I didn't know exactly where to post this, but I guess it fits best here. I've known this girl for about 3-4 years, and I care very deeply for and about her, and I do love her. But she's just not a good friend. When we first met, she had a bad breakup, and we were "involved" for a couple months and I did think it was something special, but it turned out thats just how she is with pretty much every guy she meets. But through all the guys she met, there I stood, trying to be her friend just like she needed, no matter how much it hurt. She even crowned me her "best friend", although I couldn't truly call her the same because the way she was, but I was there for her no matter what. After the first year, something happened in my life and I decided to leave her alone and let her do her thing for 2 years... then I started talking to her again. Nothings really changed with her, although she said she's grown up, but to me she really hasn't. She still shoves me aside when she meets someone new and although everyone, even myself, knows that she's like that..I still want to be close to her and a part of her life.
We've only hung out a few times, and never really got to catch up. And I know we won't now since she met someone new. Once again, all the plans I've had to hang out for events or even just to hang out are down the drain. I started talking to her again right when she broke up with her boyfriend of a year, and I just thought it was funny that I come back into her life after another breakup. But she needed a friend and she needed help, and there I was again.
For the 2 years that we didn't have any contact, I thought about her literally every day. My happiest times are when I'm hanging out with her, and my saddest times are when I'm away from her or anything else involving her. So once again, she met someone new, and it hurts all over again.
People say that to get over someone, you don't talk to them. But seeing as how I thought about her every single day for 2 years when we were apart, that didn't do well. She lives 2 hours away from me, but will be moving to the same city as me for the guy she just met. I'm not sure if her relationship will last with him, and I'm sure she'll just meet someone new if it doesn't, but she's my friend. I just miss my friend, and I feel we're growing further apart, and that used to happen a lot when she met some new guy month after month. But it really is different now, because it's not so common with her.
I really don't know what to do. She's different again, as she used to be when she met someone new, and treats me and talks to me like less than a friend, but I stick around because I know thats just the way she is. I don't know if its different this time, and if this time I really will have to say goodbye.
I write this depressed, and I'll be honest that I did/do have deep feelings for her, but more importantly I just miss having my close friend around.
I say she's bad for me not just because everyone else says it, but I know it. She's ungrateful for the things I do for her and who I am for her, and really only seems to care about herself. So why do I care? ...sadly, because she's the only girl to make me happy the way she does.