<removed> I need advice..

my boyfriend and I were having sex tonight, and it was great, but we ran outta time before he could climax and when he pulled out, the condom was not on...it was scrunched up inside me...should I be worried I could be pregnant? I dunno what to do...I'm so worried...

HELP

Yes, you could get pregnant from that.

Go to your nearest drugstore and buy Plan B. It's an emergency contraceptive pill (ECP) that will hopefully arrest fertilization of an egg. You don't need a prescription. Take it asap.

They're all closed, so he's going in the morning to get an ECP...am I at high risk?

I'm not clear from your post if he climaxed in you or not. Of course you can get pregnant even if he didn't climax and pulled out -- since sperm are released even before the orgasm. But of course, if he ejaculated, there's more of it.

What makes it more high risk is where you're at in your menstrual cycle. When did you get your last period?

he did not climax, and two or three weeks ago

Well, I don't know how many days you have in between periods, but right in the MIDDLE of your cycle (halfway between periods) you are at the most fertile, so the most risk.

What this means is that around 2 weeks after your last period (since a whole cycle is a month long), you are at the midpoint, and therefore it's when you're most likely to become pregnant.

So yes, this is around a more risky time, I'm sorry to say. The egg is released around 2 weeks in -- this is called ovulation, and it's when the egg can be fertilized. Three weeks is a little less risky. But this whole window is higher risk.

When you get the Plan B, take it immediately. The sooner you take it, the better chance it has of working.

I advise all women to know their own cycle, so they are aware when they are most fertile and can be extra careful. Approximately two weeks after every period is when you ovulate, so very risky then. About 5-7 days before that sperm can survive and fertilize an egg. Since you never know exactly when you ovulate (unless you do very complicated self-monitoring), about 5-7 days after that you should still be mindful that you could become pregnant.

* * * * in a...now i'm horrified...

Don't panic. Take it one day at a time here. Accidents happen and every woman has had scares. I have not used any other birth control methods besides the condom myself, but because of that, I have learned a lot about my cycles and most fertile days. If you are this terrified, you should have a backup plan that you use with regularity, like the regular birth control Pill or get fitted with a diaphragm.

But for this time around, the best you can do is take the Plan B. If you had your period 3 weeks ago, that's less risky than 2 weeks. Still pretty borderline.

Believe it or not, the egg only survives for 24 hours. So if it was released more than 24 hours before you guys had sex, it can't be fertilized anymore. This is not something to bank on, by any means, because you never know exactly when you ovulated! But let's hope that's what happened.

Just sit tight!

From memory with the Morning after pill (ECP) he can not go and get it for you, you'll have to go down and get it. That's the law in Australia anyway.

Wow, even i didnt know that Why. Wonder who made that law up.

Depending on where the OP lives, minors may not be able to purchase it without a prescription, and being present to buy it ensures the the woman is not a minor. I neglected to ask what age the OP is or where she lives, but in some places these are restrictions.

KatyC,

Stop worrying. You're at an extremely low risk of being pregnant. Take the MAP if you want for extra assurance (though honestly you probably wont need it), try not to worry because that can delay the start of your next period thus worrying you more, and get better fitting condoms for him.

Honestly, you'll not be pregnant. You're fine.

Edit: Yeah you need to buy the MAP yourself. Someone can't purchase it for you. I dunno where you live but in the UK you can get it over the counter without prescription and all that'll happen is the pharmacist will ask you a few questions and tell you how to take it/side effects etc.

Well he went and got next choice this morning and I took it. I'm 18 and live in the US. I'm feeling some of the side effects, but I'm telling myself that means its working...I hope it turns out okay, I leave for college in a few months...I can't believe we were so careless...

You're at an extremely low risk of being pregnant. Take the MAP if you want for extra assurance (though honestly you probably wont need it)

Not sure how you've arrived at that. That's incorrect.

Well he went and got next choice this morning and I took it. I'm 18 and live in the US. I'm feeling some of the side effects, but I'm telling myself that means its working...I hope it turns out okay, I leave for college in a few months...I can't believe we were so careless...

Good for you, Katy. Unprotected sex should always be followed by the morning after pill as soon as you can possibly get it, if you used no other birth control, but I strongly recommend, to repeat, that you have something else in addition. I wish the best for you and good luck!

This site says the egg is viable for 24-48 hours. I've always known it to be 24, but it's better to be on the safe side by considering 48. A little knowledge is power.

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Not sure how you've arrived at that. That's incorrect.

It's not incorrect and I arrived at it through common sense. First of all, he didn't come therefore the risk would only have been from pre-cum which is lower anyways and any that there was would have been inside the condom. Secondly, they used a condom and it came off inside her so unless it magically turned itself around and inside out and the tiniest bit of pre cum was aimed at her cervix....well I think most people would agree the risk is small!

A condom doesn't have to "magically" turn itself inside-out to spill its contents into the vagina. Nor does cum or pre-cum have to be "aimed" at the cervix for sperm to swim in. Pregnancy can occur if ANY cum/pre-cum is deposited in the genitals. Sperm's job is to swim, and hard. Pre-cum makes women pregnant, which is why if you look up failure rates for the "withdrawal" method of birth control (where he just pulls out), you'll see pretty high numbers. Sure, it's got less sperm in it than ejaculate, but who wants to take that chance?

The OP is also in her most fertile period of the month.

So if you add in all the possible risks, it's not worth it. Even if the risk were small, taking a pill is a lot better than having a child to deal with for the next 18 years, when you've just become an adult yourself and have your whole life ahead of you.

When it comes to pregnancy, better safe than sorry. It's not wise to treat this casually as you are and just hope that the Russian Roulette works in your favor.

Taking this pill might have saved the OP a pregnancy, but you've made it sound optional.

Your calculations are not "common sense." Ask any gynecologist.

 

When it comes to pregnancy, better safe than sorry. It's not wise to treat this casually as you are and just hope that the Russian Roulette works in your favor.

 

Taking this pill might have saved the OP a pregnancy, but you've made it sound optional.

 

Your calculations are not "common sense." Ask any gynecologist.

Are you a gynaecologist? I would suggest perhaps you ask one.

*Sigh* TOV, wether or not pre-cum contains sperm is debatable and from what I know, most of the evidence suggests it does not. I told the OP the risk of her getting pregnant from some pre cum in a condom was extremely low and I'm pretty sure if you asked any gynaecologis, they'd agree with me! This is not a case of "russian roulette" as you put it. I feel like you had the other person terrified that her risks of falling pregnant were high and I felt terrible for her when she said she was terrified. To be honest I think you over dramatised the whole thing. Anyhow, I wont add to the drama by commenting further. Given your opinion, I see no point.

No, I'm not a gynecologist. But I've more than my share of gynecological issues, and innumerable gynecological visits to my name, requiring talking about birth control (I can't handle the typical chemical/pill approaches, so I've had to make do with condoms and careful self-tracking.) My gynecologist(s) very strictly explained the principles in this thread to me. Once I had sex 9 days before I was due to ovulate without a condom (and he had only inserted his penis, then pulled it out) and I told her and she yelled at me, " You know better than that." And put me on Plan B. I wasn't even RIGHT at midcycle, it was a few days before. My doctor of 17 years was not an alarmist -- just a woman seeing lots of unwanted pregnancies.

Every doctor has backed that up, every book on fertility, every women's studies class, every resource about how to GET pregnant if you want to conceive, every site about sex ed. And this is what I counsel in whatever women's health education capacity. This is basic health info that I didn't make up as a scare tactic, Saffron. It's not "my" opinion -- it's the consensus for anyone who wants to do their research.

Whether or not there is a "slimmer" chance of becoming pregnant on pre-cum is not the issue. I'm not arguing that. I agree. It's just that it's UNRELIABLE to base a decision on that.

The OP was appropriately worried, and the only reason I was as serious as I was, was because I know first-hand that this isn't something to toy with. But I don't believe in hysteria and panic (as I posted to her) -- just swift and informed action, which she did. And it was good she did. I hope in the future she won't need to and I hope this will be okay.

I wouldn't belabor this, except that I think when it comes to STDs and pregnancy, it's better safe than sorry, and people should be taking appropriate precautions, not betting their future on getting lucky. I'm not trying to strong-arm you, Saffron, I just think it's as important to take measures (like Plan B) and know the risks as it is to not panic. But I'm bowing out now as well, since I've disseminated the info I think she needed.

Why are you practising the withdrawal method? If you are having sex then you need to responsible enough to use at least two forms of contraception.

Oopsie, booboo. And the edit window's past:

Once I had sex 9 days before I was due to ovulate without a condom (and he had only inserted his penis, then pulled it out)

Actually, it was 5 days before ovulation, but that falls on day 9 of the menstrual cycle. If you're careful with your calendar tracking.

And dramallama, their condom broke.

That's why you shouldn't use condoms alone. Combine condoms with a hormonal birth control - there are many different kinds out there. Condoms break, slip, get past their expiration date, are applied incorrectly.

well...I have to wait til I get off to college to get hormonal birth control, I can't have it while at home, my parents wouldn't allow it. They are uber christian.

well...I have to wait til I get off to college to get hormonal birth control, I can't have it while at home, my parents wouldn't allow it. They are uber christian.

I imagine your parents don't know you're having sex. So go to Planned Parenthood, and ask them what your options are and cost. Your parents don't have to know you're on birth control pills.

well...I have to wait til I get off to college to get hormonal birth control, I can't have it while at home, my parents wouldn't allow it. They are uber christian.

If you live in the states you can go to Planned Parenthood and get it. Your parents cant even make the appt for you - I was 15 when I went on BC (to regulate me) and my father couldn't even set up the appt, I had to.

Are you a gynaecologist? I would suggest perhaps you ask one.

 

*Sigh* TOV, wether or not pre-cum contains sperm is debatable and from what I know, most of the evidence suggests it does not. I told the OP the risk of her getting pregnant from some pre cum in a condom was extremely low and I'm pretty sure if you asked any gynaecologis, they'd agree with me! This is not a case of "russian roulette" as you put it. I feel like you had the other person terrified that her risks of falling pregnant were high and I felt terrible for her when she said she was terrified. To be honest I think you over dramatised the whole thing. Anyhow, I wont add to the drama by commenting further. Given your opinion, I see no point.

 

It's actually not that debatable as couples have gotten pregnant using the withdraw methods for years now. And even if for some reason science has lead us wrong, I would much rather have sex under the notion of 'pre cum contains sperm and it doesn't come out right before he does' and protect myself than play the 'it may and it may not' card. I agree the chances are low the OP is pregnant but whenever there is a condomn malfunction I tend to error on the side of caution.