Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 34

Thread: my boyfriend enjoys anal stimulation... is he gay?

  1. #1
    nichole lee

    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    iowa
    Posts
    2
    Gender
    Female

    my boyfriend enjoys anal stimulation... is he gay?

    We are both extremely confused right now. He really wants to do anal with me... as in, he wants me to do anal to him! Like, I've researched online and i know the G-spot is in the anus on a male.
    We're both at the age of exploring our sexual curiosity. The problem is, he's getting really confused on what to think. He enjoys anal stimulation (he fingered himself and stuck an object in there). He says that he feels gay for it and I asked "You don't want a guy to do it, right?" and he said "No, not really. My curiosity is off the chart right now". I don't know what to say to him. Because Im insecure about the whole thing, I asked if he was attracted to me and he said that I turn him on and my body turns him on and thinking about me turns him on and that he has no desire to be with a man.
    We've talked about me giving him anal stimulation while i give him oral, but I don't think I can. I'm worried and confused and just don't know what to think. Like, i just wish he wasn't this way but I don't want to tell him that, I just don't think I can help him explore his sexuality. What do I do/think!? Please answer me on here or e-mail me<removed>
    I just need a male to tell me it's not a gay act and a female to say that she's done it. I need someone to tell me whats going on!!! I feel like our sex life will be weird/akward/uncomfortable and i just want things to be and feel normal. i mean for gods sakes! ive never even seen a straight porn where the man gets fingered! HELP ME PLEASE come to terms with this.... please
    Last edited by HeartGoesOn; 07-06-2011 at 10:41 PM. Reason: removed personal information

  2. #2
    RedDress
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    5,530
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    139
    It's not gay and I've done it to a man. You are just freaking out because maybe it's a little bit taboo.

    Totally normal.

  3. #3
    agent
    Super Moderator agent's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    England
    Age
    34
    Posts
    10,399
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1773
    I've done it to guys. It's fantastic.

    Look, there's nothing gay about wanting to see what your body likes.

  4. #4
    sara-pezzini
    Platinum Member sara-pezzini's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    europe
    Age
    44
    Posts
    3,247
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    824
    it is totally not gay, and can provide great pleasure for a man as his G-spot, so to speak is there, and i just did it to my BF as well, it gave him a very strong and intense orgasm and he loved it, and he is surely not gay either, it is seen as a taboo and will cause people to react negatively but as long as you can give him great pleasure that way who cares? i gave my BF a blowjob at the same time and he was harder as he has ever been before, and we will certainly do it more often....
    just enjoy it if you can, if you don't like it then you shouldn't do it, but it can be fun and really intimate for both of you!

  5. #5
    mrwebcam
    Member mrwebcam's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Roseville,Michigan
    Posts
    155
    Gender
    Male
    Well i am a male and honestly he is not gay. Tell you the truth i will bet my life that most guys like some kind of anal stimulation but will not admit it for we do not want to be portrayed as gay. If you don't want to do it just tell him and if he really wants to do it he will while you to are sexual. Don't let it get to you. The women i have been with loved doing it and it also turned them on more. It brings our orgasm more intense and a different feeling when we ejaculate

  6. #6
    Huntress0527
    Platinum Member Huntress0527's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    1,428
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1
    It's women thinking that it's gay that makes men not want to reveal that they would like to try it.

    It's totally NOT gay and my fiance loves it. I introduced it to him because he never thought to really give it a try and I was the first girl to make him comfortable about it heck I even suggested it!!

    Give it a try I'm sure you'll both be pleased!

  7. #7
    FathomFear
    Platinum Member FathomFear's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Canada
    Age
    37
    Posts
    4,647
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    7
    Quote Originally Posted by Huntress0527 [Register to see the link]
    It's women thinking that it's gay that makes men not want to reveal that they would like to try it.
    This. There's nothing "gay" about massaging the prostate gland. The only reason so many straight guys get antsy about it is because of 1) homophobia, and 2) being penetrated is viewed as being made feminine, which is also something most guys are encouraged to fear.

    Trust me. I've known straight guys who unfortunately did not have the guts to admit to their girlfriends that they wanted to pursue strap-on play out of fear of being labeled as gay or being seen as less masculine. It took a lot of guts for him to confide that in you. Just remember that being gay means that you're physically and emotionally attracted to other men. It doesn't mean attraction to particular sex acts regardless of the gender of those involved.

  8. #8
    lukeb
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Alberta, Canada
    Age
    51
    Posts
    3,306
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    219
    I doubt that us telling you it isn't gay is going to do anything to alleviate his fears. I wouldn't say it is necessarily gay but it isn't a stretch to think for you boyfriend to spread his legs and allow himself to be penetrated isn't somehow assuming a role that has traditionally been considered "female". Perhaps it is less a gay concern as it is a gender concern. I wish we could all just be happy and not so sensitive about it but in many cases that is just unrealistic. I could say well it should be ok for your boyfriend to wear a skirt to work if that is what he wants, I doubt though if it would make any difference in how he would get treated at work regardless of what anybody says on here.

  9. #9
    NightLily
    Platinum Member NightLily's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    nowhere
    Posts
    2,693
    Thanked
    41
    If your boyfriend is truthfully attracted to you he is by default not gay. At most it would be possible he is bisexual.

    In the case that you are really not comfortable with this, remember that he can explore this on his own. You both just need to be totally honest about your comfort levels here.

  10. #10
    FathomFear
    Platinum Member FathomFear's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Canada
    Age
    37
    Posts
    4,647
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    7
    I would agree with lukeb that this has more to do with "gender panic" than about sexuality. Being "masculine" is taken to mean the pursuer, the aggressor, the penetrator, the seeder, etc. The "feminine" is passive, that which is pursued, the penetrated, etc. That's why so many guys have such a kneejerk reaction to the idea of being stimulated anally. As many feminist theorists have written about extensively, the fear of penetration is one of the hallmarks of patriarchal societies.

  11.  

Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Top Threads
So confusing !
So I'm a straight guy and I have been in a relationship with a girl for 5 years I have a friend and we've been really close recently , speaking
Relationship ended in Feb 2017 - but we still see each other and is tearing me a
Hello, my story is I am a gay male aged in my mid forties and my ex in late 20's broke up with me in late February this year after a year. Our
I'm in love with a coworker and friend
Hi, I'm a 28 years old woman and I'm in love with my coworker and friend, a woman too. I'm bisexual and not everyone in my life knows it, but the
Trust is gone and now she's closed off completely
I've made this thread and posted it to the trust and relationship section a few days ago and I've figured I'd try posting it to the LGBT community as
Featured Threads
Completely Confused? What does this mean?
Hi All- I was dating a guy for almost a year. We had a pretty great relationship- Things got serious. We told each other we loved each other. Even
Boyfriend told me he couldn't afford holiday, next day books one to Thailand
Basically my boyfriend of 6 months is $40k in debt (I'm debt-free). We had talked about going to Vietnam and he said he needed 6 months to save up
Not a regular here, I have a few questions...
I'll try to make this brief. Been in a relationship (23F) with a man (35) for 5 years. Typical in the beginning, though I always wondered how he
Weed or Me
Hi, I have been dating my boyfriend for a few months - he is 31 and I am 24. He has recently started smoking weed every night and I don't really
Is He Hiding from Me?
Hi All, Need some advice from those that are familiar with social media apps such as Instagram.. I'v been friends with this guy for about a
Red flag in friendship
I've been through a terrible first break up and was in a lot of pain. I was physically and mentally sick due to the stress of the break up but I'm
I broke hard NC after 7 months (B I G M I S T A K E)
No surprise, I'm absolutely devastated. She pretty much blew me off like I was a piece of trash. At first I was happy because she actually responded
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •