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Thread: Why wont my girlfriend have sex with me "women help answer"?

  1. #1
    laxrocket
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    Why wont my girlfriend have sex with me "women help answer"?

    -Ok we've been in the relationship for eight months I am eighteen and so is she. We both like the same cheesy things and have independent goals. We both tell things to each other and help eachother with problems. Now I shall make of lists of our personal problems

    Me
    -i am repetitively nice and helpful putting myself before others always....examples is canceling a golf outing with my friend to help teach little kids to play lacrosse for my coach since he was short on exprienced players.
    -i had five previous girlfriends three cheated on me, one became a lesbian, and one moved away, all of which I never did anything with worthwhile. So I am a virgin
    -i am a goof of sorts sometimes socially awkward which messes with my physical appearance which I am very attractive and girls have literally come to me and hit on me. I have had many foreign girls ask to buy me drinks and well I turned them down. But sometimes I say the wrong thing
    - I am a healthy eater...I run allot and work to my fullest to be perfect.
    -i am horny and wish to be sexually active
    My girlfriend
    -vegetarian
    -had two boyfriends ones gay now and the other dumped her cause she wouldn't put out which is horribly wrong and he was a partier which even though its fun I just don't like that kind of life.
    - she is lot less horney
    -her mom left her with her father as a child so she sometimes considers me an older brother
    Ok so after being together a long time we've done things like blowjobs handjobs, fingering and dry hump or as I say wet hump cause I can make her .... well u understand. I am quite skilled at it where I can make her *** so easy everytime. I have out of god know how many *** twice. Her she gushes like no other.
    So I brought up this discussion on sex how I would like to do it soon but not plan it. she agrees. (Two months ago btw and well two weeks ago we were pretty much naked (only my boxers and her thong and dry humping (never gets me excited I do it for her I just like being close to her). So after she does her deed she goes well that was fun and starts saying how much she wanted me to put a condom on and she was like I want it I don't and back and forth. By then this reminded me of how my ex was saying this and was doing a guy behind my back...so I stubbornly explain she is teasing me and quit joking so I get ready to take her home.. she says she wasent lying and wants it more and soon. So I was like ok and happy. So weeks pass and bring it up and keep asking her about it afriad its like my old situation. Eventually she. Tells me that that's all I care about and I tell her I give her allot and I love her but I never get allot in return. She gets mad and tells me I shouldn't cause that's not her thing and so I ask her if she was lyong she says no and I say how long were u planing and she like whenever...I told her most guys take soon as two weeks and I feel un appreciated sexually and she's like we'll u don't have to do that but I say it makes her happy that's why....and sometimes I am hornier then others while she is only horny and never starts stuff so its hit and miss and when she wants fingering she doesn't give anything in return.

    Well we ended up having an argument on my personal feelings and desires. She is mad like that its a big deal and my sexuality will leave.which is hurtful like I have a disease or a condition and not a big deal that its something normal then why wont she. So we ended up telling me when I talk about sex or anything like that it turns her off. And she's the one that saiid u can tell me anything....so its being a hypocrite. Idk I just feel left out to my friends... and just her buddy not this guy she can be her desire...she is barely horney so its killing me...I ain't one to dump someone over **** like this I understand how it feels and I love her. I just want to know what to do cause I can't discuss what is on my mind about it. So any suggestions besides dump her or ur at fault and u suck or stop being selfish. I have finally convinced myself in a whole I am not good looking and ugly and not someone of her affections.

    I have begun to think about telling her I love her but I am not sexually appealed cause thats what she wants. Idk and I cant wait to hear the girls have deeper issues and your selfish you dont love her. Seriously I have stayed by her side through her grandmas funerals her graduation. taken her to work if she needs a ride and helped her with homework and studies.
    I take her into account but I feel left out of the equation most of the time.

  2. #2
    tresqua
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    Oh the irony.

    Here you post how wrong it is for some guy to dump her because she won't have sex with him:

    Quote Originally Posted by laxrocket [Register to see the link]
    had two boyfriends ones gay now and the other dumped her cause she wouldn't put out which is horribly wrong
    And you've been pestering her and presuring her for weeks or months to the point of heated arguments because she won't put out.

    Quote Originally Posted by laxrocket [Register to see the link]
    . So weeks pass and bring it up and keep asking her about it afriad its like my old situation. Eventually she. Tells me that that's all I care about ...I told her most guys take soon as two weeks and I feel un appreciated sexually..
    Well we ended up having an argument on my personal feelings and desires.
    You are WORSE than the other guy, at least he had his dealbreakers and he let her know it.

    She's giving you lots of other stuff, and that's where she is in regards to comfort level and you cannot force it. Well you can try, but it's manipulative and unreasonable to say the least.

    Either accept that she's not ready for sexual intercourse, and back off or end the relationship. What you're doing is unfair to her and not even nice. It's also counterproductive and there's a good chance she'll kick you to the curb first.

    You do this while you go and pass judgement on all her ex's and the guys who treat women so badly...unbelievable.


    Quote Originally Posted by laxrocket [Register to see the link]
    I have begun to think about telling her I love her
    If you "loved her" in the truest sense of the words you wouldn't be putting your wants and needs ahead of hers.

  3. #3
    OptomisticGirl
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    You aren't wrong and neither she is. She is comfortable with what is happening and the speed, you aren't. It doesn't make you a bad guy unless you start pressuring her because you are pushing YOUR views and YOUR comfort level on her, which is not fair.

  4. #4
    hexaemeron

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    Let's bear in mind the OP is 18... He's entitled to his views just as much as his gf is, though I agree. Trying to manipulate someone into giving up sex is... not rewarding.

    Advice, OP? Dump her and find someone who wants to bone.

  5. #5
    PlumCrazy
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    Sounds like she's playing you

  6. #6
    RelaxByWater84
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    Is she religious, and wants to wait til marriage for that to become part of her life?? That could play a factor in her decision. I'm not trying to start an argument over waiting or not waiting. I just wanted to give you another perspective that some people may hold.

  7. #7
    FathomFear
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    While sex and intimacy is a reasonable expectation between adults, you'll have to understand that you're both still 18. Some people choose not to become sexually active until later in life. If this is a dealbreaker for you I'm afraid you'll have to follow hex's advice. End the relationship and find someone else who is on your wavelength.

  8. #8
    laxrocket
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    Eigh that came out wrong. I have only pressured her once the fact she came to me and said oh I wanted to do it so bad and have it in me but I thought no...its like teasing and pisses me off. And the other guy got drunk and dumped her for it....I wouldnt so have I no...

  9. #9
    laxrocket
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    Yea she at first was like wait for marriage then changed her opinion to well that. After I first brought it up I felt bad cause she was like no so I was first ok and she said what I posted above and it ticked me off. I dont like being teased with no outcome.

  10. #10
    OptomisticGirl
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    Quote Originally Posted by laxrocket [Register to see the link]
    Yea she at first was like wait for marriage then changed her opinion to well that. After I first brought it up I felt bad cause she was like no so I was first ok and she said what I posted above and it ticked me off. I dont like being teased with no outcome.
    Then walk away. You have that right to not want that and she has a right to not be ready to give it up. Neither of you are wrong, but someone has to make a move.

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