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Thread: Life On The Rocinante' (After Dark!)

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Miss Firecracker's Avatar
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    I'm reading, Cynder. Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Cynder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DN
    I am concerned that you are knowingly doing things that are not in your best interests.
    You have every right to be concerned... because in a way you are right.

    I am trying to surround myself with more positive people... Lately I've been spending all this time hanging out at Aimee's house more because of Aaron then because of Aimee. I see him as a positive person... But the downside to that is he lives with her for the time being and so whenever I hang out with him I have to deal with her.

    Him and I click really well. There aren't many people I can sit up all night talking to, even multiple times. Him and I have killed a few nights that way. We never run out of stuff to talk about. She keeps wondering why I haven't slept with him. She'll text me afterwords and be like "You had all that time alone with him and nothing?" But really, it isn't nothing.

    He even told me during our last all nighter that he loves talking to me... and he could sleep with anyone but people he can really talk to like that are rare. So, I guess the feeling is mutual.

    I feel like I need to turn off this infatuation I have for him... And I am infatuated... He has me completely enamored. I feel like if I keep allowing myself to feel this way it's only going to end in disaster. But at the same time I think if circumstance allowed it I could fall absolutely crazy in love with him. I know everyone feels that way in the haze of infatuation... But usually infatuation dies out quick when you spend enough time with someone and realize they aren't all they are cracked up to be. The more time I spend with him the more deep I get myself into this.

    I don't know how he feels about me... I know he at least feels attraction for me and he likes our long talks.

    And him and I have all this odd quirky stuff in common... I was diagnosed mentally ill at a young age and forced to take psych drugs all through my teen years. So was he. The two situations are a lot alike. His Mom died when he was 22. My Dad died when I was 22. It's just strange... all the parallels.

    Idk... sorry DN. I know I started out answering you and went off on my own little tangent. But in short I think you are right. I hope he moves out of her place soon... He's already looking for another place.
    Last edited by Cynder; 07-26-2011 at 07:22 PM.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member Cynder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DrKitten
    Hey Cynder. I just found your journal and wanted to leave a little reassurance that I do find your life and writing interesting. I also really like your photography on your blog. Looks like you live in a beautiful area.

    I'll be reading. See you around.
    I do!!! Live in a beautiful area that is... If I don't come home from Europe, it's sad to admit it, but I will miss the wetlands more then most of the people I know here. The wetland is one of my favorite places on Earth. I want my ashes scattered there after science has used me for whatever it has planned.

    I love your Avatar, btw.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member Cynder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by tinu
    Yes, same here. I think you write well Cynder. Keep writing!
    [QUOTE=Miss Firecracker;4915971]I'm reading, Cynder.

    Thanks to both of you. I really was starting to wonder if anyone read this, lol.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member Cynder's Avatar
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    I get amazed by my own ESP... even though I've always had it. I was sitting here a minute ago getting ready to turn my pod off when the current song was over. And out of nowhere I thought "House of the Rising Sun." It just popped into my head. Guess what song came on next?

    This happens to me all the time. It happens a lot with forms of entertainment... songs, movies, certain episodes of TV shows. I could be thinking about a certain episode of the Simpsons or something... then a few minutes later flip on the TV, not even be looking for the Simpsons, and the Simpsons are on and it's that episode.

    This happens to my brother too. We used to talk about it when we were younger and the rest of the family thought we were nuts. Ironically, we were both diagnosed with mental illnesses growing up.

    This is something reported a lot by Synesthetes. And, there are a lot of cases of siblings with Synesthesia. As rare as the condition is, its still common to have more then one in a family. I really want to get my brother alone and start asking him if he sees sounds... etc.

    Maybe when I make my film about this I can focus on him. Focusing on both of us would be cool... but I don't want to star in my own film. That's tacky.

    I am still absolutely fascinated that all my mental quirks... or at least most of them... are things that are associated with having Synesthesia. Why in the hell did none of the shrinks notice this?

    I wish I could show the world how I see it... I do, I wish everyone could have my senses for an hour or so. Trying to explain what it's like is like trying to explain red to a blind person. No one could ever understand. But, in return, I never could understand what it's like not having this. I can't even fathom not seeing sounds, not tasting words, not seeing letter and numbers as colored and as male or female.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member Cynder's Avatar
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    She wanted me to come over tonight and I didn't really feel like it. Then she told me she's sitting at her neighbor's place and Aaron isn't home. So I decided not to go anywhere. I have laundry to do and my pets miss me.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member Cynder's Avatar
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    Second shift is getting more and more tempting every day... 4am is getting harder and harder. Sleep deprivation can slowly kill a person.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member Cynder's Avatar
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    B wants to buy me a camera so I can finish my documentary... I wonder what he expects in return... I don't even want to think about it.

  10. #29
    Platinum Member Cynder's Avatar
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    Great... call me into a meeting that takes up my whole lunch break... then get mad at me for for taking my whole break... what the hell? I only get a twenty minute lunch. I'm taking the whole thing.

  11. #30

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    Originally Posted by Cynder
    Great... call me into a meeting that takes up my whole lunch break... then get mad at me for for taking my whole break... what the hell? I only get a twenty minute lunch. I'm taking the whole thing.
    My wife has to deal with that scenario all the time. It's really unfair.

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