Iím new so please be nice, I have been reading this forum for a few weeks but only today decided to write and ask for advice.
I have been in a 4month relationship (I know itís not long), the guy is 21years old and has been screwing with my head.
Basically the start of the relationship was great, he doesnít like talking on the phone but we used to text a lot. He works nights 10pm till 6am and would always text me at least once to during the night and always wanted to meet me during the week. He would go out of his way to stay in contact however he's an introvert with a really bad temper, someone who does not tell his problems to anyone, does not trust anyone and feels opening up will make him seem vulnerable. He's always kept himself slightly emotionally detached from me but blamed that on his ex who hurt him and left him for another man, at the start I kept my distance as did not want to get serious but he became a daily part of my life, I feel like iím addicted to him. He's a flirt I know and talks to girls whereas he's very insecure about me talking to guy's he actually told me to stop contacting my guy friends which I did not do as I have known them linger and he cannot control my life.
Well we had sex on the 22nd may, it felt wonderful just sitting next to him watching telly after but a guy friend of mine texted me saying I got my contract mins this time I wonít use them on you as he's been confiding in me about his r/ship problems. My boyfriend saw this and I could feel the tension in the air, I explained everything to him asked him if he trusted me and he said yes he did, well after that day everything went downhill! He stopped contacting me or would try and make me jealous, I met him once to discuss our problems but he just laughed it off changed the convo and left after 20mins. It has been a month since I last saw him and he has detached himself from me, itís always me making the effort to talk to him. Last week I found out he was back in contact with his ex so I confronted him and he told me we broke up last may and Iím not with her etc.
We have so many communication problems because he has built a wall around him and will go into shutdown mode if I even try talking about his problems so we canít communicate. He keeps saying I have changed but I have not so I donít understand where these feelings and thoughts come from. I broke up with him last month for a week, we had no contact but I could not resist and I contacted him, he seemed genuinely happy to talk to me but problems were raised again. He has a massive ego and is the type of person who would think 'she hasnít contacted me, I wonít contact her.'
The big problem is that he wonít break up with me! He wonít end our relationship, itís always me who does it and I go running back. He is the type of person who would remove a ex girlfriend out of his life to move on but I canít, I want to stay friends and keep the hope that one day we might get back to how we used to be but I know now that wonít happen!
He will go days without contacting me now and wonít bother until I text him, so last Wednesday I asked him why he wonít dump me and let me move on and his answer was because he doesnít want to and he loves me, but I donít feel that love 'vibe' from him anymore! I feel like a convenience some he talks to when he's bored. He did mention that he has had some problems and he'll be back to normal soon but I canít do this anymore!
I told him we should go no contact and Iíll contact him once I have healed and I actually felt really good until I got a phone call at 4am while I was asleep, it threw me right back to square one, I keep thinking why, did he call? Does he miss me? Etc
What should I do? Do I reply or what?
Sorry for the long post I didnít know how to make it short.