call convo he tells me the feelings are still there and that he doesnt want to burn his bridges with me becuz our history of 7 yrs and becuz he loves me and cares for me.
    Its been limited contact since memorial weekend which is when i decided to stop contacting him due to drama on my end etc. I have reached out to him by text and he always replys and answers my calls.

    How should I take this?

  2. #2
    magnoliatree
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    When someone says that they don't want to lead you on, it means: I care about you and I'd like to talk to you, but I don't want to give you the wrong idea or hope because I don't want to be with you.

    I think you should go NC.

  3. #3
    iBroken
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    Agree with Magnolia. He is telling you that you guys have a long history together and he still cares for you, but he doesnt want to confuse you and lead you on to believe you will get back together.

  4. #4
    LTS48
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    How long ago was the breakup? How long has he not been in contact with you?

  5. #5
    Kuite09
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    Quote Originally Posted by magnoliatree [Register to see the link]
    When someone says that they don't want to lead you on, it means: I care about you and I'd like to talk to you, but I don't want to give you the wrong idea or hope because I don't want to be with you.

    I think you should go NC.
    Magnoliatree,
    I have been NC since that day we spoke on the phone which was 2 weeks ago.
    The reason he called is becuz I sent him a card for the date we met 7 yrs ago, and he called to say thanks we have a non-drama convo but yes he did tell me that.
    He also knows what I want and a couple of weeks back I text him with the following...

    Me- No matter what i will aways love you
    him- I feel the same too, always.

    Then the next day he sent another text saying: Thanks for the text it meant a lot to me and then I wrote back you are welcome and hope one day things can be different and he said: Maybe one day it can and I miss you.

    So we've had limited positive drama free contact but since the day he told me he doesnt want to lead me on I decided to stop contact and if he wants he can contact me.

    At least hes being mature and respecting how I feel.

  6. #6
    Kuite09
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    Quote Originally Posted by LTS48 [Register to see the link]
    How long ago was the breakup? How long has he not been in contact with you?
    We broke up in March but stayed in contact becuase he was there for me due to family issues in March and April and in May i started the nagging, begging process which didn't help at all then i got hurt my foot and he went to the hospital with me and took me home and took care of me which was memorial weekend and that next day i started again with the begging and whys and I decided to go no contact.
    Since then he hasnt not made any attemps, I texted him 3 times and all 3 times I got a reply. One day I told him I missed his voice and he said i'll call you in a few so we can chat and he did and then the 2nd time we spoke it was becase I sent him a card on the date we met 7 yrs ago and he called to say thanks and we spoke for 30min or so.

    I know this man loves and cares but i guess he just got tired of my b.s.

  7. #7
    magnoliatree
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kuite09 [Register to see the link]
    So we've had limited positive drama free contact but since the day he told me he doesnt want to lead me on I decided to stop contact and if he wants he can contact me.
    Good!! Keep up with the no contact. No more cards, no more missing yous, no more nothing. Some may disagree with me, but doing those things can feel pushy and can eventually come off as slightly drama-y and/or negative to others. So good job on going NC and stay strong!!

  8. #8
    Kuite09
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    Quote Originally Posted by magnoliatree [Register to see the link]
    Good!! Keep up with the no contact. No more cards, no more missing yous, no more nothing. Some may disagree with me, but doing those things can feel pushy and can eventually come off as slightly drama-y and/or negative to others. So good job on going NC and stay strong!!
    Yea i know. I already did my moves and if anything its up to him to make a move.
    He did state who knows maybe one day i'll surprise you unexpected with a lil something (not sure why he even said that)

    Like he said he already knows how I feel and ive stated in 2 occasion that I hope one day things can be different between us.

  9. #9
    LTS48
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    Yeah, the card was waaaaay too much. He is being nice about things for sure, but you kind of have to let yourself understand that words mean nothing. If he wanted you/felt like you did/loved you then he would make an effort to come back. I know how tempting/comforting it can be to read in to what he's saying but it really is just prolonging the inevitable.

    NC from now on, no cards, no msgs, its been almost 5 months since the BU. Time to start really moving on.

  10. #10
    listed
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    he doesn't "want" to lead you on but he is doing so

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