#1 reason why men break up with women.

So.....I read something intereting. According to relationship experts and psychologists....the #1 reason that men break up with women is because they feel a lack or respect, appreciation and admiration from their women. Sure, they can use the reasons "I found someone else" or "I just lost interest" or "I need time apart", but it all stems back to the fact that they didn't feel like they were making their women happy, and were therefore not satisfying her, which can be a major stab to the ego.

Would you agree with this? I can also say that my boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago, and he has used the above excuses, but as time goes on, he is opening up more and more to the real reason. He felt unappreciated. He felt at times that I did not love him. He felt like he couldn't make me happy and that I would eventually leave him for someone better.

Just thought this was interesting, even more so because it made sense in my own situation.

How many of you agree with this?

I can relate to being unappreciated, you kind of wonder if the other person really wants to be in a relationship with you. Most often they don't if you feel this way or they are not as invested in the relationship as you are Not sure about thinking they would leave you, I think that's a bit paranoid but wanting some affection and feeling wanted makes us humans feel good.

I think the reasoning would go both ways for men and women. But yes I would agree to it.

I think feeling unappreciated ends a lot of relationships whether they be romantic or not.

I can agree with that, but deep down that comes down to attraction and a lack of self love. Why would we need someone to make us happy to be happy with ourselves? A lot of people are either codependent or too dependent on their partner. To put it simply though yes, I believe that would be a good reason the majority of relationships end. You can throw that in the category of personal incompatibility or needs not being meant though also.

An old flame told me once, and he was male, "We are not put on earth to improve someone else's self esteem, that is THEIR job. Nor are we put on earth to entertain others non-stop." I like the relationship where you both are equals and you can go hours with talking to each other and still feel happy and secure and when you do talk, it is respectful and interesting. Most people can't do this. I refuse to pander to a male's ego if he needs my input to feel secure, and I don't ask him to pander to mine. I don't need praise, I need companionship and understanding. If women don't get THAT, that is why we leave. Guys, it's not all about you and it's not all about us ladies, okay? It is about being a team, a partnership, while still feeling free. If you haven't had that, you haven't lived, my friends.

Those were major factors in my recent BU, so I agree to some extent, but I think trust issues trump the issues you stated. If you don't trust your partner there is no point in being with them. That's what it all came down to in my situation.

I think it's true. People tend not to leave relationships when they are emotionally fulfilled.

AKA INTERDEPENDENCE in a relationship is a healthy relationship. Great post btw.

I totally disagree. Many women get dumped who have doted on their bf's and been very good to them.

I totally disagree. Many women get dumped who have doted on their bf's and been very good to them.

I agree and disagree with what has been said.

Being unappreciated can be a big problem in relationships. But "doting" on your partner doesn't ensure anything. Partners can leave due to other big issues, like lack of connection with their partner. Just because you're doting on your boyfriend doesn't mean that you're emotionally fulfilling his needs or that he FEELS like his needs are being met.

I agree and disagree with what has been said.

 

Being unappreciated can be a big problem in relationships. But "doting" on your partner doesn't ensure anything. Partners can leave due to other big issues, like lack of connection with their partner. Just because you're doting on your boyfriend doesn't mean that you're emotionally fulfilling his needs or that he FEELS like his needs are being met.

This makes sense. But I still don't think I've ever had someone breakup with me because he felt "unappreciated".

"We are not put on earth to improve someone else's self esteem, that is THEIR job. Nor are we put on earth to entertain others non-stop." I like the relationship where you both are equals and you can go hours with talking to each other and still feel happy and secure and when you do talk, it is respectful and interesting. Most people can't do this. I refuse to pander to a male's ego if he needs my input to feel secure, and I don't ask him to pander to mine. I don't need praise, I need companionship and understanding. If women don't get THAT, that is why we leave. Guys, it's not all about you and it's not all about us ladies, okay? It is about being a team, a partnership, while still feeling free. If you haven't had that, you haven't lived, my friends.

^^ THIS! I totally agree. This covers it all.

To me the number one reason a guy might break up with his girlfriend is if she's very insecure and smothering and doesn't give him space when he needs it. A close second might be as per the first post on this thread. If we feel we aren't satisfying her needs, if she doesn't trust and respect us and look to us for support, then we feel useless and unsatisfied and unneeded and that can lead to a guy looking elsewhere. A close third might be a woman who is a drama queen who is prone to rather "reactive" behavior that is overblown to the situation at hand.

Those top 3 reasons are my own opinions and personal experiences, as a repeat "dumper" I get to say what works for me and what doesn't.

I dumped girls when I felt like the girl wasn't into me or she lost attraction for me compared to where she used to be. It's painful to deal with, so I'd rather not. They'd say that they're into me obviously, but body language (and actions) speaks louder than words.

no...i don't agree...based on my own personal experiences.

this feels a bit like going to a psychic...or reading a horoscope (as much as i embrace my scorpio roots! it's so general...that it's easy to apply to just about any situation. it doesn't feel insightful at all. far too generic. leaves alot of room for interpretation.

Well I'm a guy and I disagree....The No.1 reason for me personally is nagging...

I'm non-jealous, very supporting and caring...but dont nag me*

As for the doting on your partner bit, after so many years I have finally come to realise why my GF's have left even though I was 'considered' a perfect BF..

....I was too perfect.

So my partners would never have felt unappreciated, quite the opposite, but I now know that you can also do too much for your partner...

I learn things every day...I wonder what I'll learn tomorrow*

Carus* 8-)

This is so true. And this is why my X just left me I feel. After the "honeymoon stage" was over, I felt as though she was infatuated with me and would not leave me for anything. Boy was I wrong.