Break Up sex?

Just curious as to who has had break up sex? Im wondering because I have never, but I have had getting back together sex and it was pretty memorable..

And 2nd question, if you had break up sex were there hope to be back together with this person or was this a one time deal? My ex who is now wanting me back for the 5th time is officially calling it quits with his ex gf who wishes to get back together with him. He is doing it today or has done it already letting her know he does not wish to have any contact with her or friendship with her anymore or at least until she has moved on.....

Why is is that he told me to not be mad if I don't hear from him? Is it because he plans to sleep with her again? I just don't understand why he thinks its ok to do this to me......=( Am I over reacting by thinking this? He told me not to be mad at him if I don't hear from him, just means hes dealing with drama ....He did tell me she would cry and possibly get very very emotional "suicial possibly" but this girl gave him an ultimatum either to be friends with her and stop seeing me or vise versa....I gave him the same ultimatum a couple days ago and he told me he chooses me he just doesn't want to hurt anybody....Im so confused and frustrated, I blew off a date tonight because it wouldn't of felt right...But Im just so hurting right now, want to sleep but....How? What if last minute they had sex and he chose her?=( This is the girl he made move out of his place "for me," Broke up with "for me..." but she still continued to invade his life by not sending her mail to another address and asking him for continuous amount of favors.....

Uuuh I just want her out of his life so I can have part in it and see if we really do have a spark or not...I care about this man a lot even though he has hurt me many times...

Not a good way to go about it. I learnt the hard way about a girl "Leaving someone" for me. It never ends well, there's nothing to say they won't do it again, which she eventually did. Yay. Be careful miss

Break up sex....errrrrr.....not good.

From what I've read of your posts it seems like you are both not sure what you guys really want. Please don't have breakup sex. It will only complicate things worse. Good luck to you.

Im not talking about him and I having break up sex....Im asking if you think he would with his ex who he is deciding to not be friends with in order to be with me? FML

Based on your threads, im not even sure he is going to really break up with her. So ya, there might be more sex

It depends on his ex I think. I don't know what kind of person she is but it's always a possibility. Just sit down and talk with him and be completely honest and say "look, I have some concerns that I really need to talk to you about and I just want to be reassured that we are both on the same page about this". That's what I'd say anyway. Do you believe that you can trust him not to do that to you?

Given how you have let him treat you for months, whether he has sex with his "ex" girlfriend is the least of your worries - the concern remains as to why you continue to settle for scraps - and the reason is not "because I love him" because given how you're treating yourself it's difficult to see how you can have a healthy loving relationship with this person when you have not yet chosen to have one with yourself. The best scenario here would be if he had sex with her (not break up sex - because like the many other times he's not really breaking things off- it's just sex) and that bothered you enough so that you would cut him loose and then be motivated to choose to get to the core of why you treat yourself so badly.

He did it today...He txted me telling me...He said he wants to see me and needs me....I continue to settle for scraps because I don't believe he is scraps...And I love myself and am very confident...Sooo it is what it is...

Wait I am confused, which guy is this one? I'm sorry I don't want to go through all the threads.

we don't talk about much more than just sex....I hope this is not all I am to him=(

all you do and talk about is related to sex? hmmmmm....seems like an easy one to me....

He did it today...He txted me telling me...He said he wants to see me and needs me....I continue to settle for scraps because I don't believe he is scraps...And I love myself and am very confident...Sooo it is what it is...

He is giving you scraps - you want a relationship and he is offering sex while he continues to have sex with his "ex" girlfriend. I am sure that if you loved yourself you wouldn't have pursued someone else's boyfriend in the first place and continued to return to a situation that wasn't what you wanted. That's the opposite of self-love and confidence.

we don't talk about much more than just sex....I hope this is not all I am to him=(

This isn't good. Sorry. You mentioned that you have broken up 5 times (I may be wrong about this, but I think I read that earlier in this thread), which doesn't bode well for this relationship. Consider his track record: He was messing around with you when he was with her. You both gave him ultimatums, and he was put in a position where he had to choose. He's TELLING you he chooses you, but...how do you know he didn't tell her the same thing? The fact is, you have no idea what he's actually doing here. You're believing everything he's telling you, even after he's proven himself to be dishonest in carrying on with you when he had a girlfriend.

Now, he's just talking sex with you, which says to me that sex is primarily what he wants from you. And, he knows you believe everything he says, so he can keep you hanging on while possibly pursuing other women -- sorry, but I don't think this guy is going to just stick with one woman. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that, even if he really did break up with the girlfriend, he's not done with her. She'll be hearing from him again -- or he'll be hearing from her.

Please reconsider believing what this guy says.

It seems like it, but Im usually the one bringing it up, he does too but I feel like thats where we relate the most, soooo I send sexy pictures, provacative poses and we just talk about it a lot!....I told him this lastnight and told him I don't know if I should follow my heart anymore, and he told me he really wants to be with me and he will proove the world wrong about how he feels about me...We plan to see eachother tonight. I never thought Id believe anything else he says after the whole situation with his ex, but I do...This time its supose to be a sure thing and Im really hopeing this time that its right....

I thought about telling him id like to be single for the the next few months just to give both of eachother time to think about what we want but I couldn't....Because I personally know what I want....He says he trully cares and digs me and cares about me in a non sexual way as well...He told me I should let him proove it...and He wants to hold me for hours next time we see eachother...It made me very happy to hear these things but...How do I know he is really done with her, what if he is saying the same thing to her? I just don't know...I FINALLY am getting what Ive wanted and been waiting forever for him to finally make the decision on his own without any force from me but SHE gave him an ultimatum and then 2-3 days late I did...I couldn't stand it anymore, waiting...and being anxious everytime he wasn't in my eye sight.

So he did it...Can you guys at least give him credit for making a decision? I just don't know, I feel like I have no support from anybody on here and verely with my own friends outside of this website...My facebook friends do not care for him either, but I DO...I don't think its anything to do with me not wanting to be alone because....I have moved on ...Got myself a job and go places by myself with no problems....----Im really needing someones support----- I can see this man being my husband one day.....might sound crazy but I can, and he is ready to settle down...

The good news is that you're going into this with your eyes wide open. He is a person who feels justified cheating on his girlfriend, feels justified in telling you he wants to be with you and then changing his mind, several times over (everyone gets a chance to be fickle but since he knows you have feelings for him one would think he'd be more careful the second time, the third time, etc). You know he is a person whose top priority is sex and being sexual, so you also know that he's not going to take kindly to you if you are too sick to have sex, if you are too pregnant to have sex, if on a random day you're simply not in the mood. You know that if you do that there is a high risk he will go out looking for it, or trade sexy texts or pictures with another woman or women, etc. It's good to have all this information about someone's values, standards and priorities going in to a relationship. It sounds like all of these "downsides" are worth it to you so that you can be with him in an "exclusive" relationship - in quotes since it's anybody's guess what "exclusive" rfreally means to him.

Bataya33 thank you for not being too hard on me, but showing tough love, I really really appriciate you sticking through my post's that have been going on forever now, it shows you really do care and that you aren't just bored pulling things out from your butt just to give advise and feel helpful...

I do think about what you are talking about "daily sometimes..." Im not a certified 10 out of ranking of attractiveness but I do love to have sex with the man I care about and I show it by the diff ways I make love to him and have a lot of enthusiasm for sex...But I see what u are saying, what if "God forbid" I got pregnant and couldn't have sex? And he cheated on me? It would absolutly kill me to find out=(

He comes accross as a man who has made his mistakes in life, tried many diff drugs and experiemented in past relationships and drugs but also who over came the drug addictions and is truly trying to be loyal to "one girl." who happened to be me....And thats my stand point on this situation. I have made many mistakes myself, I let myself get raped when I was conscious yet was drugged so I was paralyzed, yet I still screamed "vulgar language telling the man to have sex with me.." I remember giving oral and my friend being right next to me while giving it...But she never admitted to it and we were obviously not friends after that. I went to court but acted completley stupid, I was age 17 and was flirting with the lawyer who was trying to put these guys away....I got my house vandalized over this situation and was forced to switch schools....

But I also over came it...Still went to school, graduated, started work, made new friends and just tried to push all of that into the back of my head and notmake that mistake again. I no longer let men I verely know get me drinks and open them for me, I am questionable about being left alone with a man I don't know very well....Very much more careful about how much alcohol I drink...Im kinda like the momma of my friends....

He use to do drugs with his family "meth and cocaine and I believe acid" with his family and he told me one day they all decides to make a pact not to do that crap again and that its time to grow up...He tells me he touches coke every once in a blue moon but only if its 99% potent...And even then he doesn't really crave it...My gut tells me he may have done some of these drugs with his ex girlfriend and that may be why she still comes over, but thats just not proven....Sooo...

If he can quit these drugs and choose to not go back to them and decide to grow up. He is into construction and works hard, Why can't he really make the decision to settle down and mean it? .... I guess you can say Im "making excuse after excuse for him" but believe me, I am also weighing all the factors and fate can definetly be against me...against us...=(

Im really having a hard time not listening to my heart and what it wants =...(

I would wait until he's been completely sober for at least a year with no cocaine either (especially since he's already shown he has a tendency to abuse drugs), wait until he's been apart from his girlfriend for at least 6 months and then perhaps you can start to date him (although I would refrain from having sex until you two have been dating seriously for a few months at least and are committed to each other). No one ever said it is easy to resist temptation - it's all about choosing with your head and your heart what makes the most sense.

He has been sober for like 6yrs or something...I forget but he was really younge when he quit, like early 20s....As far as the girlfriend thing goes, I have no way to verify that he's stayed away from her...And refraining from sex would be very prude of me in his eyes Im sure...I kind of been sending pics and talking to him dirty and telling him what I want to do to him, etc....

He has been sober for like 6yrs or something...I forget but he was really younge when he quit, like early 20s....As far as the girlfriend thing goes, I have no way to verify that he's stayed away from her...And refraining from sex would be very prude of me in his eyes Im sure...I kind of been sending pics and talking to him dirty and telling him what I want to do to him, etc....

You wrote that he was still using cocaine. If your priority is not to be viewed as a prude because you choose to wait to have sex until you two are solidly committed and serious that's your choice. (And I guess you are fine being involved with someone who would view you as a prude for wanting to delay sex until you two strengthened your relationship emotionally, continued to be sexual/affectionate but simply waited to have intercourse until you were on sure footing). I'd be completely offended if anyone viewed me that way but that's just me. And that's the point -this is my personal opinion. I know I wouldn't be happily married now with a lovely family if I had treated myself like you treat yourself and chosen to be involved with someone who treats you as he has.

You can't have your cake and eat it too -if you want the thrills of focusing on sex and sexy pictures/texts and choosing not to focus on the risks of being involved with him in this way then that is your choice. But again, you need to continuously remind yourself of those risks and why you are doing it because you tend to indulge in feeling sorry for yourself when, once again, he treats you badly -meaning, consistently with his past treatment. In my opinion, you're showing him how to treat you, making excuses for your behavior and I can only conclude it's because your self image is consistent with a person who would rather have an active sex life with an unavailable, troubled person than be alone. Do you know any happily married/coupled people who have that self-image? I don't.

he does, only every once in a blue moon...We talked about it though and he isn't going to anymore, and he is going to try to quit smoking weed...Ur prob right....I since a lack of enthusiasm when we were on the phone just a few minutes ago.....I feel hurt=(

he does, only every once in a blue moon...We talked about it though and he isn't going to anymore, and he is going to try to quit smoking weed...Ur prob right....I since a lack of enthusiasm when we were on the phone just a few minutes ago.....I feel hurt=(

Other than "because I love him" have you figured out why you keep making so many excuses for him and lying to yourself about his character, behavior, and treatment of you?

There is no "trying" to quit using drugs just like there is no "trying" to break up with someone -you either do it or you don't.

No....I havn't other than I feel different this time about him... We talked lastnight and worked eachothers differences out...

No....I havn't other than I feel different this time about him... We talked lastnight and worked eachothers differences out...

Yes, I meant aside from your feelings. Feelings can change quickly as you have seen. It might be helpful to figure out why you are behaving this way, and taking the actions you are taking, including the lying to yourself, making excuses for his behavior and his behavior towards you, so that you can have a healthier relationship with yourself and potentially with him assuming that working out your differences means he is going to end things with his girlfriend, be with you exclusively, and stop taking drugs (since that concerns you as you wrote). Words are nice, feelings are nice, but it's the actions and behavior that really carry the day in a relationship. So far his actions towards you have mainly been sexual, disrespectful (to you and to his girlfriend), unreliable, manipulative, and inconsistent. Other than the good sex, doesn't sound like on balance his actions have been caring, considerate, thoughtful, sensitive or honest. So that's why, IMO you need to figure out why you're being so dishonest with yourself and justifying being involved with a person who has behaved like this for a long time.

LThe moment I texted him letting him know, I felt like he wasn't listening to me when we were on the phone, He called me 5 mins later...Lastnight we kinda worked things out as far as why I reacted the way I did...And we are working on us and trying to just go with the flow...He told me he feels like Im trying to make up reasons not to be together with him. he feels like Im looking for reasons to be upset and he asked me if I enjoy being upset? He told me he doesn't want to me the one who makes me upset..I told him I don't mean to its just Im having a hard time letting go of him and his ex and what he's done to me and how we started out...He told me she is for sure out of his life and he really digs me and likes to spend time and be with me, he told me he knows I am craving romance and he told me he won't disappoint me again and is this time going TRY. He sounded very sincere and we talked in person today. I was sick and he brought me soup, we will be seeing eachother tonight, and he said he will do whatever I want to do...If I want to go out, lets go out, stay in, thats fine, go see a movie..

He gave me $100 dollars the other night to help me with my electric bill which is only usually 50-80 but he asked me to turn the ac on when he's over here sleeping, so he forked me that over....

I don't know what the road has to hold for us or what doors will be opening our way, but I do believe this time, he may be serious enough, Im definetly watching carefully and observing...I also asked him the sex question about if I was on bed rest and preg with his baby would he be wanting to look for it elswhere...And he got a little butt hurt because he felt like I was calling him a complete Piece of crap..I told him a friends brought it up and hes all "which friend..." and I told him to not worry about it, it caused me to think about it myself...And he told me ofcourse not, and he finds pregn girls very attractive and thinks Id make a knock out preg girl, lol..And if I didn't want it and he was trying to hint to me he's in a mood and if I pulled away, he told me he'd feel a little neglected but wouldn't go and cheat on me for that...

I know its all just words right now, but he has been making an effort, answering my txt, calls...calling me more often and txting more often and also wantin gto see me and seeing me more often...In my heart I feel its a good thing to give it another chance....